Black Bird
by Sirana
Summary: I knew I wasn't too bright, but I didn't think I'd be so stupid as to forget everything! One day I woke up in a coffin without a clue in the world as to who or where I was! My first goal was to explore who I used to be but the more I tried, the scarier it became...now I can't go anywhere without being recognized and I'm starting to think I should have left the past in the past.
1. Darkness

**Hi all! This is my first LOTR fic so here we go! **

**Also, if you know me from reading my OHSHC fics, I'm taking a break from those...but I hope you enjoy this one! I'm really happy with it!**

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><p>Darkness…smells like mahogany. Yep, this seemed like the pace I needed to be.<p>

…Hold on… My eyes shot open and I looked around to the wood surrounding me. It was very tight in the little box and breathing was hardly easy. Small lights flickered in through cracks of the wood and I could hear a muffled voice in the distance. I slammed my hands against the top of the box and began screaming for help which caused the voice to cease their discussion.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" I shouted over and over again as my hands splintered as I tried to escape.

Through the cracks of the box, I saw a shadow moving around my box. I heard the jangling of keys, a lock click, and my wooden prison was flung open!

"What the hell…" the girl muttered in shock.

She was one of those cute ginger girls, around seventeen. She had curly red hair, and her face was dotted with millions of freckles. I guess I could've seen worse when the top of my little box was opened.

"Oh thank God!" I gasped, wheezing in fresh air as I sat up.

I took a few moments to breathe when I noticed she just kept staring at me!

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"Y-y-y… You're supposed…" she stuttered in shock.

"I'm supposed to be what? I don't even know where I am or who I am," I chuckled.

"Dead! You were DEAD a few minutes ago!" she wailed, "How are you alive?!"

It was then that I realized, I was _surrounded _by coffins. Coffins were scattered all over the little room I was in and I had just popped out of one. Not to mention I realized I was stark naked! The girl shakily handed me a cloak which I thankfully covered myself with.

"I was dead?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes," she breathed in response, "Your body was hanging from the pillar in the town square. Your eyes were gouged out, nose slit, hair ripped out, and flinger nails gone,"

"…Well…thank you for that morbid description…" I muttered in shock then looked at her closely, "are you sure?"

"Yes! I wouldn't lie about something this!" she exclaimed then looked closely right back at me, "But your accent is strange and you have a lot of sass. Where do you hail from?"

"Hail from?" I asked then laughed, "I just woke up from being dead! I don't even know my own name!"

"Oh…you mean you don't remember anything?" she asked.

"No!" I repeated.

"Ok, I'll tell you everything I can tell about you," she said holding out a hand, "Come,"

I took the girl's hand and stepped out of my coffin, careful not to trip over any others.

"By the way, I'm Shalen," she said as she led me out of the room of dead people.

Shalen sat me down in her kitchen, lit a fire, and handed me a cup of tea. She still kept looking at me as if she was dreaming but anyone would if they saw a supposedly dead girl spring back to life! Then she sat down next to me and continued to study me as if to say 'are you sure you're not a ghost?'

"So, what do you know about me?" I asked, trying to get her attention.

"Oh!" Shalen gasped, snapping back into reality, "Right…Well, two days ago you came into town, you barely spoke a word to anyone except a stable boy who boarded your horse…"

"Wait, I had a horse?" I interrupted.

Shalen only nodded and continued, "Then you disappeared for a while until that night you broke into the governor's house. You were caught stealing his silver and…That's when they tortured and killed you. Your body hung in the town for another day before they let me take you down and prepare you for burial,"

At this, I just couldn't find what to say! Learning you were gruesomely tortured then hung is rather frightening and I was no exception.

"I did all that?" I finally asked in a terrified whisper.

"Yes,"

At that, I just felt shock take over and I blacked out.

MreeOOOOOw!

"Gah!" I screamed as I woke from the ground which I had collapsed.

By now, it was morning and it looked as if Shalen just left me lying on the ground from where I fainted the night before. I also noticed a black cat, meowing like a demon, dart past me and jump out a window.

"Oof!" I grunted as I felt a foot step on me.

"Oh, sorry…uh…dead girl…not sure what I should call you," came Shalen's voice.

I shakily stood to my feet, still trying to cover my body with the cloak she lent me. When I fainted before, I had expected to just wake up where I was supposed to be and remember who I was. I had half thought that the previous night was only a nightmare, the ones you dream when you've read too many horror books before bed.

"I'm trying to catch my cat," Shalen sighed, "Damn feline, I caught her nibbling at the corpse I got this morning and she's gotten off with its ear! Oh what am I worrying about, wait here, I'll get you clothes. By the end of today, you can have your horse and be out of here,"

"But I'm an outlaw right? I was caught stealing," I called as she left the room.

"Yes but I met with the sheriff this morning and he told me you've paid your price: death. You have clean slate from now on. I can't say that most people have that kind of opportunity," she called back from the other room.

That was very convenient! Shalen came back into the kitchen and handed me a tight fitting tunic and pants. They still left me with plenty of room to move around in of course, at least I wasn't stuck in a tattered dress like herself…no offence. Once I had squirmed into my new outfit, Shalen handed me a pair of weird looking gloves.

"The sheriff said you were wearing these. Sorry you had to use my clothes, apparently your torturers burnt your old ones," she said as I carefully took the gloves. They were strangely bulky, almost as if they weren't meant for my hands and they had some kind of metal inside them that was somewhat uncomfortable.

On one hand, it had engraved in it a strange pattern of symbols and other was no different.

"Do you not recognize it?" Shalen asked as I looked up from my gloves, "It's elvish,"

"What?" I asked, "What's elvish?"

"You don't even remember anything about your land, Middle Earth?" Shalen asked hopelessly.

"Middle Earth?" I said curiously, "Is that where we are?"

"Yes, there are elves here. The snobs think highly of themselves just because they're swifter and can live longer than the other races. Bastards are immortal until you kill them…" Shalen spat, for the first time showing spite.

"I take it you're not fond of them," I said.

"No but I can speak enough to translate what's written on each glove," she said, then held out her hands, "May I?"

I handed her the gloves and she studied them for a few moments.

"The left says 'tooth' and the other 'claw'," Shalen announced, "Or as pronounced in elvish, 'karka' and 'rakka',"

"Impressive," I mused, "Do you know any other languages?"

"A bit of Dwarvish," she giggled.

MREOOOW!

"Damnit, that's my cat!" Shalen shouted as she pointed out the window, "I should at least make an attempt to catch her,"

Something about that cat on the roof outside just compelled me. I felt as though the outside world was calling my name, saying 'come, use me as a resource'. My eyes darted from the window to the roof where the cat was perched and my feet began to move.

"What are you doing?" Shalen asked but it was too late.

I had bounded through open window and was scaling the house next door. Every jutting piece of wood was a step and ever sliver of ledge was a place to grab. I scrabbled up the wall and reached the top. Pouncing at Shalen's cat, it darted off and began jumping to the next roof!

"Come back, pussy!" I shouted playfully.

I heard gasps from below as I took a massive leap from one roof to the next, chasing the black feline through the town. Now it may have been my insane acrobatics or it was the fact that the town thought I was dead. Either way, I was attracting a lot of attention! Every second I came nearer and nearer to the sprinting cat, until it decided to throw me off. Shalen's cat made a quick turn and ran straight across a clothes line and onto another house too far for me to jump to.

"Wow!" I exclaimed as I faltered before the line.

_I don't know… _I thought. _Could I make that?_

I looked up to the cat. She was staring at me from across the line and seemed to be mocking me with her piercing green eyes.

"Yeah, I can make this," I smirked and took off across the line.

I was shaky at first but about midway to the other roof, I began to speed up, my feet balancing carefully and quickly on each bit of rope.

"Gotcha!" I screamed as I dove for the cat from the clothes line.

Except…the cat decided to leap away at the last second. I slid straight over the roof and the next thing I knew, I was falling! And this wasn't a little house either.

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><p><strong>Just an introductory chapter to the world our mysterious main character has entered. Let me know if you like it!<strong>


	2. Dead Girl

**I'm so glad I already got a reviewer! Thanks, IAmAFantasyFan!**

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><p>"Aaaaaaaaah!" I screamed the entire time I fell which was for quite a while!<p>

In fact, it was too long, even for the tall building I was on! When I stopped screaming and opened my eyes, I saw the ground below where a large mob of onlookers crowded around. Yet, I seemed to be suspended in midair, no longer falling. As I searched the crowd for someone who was willing to help, I saw Shalen push through.

"Dead girl!" Shalen shouted to me, "It's alright, look at your hands!"

Slowly, I looked up, to see my hands, clinging for the wall to dear life! But it wasn't some super-human-hand power that saved me, but the gloves I was wearing. Tooth and Claw had saved me! Metallic claws had jutted from them and dug deeply into the side of the building, preventing me from falling any further.

"I think I know how those gloves work!" Shalen continued, "Whatever you do, don't un-flex your…"

"No, no, no!" I screamed as I felt my gloves give way and I plopped straight to the ground with a THUD.

"…hands…" Shalen finished.

Shalen helped me up and as she did, I looked around at the crowd. They were all whispering things about me and it made me very uneasy.

"Do they find it shocking that I'm alive?" I whispered to Shalen.

"Well of course but it's not only that," she whispered back, "Those leaps, that dexterity, your skills; they're that of an elf's!"

"You mean that race you described as 'snobbish'?" I asked.

"Yes, the snobby ones with the pointy ears," Shalen laughed, "Come, dead girl, let's get you back,"

"But what about your cat?" I asked as we pushed through the crowd.

Shalen only laughed more at this, "She's had her dose of excitement for the day, dead girl,"

"You should call me something else besides 'dead girl'," I chuckled as we walked.

"Well what should you be called? How about something that matches your black hair? Nocturna?" she suggested.

"A bit obscure," I retorted.

"How about something to match your green eyes? Calen?" Shalen tried again.

"Hm. I like it," I smiled, "Then I'm Calen…wait, that rhymes with your name!"

Shalen only winked at me and skipped on ahead of me.

"Hey, you meant to name me that!" I laughed as I chased after her.

Shalen and I decided to be partners. One moment she wanted me to saddle up and leave and the next she was begging me to stay. She would let me stay with her and eat her food if I took mercenary jobs and gave her the money I was rewarded. My skilled acrobatics came in handy when fulfilling mercenary jobs and the pay wasn't half bad. While I lived with her, Shalen taught me about the culture of Middle Earth and even taught me a bit of Elvish and Dwarfish. We tried to look for clues on restoring my personal memories but it always ended in a dead end. The two of us also searched on my heritage, to see if there were any traces of Elvish in my family. Something had to have been passed down to give me my great dexterity! Of course, we found nothing. Shalen and I lived about half a year like this until one day.

The sun shone brightly on our little town and I spent the morning bounding across the roofs, nearing closer to Shalen's house. When I reached her roof, I jumped off, felt my clawed gloves dig into the side of the building, swung my body, and sailed straight through her kitchen window!

"Boo!" I shouted as I landed.

Shalen about dropped her breakfast in shock!

"Oh my goodness! Gave me a worse shock the day I found you!" Shalen gasped, catching her breath.

"Sorry," I laughed, "I got some mail for you, and some money from my last mercenary job,"

"No one can stop you and your gloves, can they?" Shalen mused as she took the letters and coins from me.

"'tooth' and 'claw' are just the best outlaw hunters around," I bragged, showing off my Elven gloves.

Shalen only rolled her eyes and began going through the letters. When she had her back turned, I pecked a bit off her meal until she let out an exclamation.

"Oh my!" she squealed.

"What?" I asked, breathing down her neck to see what was so special about the letter she had.

"I completely forgot!" She continued to say in delight.

"What?!" I asked again.

"A few years ago I won a bet and got a wonderful horse," she explained, turning to me, "I didn't have the money to board it so instead I put it up for breeding. To my surprise, some elves from Rivendell wanted it! It must've been one rare horse. Anyways, that was years ago…I never thought I'd hear back from those immortal snobs,"

"So what did they say?" I asked excitedly.

"They say that they've bred my horse and have gotten a filly. And because I have custody over it, they're giving it to me!" she exclaimed happily, "And with the money you've been making me, I can board it!"

"That's wonderful, Shalen!" I smiled, joining in with her celebration.

"Oh wait…" she said, her face dropping, "You know those bandits you caught a week ago?"

"How could I forget, most cowardly bandits Middle Earth's ever known," I laughed.

"Well they're scheduled to hang tonight…and well…there are fourteen of them," she explained uncomfortably, "I'm the undertaker so once they're dead, I'll be working on all fourteen bodies…"

"I can help!" I suggested.

"No!" she said rather hurriedly, "I mean…dealing with dead, heavy bodies is different than tracking down living ones. Why don't you go to Rivendell and get my horse for me?"

"Me? Wow…" I breathed.

Since I moved in with Shalen, I had heard all kinds of stories about Elven cities. By people's descriptions, they were truly breath-taking and I had been itching to ever since. However by Shalen's constant complaining about elves, I wasn't too sure if I was eager to meet them. Shalen gave me a map and directions to the Elven city and I left at once. I still had the same horse that I had since I first came to the town. Because I lost my memory and I never told the stable boy the steed's name, I couldn't remember what he was called.

So I decided to give him a menacing name of Mearrokko, meaning 'gore horse' in Elvish. He was a dark brown stallion with black legs and a white blaze on his forehead. By losing my memory, I also forgot most of my horseback skills. It had taken me the entire half of the year to relearn everything about horses and by then, I had gotten the basics down. Mearrokko and I rode out of our little hole-in-the-wall of a town and rode off to a much more prestigious settlement. I had taken long mercenary jobs before but the journey to Rivendell was a few days. It was boring if anything else and I found myself beginning to talk to Mearrokko!

About the third day into the journey, something peculiar happened. My horse was just trotting along the path when I felt the road underneath us begin to rumble. It felt as if a stampede of horses was headed straight for us! Mearrokko sensed it too and cantered off the main road on his own accord. I left him far off the trail and decided to investigate the sound. I watched from a well-hidden bush as nine black riders, black as night, flew past me, they were hooded and cloaked with horses that made mine look like a foal. I felt the coldness of death that I had felt about half a year before. To feel that disgusting premonition of not existing was disturbing and these riders brought it in their wake.

Finally, I snapped out of my terrified state, realizing they were long gone. How long had I just been crouching there, letting the riders' aura overtake me? I felt Mearrokko nibble at the back of my neck as if to ask 'are you ok?' I only stroked his head, my breathing still shaking after my encounter. With that, I carefully trotted onward. The entire time, I kept my green, cat-like eyes open for any dark horse riders. Whoever they were, they didn't seem friendly. That night, I barely slept a wink. As always, I lay against my horse who had laid down on the side of the road. I just kept waiting for those strange horse riding monsters to come storming down the pathway. Morning came, luckily without any black riders. I could tell you about the rest of my journey but it's only about me trotting through the woods, making sure I didn't see another black horse. When sunset began to seep into the sky, I noticed the forest become more and more tranquil. The trees were less rugged and they swayed in the wind happily. The atmosphere seemed so much more peaceful and tranquil for whatever reason. Yet I also felt a strong warning coming from the nature around me.

I was used to climbing trees with Tooth and Claw, jumping across limbs to stalk my prey but these trees seemed to tower over me. They seemed to say 'This is peace. Do not disturb it or else'. I took the hint that the elves wouldn't take kindly to strangers digging daggers into trees to scale them roughly for killing's sake. Mearrokko, like the trees, also seemed much calmer and even more relaxed as we strolled through the Elvish woods. From what Shalen taught me about elves, I knew they were very connected with the natural world and with animals themselves but I never believed just the presence of them could do such a thing!

If the serenity of the forest wasn't enough, then the city of Rivendell took my breath away. The structure of each building and each pillar was so intricate, representing the beauty of the surrounding foliage. The pointy-eared people matched the beauty itself, looking content and one with the nature around them. Their little city didn't seem like a city but rather the forest bending into the shape of a settlement for its companions. Not one edifice seemed to be disrupting the peace of the woods in any way.

"Miss,"

"Huh?" I snapped out of my poetic day dream.

I realized I had zoned out for a while and was now standing in the entrance to Rivendell. I dismounted my horse to meet an Elvish girl wish auburn hair. Despite all the bad things Shalen had muttered about elves under her breath, so far they seemed pretty nice (little did I know what was coming)!

"You must be Shalen, I was informed you were arriving to redeem your horse," she said in a friendly voice.

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><p><strong>R+R please!<strong>


	3. Immortal Snobs

**Just couldn't resist to upload chapter 3 so quickly! The adventure and conflict start now! Also, shout out to LadyThunderstorm, a first time reviewer.**

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><p>"Oh no, I'm her…messenger, Calen," I said, handing her a piece of parchment, "Here's a signed letter from Shalen though,"<p>

The girl looked over the paper for a few moments before nodding, "Come with me,"

By telling her I was some messenger seemed to have made her colder towards me. Perhaps a bit suspicious.

As I led Mearrokko with me, I noticed the tranquility of the Elven city was not at its best. I could tell peace was trying to be maintained but there was a look of urgency in some faces and others walked in a quickened pace. I couldn't help but think of the dark riders I had seen earlier.

"I am Kireth, by the way," the girl said, "I am the horse master of the Rivendell stables,"

"You look after the horses by yourself?" I asked looking at the large stables as it came into view.

"No, but I am the best at communicating with the creatures," she explained, "And anything I say goes, goes in the stables,"

Kireth seemed to know she had power over her little domain of horses and she definitely let it show. As we entered the stables, all the stable hands snapped to attention. Even their usual Elvish calmness was completely shattered as Kireth walked past them all, eyeing each one. Mearrokko was led off by one of them, and he seemed very content to be with a race that knew how to communicate with him so well. Finally, Kireth led me to a stall at the end of the row, with a white horse spotted in brown in it.

"Here, the offspring of Vayla," Kireth said, gesturing to the young horse.

"Vayla?" I repeated as I studied the filly.

The elf only looked at me strangely and said, "Vayla, Shalen's horse that she sent to us for breeding,"

"Oh, so that's what she named it," I shrugged, "Well Vayla's daughter is quite a healthy horse,"

"Yes…" Kireth mumbled, looking me over with a cynical look on her face.

I just looked at her awkwardly, not sure what to say because I had no idea as to why I seemed so suspicious to her.

"Um…well, I guess I'll just be taking Shalen's horse," I said carefully.

"Uh, n-no," Kireth said hastily then paused, "…It's not safe to be on the roads at night,"

"Oh, that's right," I said, looking out a window, noticing how the sun had almost departed from the sky.

"Wait here, I'll see to it you have a room prepared," Kireth said and rushed off.

So far, the elves had proven to be quite friendly, despite what Shalen had told me. As I waited, I looked down at the little grey filly. It looked back up at me with huge, wondrous eyes. The horses that were in Rivendell seemed to have a much more human-like feel to them, as if they could understand human emotions. Probably the elves' ability to interact with animals. So I just stood there, watching the filly…and I stood there, and stood there. Wait, how long had I been standing there?! I snapped to and noticed the crescent moon out the stable window, realizing how late it had gotten. The stable had also cleared out, leaving me all alone with the horses and even the urgent feel I had felt before had died down. But where was Kireth?

**Grab. **A firm hand was placed on my shoulder, making me whirl around in surprise.

Two Elven soldiers, bows in hand, stood before me, looking rather official and stoic.

"Come with us," One said.

"Why?" I asked defensively, feeling for Tooth and Claw, only to remember that they were in Mearrokko's saddle bag.

The one only responded by yanking me out of the stables and leading me into the heart of the city.

"What do you think…" I tried to say as they pushed me through the quiet streets.

"You speak when spoken to," one of the soldiers said, cutting me off.

"Well you did just speak to me," I sassed only to feel a firm knee hit my spine.

"It'll be an arrow that hits you next time," he said stridently.

_You were right, Shalen. _I thought in misery. _Elves are just immortal snobs._

Still completely confused about the whole situation, I was led down into a dark room where I was shoved down onto my knees before a much more authoritative looking elf, he was probably a general. Instead of speaking (I learned my lesson), I just stared at the new elf maliciously.

"Is this the girl you spoke of, Kireth?" the elf asked as another elf stepped out of the shadows.

Kireth.

"Yes," she said, looking me over.

I only looked at her in shock and offense, I had really thought that she was a friend!

"You're not very good at lying," the elf general said in disgust as he looked down on me.

"What?!" I asked in bewilderment.

"Forgery in an attempt to take a girl's well-earned horse," the general said, pulling out the message Shalen had given me, "You didn't even know the name of the filly's mother, how could you possibly be a 'messenger' sent by Shalen,"

"Shalen never told be the horse's name!" I tried to explain.

He only ignored me and continued on, "The attempted horse theft, however, would pale in comparison to your next crime,"

_There's more!? _I thought.

"We found these in your horse's saddle bag," he said, pulling my Elvish gloves from the shadows.

I heard one of the guards that held me down gasp.

"Tooth and Claw," I breathed, "Those are mine!"

"They never were," the general hissed at me, making me flinch, "These were Lord Elrond's two years ago, priceless antiques, until they were stolen by someone who was never seen. A thief so stealthy that no one knew what he looked like…or she. We never thought the More aiwe (Elvish for black bird) would be so stupid as to walk right into Rivendell, practically offering herself up,"

"Why do you call me a black bird?" I asked.

I was responded to with a harsh slap on the face, making me head spin! All I wanted was to pick up a horse and go home! How did I end up in such an awful place?!

"Do not play dumb, More Aiwe, or as you more commonly known, The Raven," the general shouted, "You have stolen from far too many Elvish lords and you've given Rohan many visits as well! Now you will end here in Rivendell!"

"Please, just listen…" I began to say to tell them my story of amnesia.

"After the council, Lord Elrond will decide your execution date," he said with a raised voice, cutting me off.

"You're going to kill me?!" I whispered in shock, feeling tears come to my eyes.

He only scowled at me and gestured for them to take me away. Despite the fairness of the city of Rivendell the small dungeons were like rat holes. They looked hardly used and had tons of spiders scaling the walls. I sat at the tiny window of my cell, trying to come to terms with what I had just heard.

Shalen had told me that I was executed for thievery in her town but I didn't know I was such a legendary thief! I had no clue that I was once an enigma to Middle Earth known as The Raven, a burglar so sneaky that no one had ever caught her in the act. It seemed so strange that such a ruthless, independent outlaw had just woken up one day as helpless little Calen, without a clue in the world. At least I knew where I got my acrobatics and Elvish gloves from. I remembered the first day that I discovered my talent, how the earth asked me to use it as my resource. It was only then, sitting in that cold jail, that I realized that is the way nature calls to a thief.

It says shamelessly, 'come and use me', 'be my master', 'take whatever you want', and 'regret nothing'. Hugging my knees to my chest, I put my head down and started crying, thinking of my imminent death. Half of me wanted to accept my execution, knowing that I still had yet to pay my ultimate price to the elves, but another half (my thief half) said, 'Run! Look for a way out!' Two voices were screaming in my head!

'Run!'

'Die!'

'Run!'

'Die!'

I stayed this way the whole night, hearing the voices rage on, wondering which path I would choose.

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><p><strong>R+R! In the next chapter, she meets the Fellowship!<strong>


	4. Caught

**For some reason, didn't update my story to the top of the list when I posted chapter 3. Hopefully this will work.**

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><p>Run. That was the path I chose. I guess I just couldn't shake my thief instinct. By the time the sun had barely poked its head up, I was already frantically surveying my surroundings, looking for something to say 'use me'. I had already seen that the barred window was too small to squeeze through and that a guard was stationed around a corner, judging by the shadow cast on the wall. Finally, a little bird landed outside my cell window, pecking at the stone. This time, it spoke to me. Viciously, I grabbed the bird as it squawked and I plucked a feather the size of my finger from its wing. Screeching for its life, it wriggled its way from my grasp and flew out the window in a flurry of feathers!<p>

Carefully, I began to fiddle with the lock and feather, gingerly listening to the tumblers in the lock. Click, click, click, click, **click.** The door slowly opened with a creak and I made sure to keep an eye on the guard's shadow. Luckily, it remained motionless. The thief instinct did not leave me, it kept urging me on to escape as I tiptoed through the prison halls. I finally found my things stowed away in a little trunk by a window and I quickly slapped them on: my cloak and hood and Tooth and Claw were what I missed most. Unsheathing my gloves' curved blades and putting my hood up, I readied myself for a desperate escape.

With the wings of a crow at my feet, I leapt from the window and landed silently on a roof parallel from where I jumped. As I snuck across the rooftop, I looked down below, and luckily something was distracting everybody from my escape. It seemed that a group of nine very different individuals was leaving Rivendell and judging by the crowds, they looked to be very important. One looked like a wise wizard, two of them were men, another was an elf, another a dwarf, and the rest were little people. At the time I shrugged the four off as midgets because who has time to analyze a new species when you're trying to escape almost inevitable death? Without another thought, I flew from the roof and let myself fall until I felt Tooth and Claw dig into a column. Climbing it as fast as I could, I soon reached the top and sidled my way over to the next one.

From there, I could just barely leap to the wall where I could make a run for it. With a bit of difficulty on the smooth walls (seriously there were barely any stones jutting out for me to grab onto, you'd think the elves strive for perfect architecture! Oh wait…) and pulled myself to the top. Big mistake: there were at least four Elven guards posted up there. Thankfully, they were focusing on the leaving party, whoever they were, and without hesitation, I did a quick roll to the end of the wall and took a jump! Unsheathing Tooth and Claw and letting them dig into a tree, I let myself slide to the bottom and breathe. I had to keep my labored breaths quiet though as the group of nine was passing by. I hadn't the slightest clue as to who they were but I did know one thing. Out of all the things I had heard, of all the things I had seen that called to my thieving mind, one called the loudest. It said, 'Use me and you will need to use no other. I am the ultimate power, the one that rules them all.' How could I, with the mind of a burglar resist such a call?

Creeping through the forest after them, I started my journey. It took me until sun down, when we had left Rivendell far behind that I realized what I was doing! Here I was, following nine complete strangers just because I heard a call! How insane was that?! If I got caught, how would I explain it?! But when that strange power called me, all time seemed to pass and the darkest part of my instinctive mind took over. The strongest part of The Raven inside just took control and brought out every agile skill I could think of. Whatever it would take to get that power. Once again, I had let time slip by and the next thing I knew, it was night. I snapped out of my comatose state of greed (What was causing me to hunt them like a corrupt beast?) and surveyed my surroundings as I always did. The group was asleep, all but one who stood watch: the elf. Trying to keep my breathing quiet, I looked for a better place to hide. Knowing the impeccable senses of elves, I would easily be caught if I didn't find a better hiding spot. A little hole between some roots spoke to me the most and I dove into that. Finally, I let reality reach me and I remembered. I was now a wanted outlaw to the elves! I could try to make it back to my village but by now they would've discovered I was missing and I believed the first place to look would be my village. I also remembered that I had left poor Mearrokko in the hands of those elves and I shuddered at the thought of him being auctioned off as 'The Horse of The Legendary Raven'. And I would be lucky if I ever got to see my beloved Shalen ever again.

I can say this, I had not expected to end up in such a pitiful state when I was sent out to retrieve a horse. That night, I slept with one eye open, my avarice for the mysterious power keeping me from resting in full. From there, I trailed the group through the forest and into rugged terrain with wide open spaces. This made it very hard to stay under cover but somehow I managed. I followed them past ruins of old but my stealth could not protect me forever. It was in broad daylight when the travelers were passing by cliff, overlooking the valleys below. I thought that the numerous shrubs and rocks were enough to hide me but I was unaware that the strange power was pulling me dangerously close to them, alerting the one with the sharpest of ears. How could I have not noticed that the pointy-eared one wasn't in the group anymore? How did I not hear the fox-like steps that slowly inched closer to me?! How could I have been so foolish?!

**GRAB. **A firm hand fell upon my shoulder and shoved me to the ground! I let out a grunt as a foot was placed firmly on my stomach which reminded me of my first morning after waking up. After a second of trying to focus again, I saw an arrow just above my face and to my left, a sword pointed for my neck. I followed the arrow to a bow which led to the long arms of an elf. Like most of his kind, his hair was long, blonde, and braided slightly. When I followed the sword at my neck, it met the sturdy arms of a man with a face that seemed rugged yet important. His long black hair made it look like he had lived in the wilds for so long but something in his eyes told me that he was meant for something much greater.

"I felt someone following us since we began this journey," the elf said harshly to the man.

"Who are you?" the man asked demandingly.

I considered using Tooth and Claw to wriggle out but I knew they would kill me in an instant of trying. Besides, Tooth and Claw spoke for me and when the two saw them, their eyes froze.

"Where did you get those?" the man asked, entranced by my Elvish gloves.

"The Raven…" the elf breathed.

_Great. Now they know who I am. _I thought. _How could I have been so stupid as to think that I could leave my identity behind?! Certainly people would recognize me, The Raven, by Tooth and Claw, priceless antiques stolen right from under Rivendell's nose! Then again, I can't just get rid of these gloves, they speak to me and are my best weapon._

"I would've never guessed that the legendary thief who stole more treasures to feed a colony to be a woman," the man said in disgust, "Nor that she would be caught so easily. Why did you follow us?"

I looked to the elf and back to the man, looking for any slight weakness that spoke to me. Even the others who were now watching didn't speak to me either, except for one. One of the little people, with a chain around his neck. Whatever hung from that chain was the thing that called me. Now it was shouting louder than ever, 'I am your greatest resource. With me, you can become the Raven Queen. Use me.'

"Answer me!" the man shouted, moving his sword closer to my neck and snapping me out of my trance.

"Something of great power called me," I said simply.

At this, the elf and the man exchanged glances and the little person moved his hand up to the chain around his neck.

"Of course they would send a thief to retrieve the ring," the elf scoffed.

"Who's 'they'?" I asked.

The elf looked back to the man. The man nodded and I felt the elf's foot come off of me and I was free to get up. Cautiously, the man lowered his sword and the elf did the same with his bow.

"Do not think of running yet, thief," the man said, "This is Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood and he can shoot down a sparrow from miles away. You'll be no different than shooting a naked turtle,"

I looked at the blonde elf who returned my glance with a menacing glare.

"Tell Sauron that no matter what he does to try and stop us, the ring will stay with us and will be brought to Mount Doom, even if he sends one thousand thieves," the man said, "And we'll be having those antiques back, they belong to the elves,"

I just stared at them all with a desperate and miserable look, the kind that you have when you have a really bad day. Running wouldn't do me any good with princey pants to shoot me down so I was left with giving up my best resources and retreating. How could I give up Tooth and Claw? Besides Mearrokko, they were the only things left from my past; even if my past was a disgraceful one.

"Amnesia," I mumbled with a cracking voice as I took my gloves off.

The two looked at me strangely as if they didn't quite hear.

"What?" the man asked.

"Who the hell is Sauron!?" I yelled as I threw down my gloves, "Up until now, I didn't know of a place called Mount Doom! You ever just, wake up and forget EVERYTHING! Then all of a sudden everyone's at your throat saying, 'By the stars, she's a wanted thief, kill her eight times over!' Ask me ONE thing that The Raven did and I swear I won't have the slightest idea!"

Everyone in the group seemed to be taken aback by my outburst or tantrum if you want to call it that. For a few moments, all was quiet and everyone kept their eyes on me, not knowing what to say.

"What did The Raven leave behind after every heist?" one of the little people asked, stepping forward. It was the same one that the strange power emanated from.

"I left things behind?" I asked exasperatedly, "Why would a thief do that, isn't that evidence?!"

"She could be lying," the man whispered to the elf.

"She's not," the little person said, coming closer to me, despite the protests of the others.

He looked up at me with small eyes of understanding and I looked back. Besides Shalen who I could sadly, hardly remember, they were the first compassionate eyes I had seen in a long time.

"I really think she does not remember. One would not blindly follow after this…," he said, pulling the chain out from under his jacket, revealing a ring, "…If she wasn't lost. She doesn't know where to go,"

For some reason, his kindness made me slightly look past this so called 'ring' that they had mentioned. Although it still called to me now that it was directly before me, the kindness helped me fight it.

"Frodo!" the man hissed, "It is not wise to dangle something so precious before a thief!"

Shakily, I rose my hand up to the Frodo's hand and slowly moved it down, bringing the ring out of my sight. If I was going to have any chance of getting away, I'd need to prove my resistance to the power of the ring. Finally, he put the ring back under his jacket, leaving only the chain showing around his neck.

"I'm sorry I followed you here," I breathed, "I'll just…"

"As a debt to the elves and your forgotten years of crime, you will travel with us in the mission of destroying the one ring," he announced.

"What?" I breathed again.

"What do you think you're doing?!" the man called to him.

"I believe she doesn't remember anything, The Raven wouldn't be this obvious if she hadn't," Frodo replied, turning to the group, "And if she truly has forgotten then she is lost. This journey may help her find herself,"

I just looked at the short person in awe. Since I had gotten to Rivendell, no one bothered to give me a chance!

"Besides she has to repay her debt," he continued but I could tell that was only an excuse to have me come.

Just then, the three other little people ran up to Frodo, backing him up.

"What the Ring Bearer says goes, goes," one said defensively.

"And I think it would be rather fascinating having a legendary thief in the group," said another excitedly, "We even heard of her in the Shire!"

_Shire? _I thought, racking my mind to see if I had ever heard of such a place before. _Oh yes! I remember Shalen showing it to me on a map when she retaught me about Middle Earth. She barely mentioned it, saying little people called 'Hobbits' lived there…_

"Gandalf, you cannot possibly allow this," the man said desperately, turning to a grey wizard.

"The Ring Bearer has made his decision," he said with a smug smile, "And I happen to know amnesia when I see it,"

I smiled back at the old man, Gandalf. I already liked him.

Another man in the group with short brown hair and important looking status seemed to open his mouth but a dwarf shot him a look.

"As Gandalf said, the Ring Bearer has made his choice," he said stubbornly.

Whatever this 'ring' was, it seemed to give a lot of power to the little hobbit. I assumed it was a good thing that he had taken a liking to me.

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><p><strong>Next time, we get some Crebain!<strong>


	5. Raven's Name

**Sorry for inactivity. R&R**

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><p>"And what is the name of the legendary Raven?" a voice called.<p>

"Hm?" I snapped to after being deep in thought about my newly found companions.

We had been walking for about a mile by then and someone had finally decided to approach me. The voice had been the man's who had put a sword to my throat just a moment ago and now he was questioning me like an old friend.

"I honestly don't remember if I had one, but I call myself Calen," I replied, "But I hardly know any of your names,"

Many of the travelers including the elf, dwarf, and the men exchanged glances of concern. What was I going to do? Steal their names? However, the little hobbits were eager to give their names to a legend.

"Peregrin Took!" one piped up, "Or you could call me Pippin if you like,"

"Meriadoc Brandybuck," another chirped up at me, "Or Merry,"

"And I'm Samwise Gamgee but of course Sam is alright too," another said.

The one called Sam seemed to look at me in awe more than the others as if legends were what intrigued him the most.

"You already know my name but I don't believe I've properly introduced myself," Frodo said with a smile, "Frodo Baggins,"

"So you're all hobbits? This is the first time I've seen such a creature of…" I stopped trying to find the right words, "…shortness and stubbornness,"

The four laughed at this, making me smile for a change.

"I believe you are overlooking another _short _and _stubborn _race," a low and gruff voice spoke up.

I looked over to see a dwarf, red beard and a giant axe, staring right at me.

"And you are?" I asked him smugly.

"Gimli, son of Gloin," he announced proudly, "And I do not recall a legendary thief known as The Raven,"

"The Raven was far too clever to rob the dwarves," the black-haired man laughed, "No one would ever dare to try it, not even her."

_Sounds about right. _I thought, remembering what Shalen had taught me of dwarves.

"Then she is no legend to me," Gimli laughed making me stifle a laugh of my own.

Then a soft hand was placed on my shoulder and turned to see the old wizard.

"Gandalf the Grey," he said simply yet with kindness in his eyes.

Now, one of the men had started warming up to me, and he too decided to give me is name.

"I am Aragorn," he said with a slight smile, still giving away that there was more to him than meets the eye.

Well I had gotten seven out of the way and that left the only two who still showed suspicion: the prince and the other man. The elf just kept walking, not looking back at me and I believed it was because he had already been introduced to me…well as the elf who would shoot me down if I tried to run. Just one more now.

"Boromir," the last man said and that was all.

I could tell we would not be getting along on this mission. Now all that was left was to figure out what the mission was all about!

"So…what is this mission we're going on and what is the 'ring'?" I asked awkwardly, fumbling with Tooth and Claw.

Everyone turned to me with surprise in their eyes, even the stoic elf and the calm wizard.

"You mean to tell us that you do not know of the Ring of Power, the One to Rule them All?" Boromir asked in shock.

"I woke up a few months ago without a clue in the world, I barely knew what elves or dwarves were," I sighed.

Thus, Gandalf launched into the history of the one ring. How it was forged in Mount Doom and caused one of the greatest wars in all of Middle Earth. I was told how it could corrupt people so easily which explained how it called to me and of our mission to destroy it once and for all. By the time I was well informed on the history of Sauron, we were setting up camp for the night. When the question was asked as to who would take watch, I considered volunteering but I knew none of them would sleep if they had a strange thief guarding them in the night. So Aragorn to the watch while laid down for some well-deserved rest and for once in a long time, slept with both eyes closed.

We traveled on after that, the hobbits telling me of the legends they had heard of me which of course I couldn't recall. According to them, I had once stolen six of Gondor's best horses without a trace but my signature raven feather left behind. As they tried to jog my memory I noticed the same two people were still as cold as ever towards me. Whenever I wasn't looking, I could feel one of them watching me. As we traveled on however, Boromir became more and more taken by the ring's call and began to forget about me. However, the elf did not and it made me uneasy just to be around him. Speaking of the ring, it still called to me but by walking so close to Frodo, I learned to resist it a little better, trying to concentrate on the ring bearer rather than the ring itself.

By walking with Frodo and his the little friends, I learned more about the Shire and it seemed like quite a pleasant place to settle down. This dream was soon wiped away when they told me most hobbits' wariness around 'big folk'. At one point, the wizard decided we should stop so that he could plan out the rest of our journey, we needed a good break anyway. I sat with Frodo in Sam as we watched Boromir give Merry and Pippin lesson in sword fighting. All the while I listened in on the conversation Gandalf was having with Legolas and Gimli. Any conversation that elf was in I had to listen to, I couldn't let my guard down around him.

"We must hold this course west towards the Misty Mountains for forty days," Gandalf said, making me shudder at the thought of forty days under the annoying eyes of the prince, "If our luck holds, the gap of Rohan will still be open to us. From there our road turns east to Mordor,"

It sounded like Gandalf had a solid plan but I soon heard Gimli speak up with an idea of his own.

"If anyone was asking me opinion, I'd say we were taking the long way 'round," he protested to the wizard, "Gandalf, we could pass through the Mines of Moria,"

That made me shudder. Shalen had taught me about the mines and how the dwarves went to take it back but there was never a word if they had won or not. It was a rather simple summary of its history but it was all I could learn in such a short amount of time before going to Rivendell and being imprisoned by immortals! I also felt an itch in my brain that seemed to itch more and more at the thought of a Dwarven mine: so much precious ore, gold, silver…

_Snap out of it! _I thought horridly. _I need to keep my thief senses in check!_

"No, Gimli. I would not take the path through Moria unless I had no other choice," Gandalf replied gravely.

Just then, Boromir swung his sword too sharp and hit one of the hobbits by a hair. At that, Merry and Pippin clobbered him playfully as they all laughed. I couldn't help but giggle at this myself and when Aragorn tried to intervene, the two little people gave him the same treatment! All was fine until everyone turned to a strange cloud in the distance.

"What is that?" I asked.

"Nothing it's just a whistle of clouds," Gimli shrugged it off.

_Something tells me that's more than just a cloud. I don't think they usually move that fast…nor do they have tiny wings inside them…_

"Crebain from Dunland!" Legolas shouted.

I had no idea what Crebain were but judging by Aragorn's order to 'hide!' they seemed like unfriendly creatures. A little nook between two rocks told me to use it so I squeezed in as far as I could until I couldn't be seen. A second of quiet passed before the flock of black birds swarmed around the area. Their squawks and screeches were disgusting and made my ears ring as they circled around us. Wings flapped in every direction but they didn't seem to see me as they flew past my crevice. A soon as they came, they were gone, and everyone slowly emerged from their hiding places.

"Spies from Sarumon," Gandalf spat, "Our passage south is being watched,"

And by the time I was taught who Sarumon was, we were already heading for a different route, up a chilly path.

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><p><strong>Just a chance for Calen to introduce herself to the Fellowship. Next chapter, they go into the Mines!<strong>


	6. Into the Mines

**Get ready for some cute ship moments in this chapter**

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><p>The higher we went, the colder it got and wasn't accustom to such freezing temperatures. Finally the hobbits could barely get through the snow and I was wading up to my shins. At one point, I found myself towards the back with the elf. Silence kept us from bickering but I started to notice him glancing at my gloves from time to time.<p>

"What is it?" I finally asked in an annoyed tone.

"It is nothing," he replied coldly.

"Good. If it's nothing then maybe you can stop staring at Tooth and Claw," I sassed.

"You talk as if they are your own," he shot back.

I wasn't quite sure how to react to that. They were indeed not mine but yet I didn't want to let them go. They were all I had left now that Mearrokko was gone.

"They _are,_" I dared to say and he looked at me with fury in his eyes so I decided to rephrase, "…all I have left,"

"I should think you would want to forget about your past. It is a dangerous one," he said carefully as his hand moved closer to claw.

I drew Claw before his face, almost unsheathing him but I thought better of it. However, the elf had seen enough, I was still a thief who wouldn't let go of her precious treasure. He just looked at me as if to say 'I'm watching you' and then headed to the front of the group.

I had no more encounters with him but soon Legolas became the least of my worries. The clear skies turned to grey ones and we were suddenly wading knee-deep in snow as a blizzard raged around us. The hobbits could barely stay above the snow and Gimi was just as bad off. I seethed in jealousy as Legolas easily walked on top of the snow while I trudged along. It took me a while before I noticed he was giving me a strange look and kept glancing down at my feet. When I followed his gaze to my feet, I saw that they were above the snow as well. It seemed that my Elvish dexterity also let me walk upon snow. The prince's face was priceless as I walked with ease through the blizzard as he did.

Can't blame him, a human girl walking like an elf.

_Ha, he hasn't even seen me when I run. _I smirked.

We all believed the snow storm would pass but it kept coming and then we realized, it was not a natural phenomenon.

"There is a fell voice on the air," Legolas called over the storm.

I could hear it too but just barely. It sounded like some kind of incantation, something that egged the storm on.

"IT'S SARUMON!" Gandalf shouted.

Just after he yelled, there was a large CRACK from above and we looked up to see boulders of snow and rock heading for our path. They barely skimmed past us, making us all jump back and duck in fright.

"He's trying to bring down the mountain, Gandalf!" Aragorn called, "We must turn back!"

"NO!" Gandalf resisted as he tried to carry on.

The voice carried on, making the wind harsher and the snow colder. Finally Gandalf tried his own sort of chant to counter Sarumon's spell but it only seemed to make the White Wizard more determined! Then, when the chanting became its loudest, lightning struck from above, causing snow and ice to topple down! I watched in horror as the cold quickly took me and the rest and we were buried under the frigidness of Sarumon's hatred. More of it fell, pounding away at me until I could breathe no more.

_I am not dying AGAIN! _I thought and began to fight my way out.

My body fought the numbness trying to consume me as I dug through the many layers of white above me.

_AIR! AIR! _I thought as I felt my lungs burned for fresh wind (Even if that wind was a biting one)!

As my hand shot through the last layer, a hand grabbed mine and pulled me out from under the snow. I looked up after a few heaving breaths to see Aragorn who was now trying to get the hobbits unburied. When we had all clambered out from under the avalanche, the ever common debate began again!

"We must get off the mountain!" Boromir shouted to Gandalf who was still digging himself out, "We can take the Gap of Rohan!"

"The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard!" Aragorn shouted back.

"If we cannot pass over the mountain, let us go under it!" Gimli suggested for the hundredth time, "Let us go through the Mines of Moria!"

Gandalf only looked into the distance, desperate for another way. After a silence filled with howling wind, he spoke.

"Let the Ring Bearer decide,"

"We will go through the mines," Frodo finally said, deciding and sealing Gandalf's fate.

It was back down the mountain for us. Back through snow and cold but I guess it could've been worse: we could've all died in Sarumon's blizzard. The days it took to get from the peak of the mountain to the mines were silent. Everyone seemed spent from the storm and even hopeless, as if the mines weren't safe. Most of all Gandalf, he had a look of doom painted on his face for some reason. I was led to believe that the dwarves had taken back Moria…unless…

"The walls of Moria!" Gimli exclaimed at the sight of craggy cliff.

They were very impressive and I couldn't even see the top of them! But…was there a door? That question was soon answered.

"Dwarf doors are invisible," Gimli explained as we searched the walls for this hidden entrance.

"Their masters cannot find them if their secrets are forgotten," Gandalf sighed in annoyance as he continued to tap the walls with his staff.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Legolas murmured, getting an irritated growl from Gimli.

_That was uncalled for. _I thought. _Even if elves and dwarves hate each other, that was still unnecessary!_

I would've given the elf a death glare but he was in front of me which tempted me more to just stab into his spine. Going through an underground space with an annoying elf would be the death of me! Eventually the wall led us to a murky lake and it was before that unsettling lake that Gandalf found the door. The stone glowed, revealing an intricate pattern of trees and above them was Elvish read the Elvish aloud, 'Speak friend and enter'.

"What does that mean?" Merry asked with a confused face.

"Well it's very simple, if you are a friend, you speak the password and then you enter," Gandalf said simply.

_Wise old man. _I thought slyly.

He put his tangled staff to the door and spoke a few Elvish words…

…_Well maybe not that wise…_

He tried once again…

…

In a sudden frustration, the old man tried to push the door open as a last resort. But of course, the Dwarvish door wouldn't open through mere force.

"What are you going to do now?" Pippin asked.

"Knock your head against it!" Gandalf snapped at the hobbit, making me stifle a laugh.

"And then we'll try you!" Gandalf snapped at me as well, "You have a debt to pay so pay it by keeping quiet!"

I muffled my laughing and nodded, realizing how angry a wizard must feel when his wits aren't enough to aid him. So we all got comfortable because we would be there for quite a while as Gandalf tried every spell he ever knew!

"I do not like this…" I whispered to myself as I watched the water.

"You will once get inside," Gimli chuckled, "We will all be welcomed heartily by my kin!"

"Not the mines, the water," I replied, scanning the ripples on the surface.

Aragorn sensed it too as he ceased Merry and Pippin from throwing rocks into the lake. Something about it called to me but it a different way. It said 'use me' but I couldn't use a lake, it was almost as if it were calling me into a trap.

"I feel it too," Legolas said as he stared out on the water.

Finally we heard Frodo speak up.

"It's a riddle…what's the Elvish word for friend?"

"Mellon," Gandalf spoke and a rumbling came from the doors.

Slowly, they opened revealing the darkness of the mines but I could barely focus on that. The water grew more and more restless: something was in there and it didn't want us in its territory. As we entered Gimli was rambling to us about the Dwarven hospitality but I could barely hear. Now my worries had shifted from the lake to the ground beneath us. Every so often, I'd feel a faint crunch under my feet, something that sounded of bone. When Gandalf lit his staff, I could confirm my suspicions.

"They're all dead," I breathed.

It was then that the rest of the Fellowship noticed the bodies, Gimli being effected the most. He was grief-stricken to see his kind's skeletons lying with mouths agape on the mine floor. They looked very old so it was safe to guess they had lost to a greater power long ago. Legolas yanked out an arrow from one of the ancient bodies and immediately recognized the craftsmanship.

"Goblins," he scoffed, making us all draw our weapons.

"We never should've come here," Borimir said as we slowly backed out of the mines, "We make for the Gap of Rohan. GET OUT!"

We would've made a clean escape if it weren't for the beast that awakened from the water.

"Strider!" Sam called making us all turn to see Frodo being dragged off by a large, wet tentacle.

"I knew it," I hissed.

Sam severed the tentacle as quickly as he could and the tentacle retreated into the water. But there was more where that came from. At least a dozen or more shot out from the water, seizing Frodo! I followed Aragorn and Borimir into the water to cut down the tentacles and I unsheathed my gloves as far as they could go, making my claws as long as half of a short sword. The three of us sliced away at the creature, Tooth and Claw sliced straight through the whip like arms as I tried to inch closer to Frodo. At last, the beast's head emerged and it opened its fang-filled mouth to swallow the Ring Bearer. If that thing ate him, the ring would be lost in the belly of an octopus!

Aragorn sliced the tentacle that held Frodo and Borimir was there to catch the little hobbit.

"Into the mines!" Gandalf shouted and we all made for the door.

Legolas shot the animal once more, keeping it at bay for a split second. Still, it was long enough for us all to make it in! He wasn't moving with us and I grabbed the back of his collar, yanking him in and taking him by surprise. The beast's many arms banged against the walls, shaking the ground and making us run faster. Finally, the ceiling above caved in behind us, saving us from a watery demise but locking us in the darkness of Moria. When the last boulder fell, blocking the moonlight, there was a sudden darkness and we all stood there, breathing heavily.

"We have now but one choice," Gandalf said, making a light with his staff.

When it illuminated the cavern, I noticed a hand on my shoulder that I followed to Legolas who stood behind me. I turned to him to see a terrified look on his face then when his eyes met mine, he quickly removed his hand. I couldn't even roll my eyes because I looked at him with the same scared expression.

"We must travel through the mines of Moria," Gandalf continued, making us break eye contact, "Be careful, there are fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world…"

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><p><strong>Please review (unless you didn't like it of course...)<strong>

**Next chapter, we get to see some mithril!**


	7. The Killer Within

**Thanks to TwistedTongues for their constructive criticism, it rly helped ^^**

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><p>It would be a four day journey to the other side and the atmosphere didn't help our spirits either. Every one great bridge or staircase was eroded away into rugged masses of stone and where there should've been the lights of dwarves, was darkness. As I walked, everything spoke to me at once. Even the things that I couldn't see wanted me to use them as a climbing tool. They all told me how vast the mines really were and I soon felt my head ache from all the voices in my head.<p>

"The wealth of Moria did not come from gold, silver, or jewels," Gandalf explained to the party, stopping the voices, "But in Mithril,"

We all looked down to see a bottomless pit filled with mining equipment that had been abandoned. Now the rocks, the dangling hooks and chains, the jutting pieces of wood, and now the call of the mithril made my thief head spin. It all shouted at once 'USE US!' I let my green eyes be absorbed by the greed to use it all and to survey every crevice for left over mithril. There was so much that wanted me to use it, too much, I had to use it all. Even if it killed…

**SNAP**. I blinked back to reality with a gasp, seeing that a hand had snapped before me. Turning, I saw that the group had moved on and Borimir stood next to me with a cynical look. He just kept staring with every bit of doubt and suspicion. I had let my thieving mind show weakness and now he suspected me now more than ever. Not only would I have to survive a vexing elf but also a suspicious man of Gondor too. He watched me as I hurried to catch up with the others and carefully followed behind. We continued our climb through Moria, stumbling over dead corpses and past more bottomless pits.

I tried my very hardest to keep looking at the path ahead of me and not at my surroundings. It was not the ring that called me this time but every bit of my body was telling me to leap to rock, snatch up some remaining mithril and bound through the endless halls. Eventually, we reached a fork in the tunnel and Gandalf had paused between the two paths.

"I have no memory of this place," he murmured, making us all concerned.

Well I hope you're ready for more waiting because that's what happened. Gandalf set his mind to the task of remembering while we sat around. I decided to isolate myself on a rock overlooking the pit below us but I turned from it and instead stared at the wall behind me. Shutting my eyes and rubbing my temples, I tried to shut the voices in my head up, to put away the way The Raven that would tell me to run and steal all I could. As I muttered to myself to replace the voices with words of my own, I sensed a presence behind me. I turned to see the familiar face of Borimir, looking at me gravely.

"You're slipping, thief," he said darkly.

"So are you," I whispered with a scared look in my eye, afraid the voices would return, "The ring calls to you,"

"Do not pretend it does not do the same to you," he retorted.

I only looked away, shutting my eyes in fear, "The mines are doing much more to me now. You're right I am slipping. It's hard to fight the thief inside, to fight the urge to hide away deep in the mines like any thief would,"

"Then I will see that you leave us when we make it out of the mines," he said sharply, making me look back to him in shock, "You have repaid your debt by now and when we reach the outside, I'll see to it that you return the gloves and leave,"

With that he left me in my sad state. It then occurred to me that I was afraid to leave the Fellowship. They all helped me forget who I once was and up until the mines, The Raven's instincts were weak in my mind and they hardly governed me. How could I leave and have The Raven come back?

"Oh! It's that way!" Gandalf exclaimed.

"He's remembered!" Merry said happily as we all rose.

Shakily I got to my feet, trying to hide any signs of weakness to avoid any more suspicion.

"No, but the air doesn't smell so foul down here," Gandalf chuckled as he began to make for the passage, "If you doubt at all, always follow your nose,"

I followed the group down the stairs and I began to notice the voices leaving me. There were fewer mithril veins and the rocks were less disordered.

"Behold the great Dwarf city of Dwellerdelf," Gandalf announced as we entered the halls

Now I was simply awe stricken, nothing spoke to me in anyway of greed. The halls stretched on for miles and there was nothing that could make me slip, everything was ordered and stripped of its riches. Nothing remained to corrupt me. We roamed the halls, utterly speechless from the massive pillars and deep tunnels. It gave me a sense of clarity, finally giving me room to breathe. I noticed that Legolas was turning his head just barely to see, me giving me a more worried look than suspicious. He seemed to have noticed my mentality slipping from before. I only answered his gaze with a glare, I didn't want him at my back the rest of the way. We walked until we reached a corner with more corpses strewn about the front of a door. Gimli was quick to follow the trail of bodies into the little room, where only more deceased dwarves lay. The dwarf wailed in grief as he kneeled before a tomb in the center of the chamber.

Roughly, I could just make out the Dwarven inscription on the coffin. Most of it was unknown to me but I could just make out 'The Lord of Moria'. It was as I feared, Moria had fallen to the goblins and we were dwelling amongst them: the slayers of the dwarves. As Gimli kneeled before the tomb, Gandalf gave his hat and staff to Pippin then reached for a book in the clutches of one of the bodies. I only looked around the room, nothing but death speaking to me. None of it wanted to be used as it seemed to have been used before by the disgusting cave dwellers: the goblins. Anything they used, I had no intention of using. So instead I focused my eyes on a small opening on the wall that let in a bit of sunlight, reminding me of the outdoors. How I missed the sun on my face, the wind on my skin, and the trees beckoning me. A faint voice brought me out of my day dream.

"We must move on, we cannot linger," Legolas murmured to Aragorn.

I turned my head and met the elf's eyes who returned my stare with an unfriendly glare. Aragorn looked at me pensively, thinking of a way to move the wizard and the dwarf along. Gandalf was still reading the dusty book, his voice becoming louder as he read it.

"They have taken the bridge and the seventh hall," Gandalf read, "We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long…the ground shakes. Drums…drums in the deep…"

Gandalf's monologue was making my skin crawl and I only wished that he stop reading that ancient book so we could stop dwelling on the past! As he read, I felt every word bring something back to life, an old terror from the depths.

"We cannot get out," Gandalf continued as he flipped a page, "A shadow moves in the dark…We cannot get out…they are coming…"

By now, I felt like we were travelling through Sarumon's snow storm all over again as chills ran down my spine! All the dwarves around us died in suspense, knowing they could do nothing but make peace with themselves before the doors broke open. Just staring at the emptiness in their skulls made me think of my own death, this is what I would've become: a hollow skeleton with nothing but the memories of…

**Creeaak.**

A noise caught me off guard as I whipped my head over to where Pippin stood, the skull on a body was tipping over and then, almost in slow motion: it fell. It thumped all the way down a well and echoed throughout the mines and its body was sure to follow. The ruckus it made exploded the decrepit quiet of the caves, and the body even dragged a chain down with it, only making it worse! If that hadn't woken up some goblins, then they must've been deft creatures! We all just stood there at poor Pippin with exasperated expressions.

"Fool of a Took!" Gandalf snapped, "Throw yourself down next time and rid of us of your stupidity!"

The fuming wizard snatched his hat and staff back and it seemed that we were ready to move along when he stopped. Slowly, he turned back to the well, making us all aware of the noise that emanated from it.

Boom…boom…**boom.**

It shook the ground and I could hear far away cackles of the monsters that had been aroused. Borimir ran for the door and two arrows just missed him in greeting. Quickly, he shut them.

"Get back! Stay close to Gandalf!" Aragorn shouted at the hobbits who quickly scurried behind the old man.

I unsheathed my gloves as far as they could go and took a few steps back.

_I've come back to life, I'm apparently a legend… _I thought as I watched Legolas toss the two men old weapons to bar the door…_I escaped an Elven prison, tracked a group of nine with an elf in it for weeks undetected, and I survived a cracken, so of course I can survive a real battle! Right?_

When we all stepped back and readied ourselves for killing, I noticed how history was repeating. We were now the dwarves of Moria, barring the door in desperate attempt to prolong a battle. The rotting door rattled with many orcish hands pounding away at it. As the creatures tore open cracks in the door, Legolas and Aragorn let loose arrows through them, making our enemies shriek. The closer the door came to breaking, the more I felt my heart rise into my throat. What was just a few seconds seemed like a day to me and finally, the door fell. Fighting was something I had never experienced before and I realized the others were under the illusion that just because I was a legendary thief, I could fight! There was no way I could stand up to these hideous things, they were…

**SLICE! **Tooth cut through a neck!

**JAB! **Claw ran through a head!

Strangely enough, fighting came as easily as bounding through the forest or my home town! It seemed that I learned more of who I once was every day. I guess The Raven had quite a talent for combat! Rolling under swings and turning my head to dodge arrows, I ran through the mass of monsters, slicing open stomachs and even breaking necks with my hands! The mercenary jobs at home were nothing like this! I only tracked outlaws and led the guards to them but I had never killed before! I was almost certain that The Raven had killed, how else was I murdering orcs by the second?!

_I was once a killer AND a thief! _I thought.

My killing spree ended soon as a giant troll came lumbering through the wall! I had seen pictures but nothing could've prompted me for such a creature! However, this was not bad. It was only that I never thought I'd see such a large animal that spoke to me, one that had foot holes and places to grab onto that called to me. I could easily climb to its neck. But the beast would not just wait for me to scale it, instead it swung its arms around smashing everything including its tamers! So I waited for something good to distract it. For a while, it looked like nothing would keep the troll busy until it spotted Legolas.

_Perfect bait. _I thought with The Raven in my mind.

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><p><strong>RR**

**next time, Gandalf takes a tumble with the Balrog!**


	8. Battle on the Bridge

**On a huge inspiration rush!**

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><p>You'd think a cave troll to be as dumb as a brain dead cow and it is but unlike a cow, it has thumbs. It swung the chain that an orc once held from its neck towards Legolas. The elf easily evaded it and continued to dodge every swing the troll brought down. But there was no time to watch! I dug Tooth and Claw into its legs and scaled up its back. When I reached the top, I raised my gloves to dig into its neck when something ran into me! Whatever it was, it knocked me off the back of the troll and sent me toppling into a pile of rubble.<p>

"What were you doing?!" Legolas shouted as he pulled himself up.

"What were YOU doing?! You were supposed to be my bait!" I yelled right back.

"Bait?!" he asked with a look of wrath in his eyes then he looked up, "Move!"

I looked up too and rolled away just in time as the troll whipped his chain down again. Looks like I wasn't the only one with the idea of climbing to the neck. I didn't have the chance to try and climb the troll again as more orcs were coming at me. Now another thought was bugging me.

_I made an elf lose his balance. That's impressive._ I smiled as I hacked away at orc flesh.

Noticing the hobbits now being targeted, I tried to get to them but the orcs kept coming at me! Luckily, Aragorn was there, thrusting an ancient spear into the creature, keeping it from Frodo. The rest I could not see as the orcs around me kept me busy but when I cut down the last challenger, the scene was grave. Frodo had the spear stabbed into him and I felt my heart skip at least eight beats. The one who had allowed me to travel with him, to find myself, was going to die and I would be left without anyone to stand up for me! The rest was fought in the bur of my tears, killing as I hoped that somehow the hobbit would live!

When at last all the orcs lay dead, we focused on the troll. It threw away all who ran at it and I couldn't find a single opening. Finally, it raised its head in a roar and I watched Legolas draw his bow with expert aim and let an arrow fly. The Elven arrow shot straight into the animal's neck, making it slowly fall over like a tree being cut in the woods. It shook the ground when it fell and I'm sure Legolas would've given a remark such as 'who's bait now?' but no one could be sassy with the Ring Bearer dying in a corner. Aragorn crawled to his fallen body and I was just about to lose to the tears about to spill over when Frodo stirred. Aragorn pulled up the gasping hobbit and we all let out a silent sigh of relief. I sucked the tears back from my eyes, hoping no one had noticed.

"I'm alright," Frodo managed to say, "I'm not hurt…"

"You should be dead," Aragorn said in disbelief, "That strike was enough to skewer a wild boar!"

"I think there is more to this hobbit than meets the eye," Gandalf said wisely.

Frodo slowly unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a coat of mithril. Looks like we had both cheated death. We all stood in shock of the halfling's cleverness but it did not last. More shrieks from orcs and goblins could be heard in the distance.

"To the Bridge of Kazadum," Gandalf ordered.

The Fellowship ran for its life through the halls of Moria, running from the nearing sound of our enemies. At all sides, monsters swarmed towards us! Even from the cracks in the floor and ceiling, the came like insects flocking to honey and it came to a point when they surrounded us. We all were ready to fight again but yet we all knew that we could not win against such a sea of abominations. It really seemed like it was the end and I began to feel the longing of my own home. I missed Shalen. She would never guess that I was trapped in an ancient mine, about to be eaten by a horde of monsters!

_If only... _I thought as I moved my eyes to Legolas.

Before my absurd thought could've carried on, a rumbling growl quaked the grounds. The goblins began to whimper in fright and scramble amongst themselves. As the growling grew louder, they all retreated back into the crevices of darkness from where they came. But now we had to deal with the thing that managed to scare away an army of goblins just with its voice!

"What was that?" I whispered.

There was a long silence where we all looked to Gandalf for an answer but he only stood there, with a look of dread. He knew what was coming as the footsteps of a monster quaked the earth.

"A Balrog of the Ancient World," he replied gravely.

Once again, I had no clue what a Balrog was but judging by everyone's faces, it couldn't be good.

"This creature is beyond any of you…" Gandalf muttered then shouted, "RUN!"

And so we ran, leaving the halls of Dwellerdelf and into a chasm bridged by countless stairs. After a few almost falling into the depths below and flying down more and more stairs, we came to a large gap in the steps. Legolas was the first to make the jump without a single hesitation but the others weren't as fearless. At the time I didn't know what was to come nor what a Balrog was like so forgive my next action.

I couldn't help but do some showing off and I felt myself turn my back to the gap. I flipped off the ledge and skidded to a halt on the other side. Legolas would've rolled his eyes if he wasn't busy trying to calm his nerves like the rest of us. The details of the gap are actually pretty frivolous but let's just say that everyone made it across safely despite some almost not making it. Let's also just say that if it weren't for Aragorn's and Legolas's marksmanship that we would've for sure been shot down by the goblins! After making it past that trial, we continued on as fast as we could!

Finally we made it to the bridge and forgive me for ruining the mood again but at the time, I would've thought the bridge that Gandalf spoke of so much would've been more impressive! But it was just a small, skinny bridge that crossed a bottomless chasm. As we neared it, I looked back with the others just in time to see the infamous Balrog to emerge from flames and shadow. It was something of a dragon and a demon, with the eyes, fangs, and body of demon and the tail, wings, and horns of a dragon! This beast truly was something to run from! Finally, we all crossed (I was half afraid that I would fall. That would've been a terrible way to go!) but when we turned around to see if Gandalf had followed, he had not.

There he stood, confronting the demonic dragon in the center of the bridge! I had known this man to be wise and powerful but I had never guessed that he would be so brave.

"You cannot pass!" he roared at the Balrog.

"Gandalf!" Frodo shouted.

The Balrog responded to the wizard's challenge by lighting himself aflame, creating more light than I had seen at all in the mines.

"Dark fire will not avail you!" Gandalf shouted at the monster as he raised his staff, creating a shield around him.

The Balrog raised a massive, burning sword and brought it down upon the shield, making sparks fly and the bridge crack. Both drew back a bit but were not finished.

"Go back to the shadow," Gandalf scowled but the draconic demon only took a step forward and revealed a whip of fire!

"YOU. SHALL NOT. PASS!" Gandalf the Grey yelled, raising his staff and sword.

He brought them down upon the bridge with the sound of lightning and we watched as the half of the bridge the Balrog stood upon, collapsed. The beast roared in rage and despite his wings, it fell back into the dark world from where it came. For a moment, we all thought it was over and even Gandalf began to limp away. Then a sinister crack of a whip broke the silence and the Balrog's whip erupted out of the darkness and pulled on Gandalf! By the time it let go, the old man was barely holding on to what was left of the tiny bridge. I wanted to go to him but I realized I couldn't when Frodo tried the same but was stopped by Borimir. We all got one last glimpse of the wise wizard with an urgent look that told us to run but with hope in his eyes that hoped we would make it without him.

"Fly you fools!" he hissed.

And then he fell.

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><p><strong>RR! Feed back is much appreciated :D**


	9. Death's Advocate

**Shout out to ElvenFox5 who isn't an immortal snob ^.-**

**I don't know what a fox elf would look like anyway... also shout out to KrystylSky who showed interest in my story!**

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><p>I never knew the man very well. I knew him as much as I did Frodo which wasn't all too well but yet I couldn't help but feel a sadness in my heart. He was the very center of the Fellowship, keeping us going when times seemed hard and even making us laugh from time to time. Without him, the group seemed hollow, like we had a hole in us. With this newly punched hole in our team, we fled from the mines, dodging arrows as we went and finally, we tasted sunlight and fresh air. Once, the outside world was all I wanted, to be rid of the riches of Moria and to make the voices stop, but now all I wanted was Gandalf with us. The fresh breath of wind didn't seem to matter to any of us as we stopped to grieve outside the mines.<p>

Sam sat down, tears flowing from his eyes and Merry and Pippin were no better. Gimli was fighting against Borimir to go back into the mines to avenge the beloved wizard but I could tell past his anger that he too couldn't handle the sadness. I could tell Aragorn was trying to hold it in to keep the party together but I could see in his eyes despair as well. Unlike the hobbits I did not cry but I thought of the blackness Gandalf was experiencing, the idea of not existing, the feeling I had before I resurrected. Standing there, staring at the others, I went back to the mahogany coffin. But when I turned to Legolas, I saw something different. All that was there was confusion as he looked at us all. No matter how much he stared at our sorrow, he just couldn't comprehend that Gandalf was gone.

I could hear Shalen's voice in the back of my head, "Immortal snobs,"

Elves were immortal and I realized as he looked at me that this may have been the first time he had seen what death does to others. After all, he was the Prince of Mirkwood, he had no doubt lived amongst immortals his whole life, not knowing the blissful ignorance he was living in. When my somber eyes saw his bewildered ones, confusion met understanding. And of course the ignorant one would be the best one for the job to make the grieving ones move. Aragorn seemed to know Legolas wouldn't understand the sadness, and that being the case, he would feel nothing but confusion as he got them up. His eyes broke away from mine and he went to gather the others.

I only followed after Aragorn.

"Give them a moment for pity's sake!" Borimir shouted.

"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs!" Aragorn retorted, "We must make for Lothlorien,"

_So Gandalf dies and now I have to go be around MORE elves. _I thought shuddering at my last encounter with an Elven city.

Eventually we were on our feet again and running down the mountain. Yet there was still that horrible emptiness within us from Gandalf's death. All of us ran like shells, no feeling within us at all and hardly any meaning in our hearts to carry on. The only thing that compelled me any longer was that we get away from those gross mines. There was no more wizard to encourage me on and without the wizard to cheer us, how could Frodo show as much faith in me that he had?

We ran for as long as we could until Aragorn allowed us to rest for a few hours in the dark of night. It was only after the others had fallen to rest that my eyes too began to drift off…

_Amin hyarya Ile a' gurtha _(I left you to die)

The voice echoed in the quiet of sleep and I felt it constrict around my neck. My feet left solid ground and I could feel something loop around my neck! Gasping for air that wouldn't come, I was left hanging in the darkness, trying to scream for help.

"Koita, more aiwe," A gentle voice ordered as I felt a tender shake. (Awake, black bird)

I felt my eyes open and a shot of cold air in my lungs. Had even been breathing while I slept?! I was still leaning against the dead tree I had fallen asleep on but I noticed my heavy breathing and my shaking body. I looked over to the speaker to find none other than Legolas. What did he want this time?! Why would he even care if I was having a spasm in my sleep, didn't he hate me? But as he looked on at me, he seemed much less hostile to me and more concerned. He had even called me The Raven in is tongue but that didn't seem to bother him in the slightest.

"Lle tyava quel?" he asked softly. (Do you feel well?)

I ignored my heart ramming at my rib cage and only nodded but then looked at him strangely.

"How do you know I speak Elvish?" I whispered.

"You were murmuring it in your sleep," he replied.

Had I uttered the words I had heard in my head aloud? I didn't know what they meant but for some reason I could tell they weren't about Gandalf but of someone in my forgotten past. But at the time, I just wanted the prince to leave me be so I could work out the voice in my dreams. Of all times, why would he care now? Since when did he show any worry for me?!

"Then you'll understand this," I muttered, my voice still shaking, "Kela," (Go away)

Shalen's Elvish lessons were paying off.

Like a stubborn dwarf, the elf did not listen and only sat next to me, making me sigh and roll my eyes.

"You were dreaming of Gandalf, weren't you?" he asked.

_That would make sense. _I thought. _Somehow I know that phrase was not intended for Gandalf but it would only make my life more complicated if I try to explain and he doesn't look like he'll leave without an answer. Best to just play along._

"Uma," I replied, looking away and crossing my arms. (Yes)

There was only a silence until I decided to turn back to him.

"You don't know death very well, do you?" I whispered, barely able to see his blonde hair in the night.

"N'uma," he answered, barely audible as he stared into the distance, "Elves are immortal. Death confuses the ones who have not witnessed it,"

"So this is your first," I asked half-heartedly in a sigh as I stared off into the void with him.

"Sadly yes. An elf of my age should already at least be able to comprehend the beginning of dying," he trailed on sadly, "But it makes my head spin every time I think of it."

This made me wonder how old he really was!

"Why are you asking me?" I asked, making him turn to me, "I assume you are, why else would you sit with me talking about death?"

"I believe I am asking you," he said, holding his gaze with trust in it.

Why was he acting so close to me now? I could only assume that it was the fact that he hadn't seen me do anything The Raven would do and the fact that Gandalf's death seemed to bind us closer. Without the old man leading us, we had to begin relying on each other. I couldn't even look to Frodo anymore he was so heartbroken!

"Well," I sighed, trying to find the right way to describe being dead as I looked up at the sky, "It's like you were never born but the memories of you linger in people's minds. You feel nothing and all you see is nothing but it does bring about clarity. Although you don't exist anymore and you know of nothing in the world, you are at peace,"

Pensively, I went back to the nothingness that consumed my mind when I was lying in a little coffin in a sketchy town. As I stared at the stars, I waited for a response but nothing came. Finally, after a very long time, looked back at Legolas only to see his face even more confused! I honestly thought that would've helped rather than making it worse!

"Mani?" I finally asked. (What?)

"You speak as though you've been dead before," he said carefully as he looked me over, probably checking to see if I wasn't a ghost.

_Guess I have to tell ONE of them eventually. _I thought. _Although I can't believe I'm telling it to the elf that hated me rather than to the hobbit that accepted me or at least Aragorn!_

I sighed a long sigh and began my tale of amnesia.

"I didn't lose my memories with a hit on the head," I scoffed, "According to the people of my town, I was tortured and hung for stealing. I guess The Raven was a bit clumsy that night. Luckily they didn't know I was a legendary thief, the town is removed from most of Middle Earth. After a day of hanging out in the middle of town, they took me to the undertaker and she stuffed me in a coffin,"

All I could think of now was Shalen's face opening the lid to my wooden prison. Her adorable freckles and curly red hair almost made me want to smile. Finally I could remember her sweet face!

"Next thing I know, I'm waking up in a suffocating box, screaming to be let out," I finished.

The thought of coming back from the dead still terrified me and I hadn't spoken of it since I met Shalen. I noticed my body had begun quaking again. Shakily, I looked up to Legolas, horrified he wouldn't believe me. But it seemed I had only made it even worse, now it looked like his head might explode from so much confusion!

"Death isn't permanent?" he asked with the most bewildered face.

_Well I think I've screwed up his notion of death. _I thought.

"When you die you stay dead," I replied firmly, "I don't know why I got a second chance,"

More silence filled the air as he looked away with more confusion, his eyes completely lost.

"Then why were you brought back?" he asked darkly, "And Gandalf was not?"

Not only had I managed to confuse his little elf brain but I also made him hate me again. Just when I thought we were starting to get along, I just had go and tell him that I miraculously came back to life! How stupid was I!?

"What gives a thief the right to come back," he scowled, glancing at Tooth and Claw, "and not a wizard?"

I couldn't find the right way to answer that one. All my life, I had killed and stole so what made me so special that allowed me to cheat death? Why couldn't I have stayed dead and why couldn't Gandalf come back? All I could do in response was pull up my knees and look away.

"How can I answer a question I am still trying to answer myself?" I muttered.

Legolas only left me with a harsh 'Quel du' (Good night). All I could do from there was wonder why I had been spared. The elf was right, I had no right to be alive.

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><p><strong>Things just got serious up in heeere! Sry I'm ruining the mood ^^'. Next time, Lothlorien! RR plz**


	10. Comatose Living

**Got some shout outs before we start the chapter so heeere we go!**

**Thank you Kyle for the clever comments, they rly made me laugh! Shout out to redruby8 for your interest and encouraging review! Last but not least, thanks, flowerpower, for supporting the creativeness of this story! Reviews really make me happy and they keep me going when inspiration is low. Thank u so much for all your reviews!**

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><p>I was just about to drift off to sleep again when Aragorn decided to wake us so that we could move along. In the dim sunrise, we continued running and even my usual dexterous feet were becoming sore. We had barely stopped running since the mines! Finally, we slowed as we reached the woods of Lothlorien and like Rivendell, the trees spoke in a tranquil but menacing way. 'This is peace. Do not disturb it or else' the branches told me when I thought of climbing them with my claws. That only dampened my spirits even more. Since the night before, my heart had been weighed down with every step. Not only did I miss Gandalf but I also had to deal with the guilt that I didn't deserve to be alive.<p>

When we passed through the woods, I just kept walking like a comatose corpse while the others had begun to move on from sorrow. None of us would ever stop grieving for the loss of the grey wizard but the rest of the group had stopped being so hollow and began hiding their emotions again. How could I do the same when I felt the shadow of death hanging over me? It kept reminding me that I shouldn't know these people, I should be rotting in the soil where all the sinners belong.

_Greetings, Raven. _A voice rang in my head.

Panicking, I looked around but saw no one who had spoken. The voice sounded like a woman's, foreboding and warning me.

_You have forgotten. _The woman's voice said again.

"Calen," a gruff voice called from behind.

I turned to see Gimli with the other hobbits, all looking around as if they had heard something too.

"Be careful," the dwarf warned as we continued through the Elven forest, "They say a sorceress dwells in this forest: an elf witch,"

_Not another. _I groaned in my head, remembering Sarumon's blizzard.

"All who look upon her, fall under her spell," Gimli continued and I noticed Frodo blink a few times as if he was also hearing a voice.

Could the voice I had heard have been the witch's?

"Well here's one dwarf she won't ensnare," he scoffed, "I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox,"

It was actually everyone but the dwarf who had such a skill yet we didn't see the elves that stalked us. Before we could take another step, bows were pointed with sharp arrows strung in them and nimble Elven hands wielding them. We had been completely been surrounded by elves without even realizing they were coming! I had really underestimated their ability but then again, I had been snuck up on by an elf before when I began my journey.

"The dwarf breathes so loudly that we could've shot him in the dark," an elf said stepping forward, causing Gimli to growl.

He looked like any other elf, long blonde hair and a sour face but it seemed much sterner than Legolas'. It seemed that everywhere I went, the elves were nothing but jerks! We were led with arrows pointed at our backs the whole way until we reached a sanctuary like place, high up in the trees. A whole council of elves watched us as we stood before the elf who had brought us there, waiting for our fate to be decided.

"Welcome Legolas, son of Thranduil," the elf of course spoke immediately to Legolas in Elvish.

"Our Fellowship stands in your debt," was Legolas' response, also in Elvish.

_Oh yeah, thanks SO much for leading us here after pointing arrows at us! _I thought, letting out a faint huff. _Were elves used to being tactful to bullies!?_

"Aragorn of Dunedain," the elf continued, turning to Aragorn, "You are known to us,"

Aragorn responded with a nod before Gimli interrupted.

"So much for the courtesy of the elves," he snapped, "Speak words we can all understand!"

"We have not had…dealings with the dwarves since the dark days," the elf growled in disgust, his face scrunching up at the word 'dealings'.

I believe I'll be skipping over what Gimli said as it is much too offensive to write in this tale but it was bad enough for Aragorn to grab his shoulder and looked him dead in the eyes.

"_That_ was not so courteous," he quipped.

The elf only turned his gaze to Frodo, then me, and then to Tooth and Claw.

"You bring a great evil from Sauron with you," he hissed, "and a thief, enemy to elves and men. You expect me to allow you to go further?"

This made me blink in surprise, even elves as far as Lothlorien recognized The Raven! The elf must've noticed and only chuckled.

"Did you think we did not notice?" he smirked then looked at me with disdain, "Amin feuya ten' lle," (You disgust me)

Normally, I would've shot an insult right back after being fed up with so much Elven hostility! Now however, I just took the hit, remembering what Legolas had told me: I didn't have a right to live. It didn't matter anyways, I seemed to disgust every elf no matter what I did. Aragorn stepped in there to avoid any more conflict, he would not give up so easily, striking up a whispered conversation in fierce elvish with the elf. While we waited we sat around in the dark tree tops, waiting for a conclusion to be reached. I tried to listen in and I even heard the man speak of my amnesia to the skeptical elf but after a while, my mind pulled me away.

_Maybe it's about time I just ask Borimir if I can leave. He wanted me gone anyway. _I thought somberly as I looked out into the forest. _This journey hasn't helped me find myself, only destroy myself._

It was almost ridiculous how quickly that problem was solved!

"Thief," I heard Borimir say as he came over to me.

"I have a name you know," I retorted with a hollow voice, not even bothering to look at him.

"Lady Calen…"

"Just call me Calen," I droned, still looking away.

"Calen," he finally got it right, "I just want to tell you that I want you to stay with us,"

This made me turn to him in shock. For the first time in what seemed like years, I felt a spark of hope inside me.

"W-what?" I stuttered in disbelief.

"I realize that you came on this adventure to find yourself," Borimir sighed, "And I forgot that it is not always easy to do so. It was short sighted of me to want you gone after you slipped a little. After all, to ask you to leave is to ask myself to leave. I too am slipping but under the corruption of something else,"

"The ring still calls to you," I pointed out bluntly.

"I fear so," he sighed after a long silence.

I rarely heard it anymore, fighting off impulses to fall back into crime and drowning in suicidal thoughts kept me busy enough. Just then, the elf of Lothlorien who had been arguing with Aragorn for quite some time, turned to all of us.

"Come with me," he ordered.

Out of the dark wood and into the midday forest we followed him, still being followed by archers. As I walked through the woods of Lorien, trying to look as unsuspicious as possible, I felt someone whisper in my ear.

"The only way I was able to make this deal was if we only remain here for one night," Aragorn whispered, "and if you meet with the Lord of this place,"

I shot him a look as if he was crazy as if to say 'what kind hole have you dug me into?!'

"They promise not to lay a hand on you," he whispered defensively.

_As if. _I thought with a panicked aura about me, making me put my hood up. _The last time I took a harmless visit to an Elven city, I was almost executed! What makes this any different? And at least last time it was only a general, now I have to talk with a Lord who can have me shot dead with a wave of his hand!_

I pulled my hood harder over my face to try and hide the fear that grew inside me. The Silvan elf leading us stopped, staring off at a cluster of tall, mighty trees. They stood like a mountain against the low land around it and all I could feel from it was a menacing cold. All that waited for me inside was a terrifying confrontation with MORE elves.

"Behold," he said, "Caras Galadhon, the heart of the Silvan elves. Home of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel,"

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><p><strong>RR! Next time, Karka and Rakka (Tooth and Claw) go missing!**


	11. Prophecy

**No shout outs today! If you review for the first time on this story, then you'll get one!**

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><p>The rest of the Fellowship stood in awe while I swallowed my heart back into my chest. The inside was even more breath taking and almost made me forget about the incoming doom! The trees were taller than towers and wider than lakes. Their branches seemed to bend at will to form the great sanctuary for their masters. Faint lights flickered from the trees' canopies, casting a calming glow into the shadows of the forest. It all reminded me of the fantasies I had before I met the elves: the idea that their lives were peaceful and full of contemplation rather than condemning girls to death at first sight. Still, the ever present sound of chanting seeping through the city made me a little envious. Legolas got to live in such calm most of his life, never fearing growing old while I came from a filthy village where mercenary work was all that paid decently and lynching was common (just look at how I died).<p>

At last, we reached the top of the tallest tree in the sanctuary and watched as a soft light descended from the stairs before us. I stood in both awe and horror as the light cleared, revealing the Lord and Lady of Caras Galadhon. Luckily, Lord Celeborn looked a little less harsh than the last elf who looked down on me but when my eyes fell upon Lady Galadriel, I felt myself flinch. Right then, I knew this was the woman who had spoken in my head upon our arrival. She looked like the Elven trees, peaceful and calm but unwilling to be used as a mere resource for your own desire. Yet I could not deny that she was beautiful.

"The enemy knows that you have entered here," Lord Celeborn observed slowly as he looked us over, "What hope you had in secrecy is now gone."

Then the Lord looked among us, searching for someone he would not find until his gaze fell on me, making me squirm nervously.

"The ninth walker was believed to be a wizard," he continued on, looking down at Tooth and Claw of which I had desperately tried to hide, "not a…"

_Go on, say it: a thief. _I thought, looking away from him.

"…woman," he finished, making me look back in shock.

_I think that hurt even more! _I thought, taking offense.

Realizing he would get a chance to speak with me later, he moved on.

"Tell me where is Gandalf for I much desire to speak with him…I can no longer see him from afar,"

At this, we all exchanged awkward glances, not sure how to tell them what happened to our friend.

"Gandalf did not pass through the borders of this land," Galadriel whispered faintly but her voice was strong enough for us to hear.

I could not meet the sorcerer's eyes, for all I could think of was his right to live again. My mind was taken over by guilt all over again that my second chance should've been given to him. I even noticed Legolas looked up to the Lady, recalling what I had taught him about death: he no longer existed but his memories remained.

"He was taken by both shadow and flame," Legolas informed the Lady, "A Balrog of Morgoth,"

Lord Celeborn looked like his heart was going to stop from shock and his eyes were going to melt from sorrow! Even Galadriel who seemed to know everything looked down in sadness.

"For we went needlessly into the net of Moria," Legolas continued.

"Needless were none of the deeds of Gandalf in life," Galadriel replied, looking back up and collecting her poise, "For you do not know his full purpose,"

_What does she know? _I wondered in my head.

Then the Lady of Light turned to Gimli who was grieving as he had when we first left the mines.

"Do not let the emptiness of Khazad dum fill your heart, Gimli son of Gloin," Galadriel said sweetly to the dwarf.

Despite the usual animosity between the elves and dwarves, the woman spoke to him like an old friend and Gimli looked so touched. We had barely had a shred of kindness since we lost Gandalf! She then turned to Borimir and looked straight into his eyes as if she were speaking telepathically to him (probably was knowing her) but instead of looking happy or at least slightly disturbed, his whole face beaded with sweat. Finally he looked away from her, gasping for breath, making Galadriel look confused by his actions.

"What now becomes of this fellowship?" Lord Celeborn asked, breaking the silence, "Without Gandalf, hope is lost,"

Aragorn, the usual group leader, had no reply but only a look of confusion.

"The quest stands on the edge of a knife," Galadriel spoke for him, "Stray but a little and it will fall into the ruin of all,"

Galadriel shifted her eyes to me, staring into my green orbs pensively.

"Yet hope remains while company is true," she said as she stared at me

_What is that supposed to mean? _I thought worriedly. _She wouldn't have looked at me if it wasn't meant for me. _

"Do not let your hearts be troubled," she smiled and looked at us all, "Go now and rest for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight, you will sleep well,"

_Can't wait! _I thought, holding back an exhausted sigh. _All I need to do is get through a meeting with some intimidating elves._

"The More Aiwe will stay with us, however," Lord Celeborn added, turning to me, "We have matters to discuss,"

The rest of the fellowship didn't know about this meeting but Aragorn. They all shifted their gaze at me, especially Frodo. He didn't want anyone else to be lost and I could tell in his sad eyes that he was afraid of losing me. I looked from each hobbit, to the two men, the dwarf, and then the elf.

"I'll be alright," I said monotonously, trying to hide my nerves.

The eight left and I was left with the Lord and Lady just staring at me, making me fidget awkwardly.

"Haldir has told us of your situation," Celeborn said, looking me over, "I apologize if he said anything to offend you,"

"I've heard worse," I breathed nervously, thinking of other things a certain elf had told me.

**_There is no need to be afraid. _**Galadriel's voice rang in my head. **_We do not mean to harm you._**

****Looking into her brilliant, blue eyes, I felt a wave of calm come over me. I felt my shoulders relax and a slow sigh come out.

"May I see your gloves?" Lord Celeborn asked.

Without hesitation, I took off my gloves and cautiously handed them to the elf. Tooth and Claw looked so much more at home in the hands of their own kind. Now I saw that they were truly Elven, meant to fit the hands of an acrobatic immortal, capable to use them to the best of their ability.

"These truly are Karka and Rakka," he said in awe, looking down at them, "they have seen much bloodshed. Do you know what age these weapons come from?"

_Did he want to discuss 'matters' with more or does he just want to quiz me on things I don't know? _I thought, trying to think of an answer.

"No," I simply stated.

I barely knew a thing about Tooth or Claw except that they were antiques that I stole from Rivendell when I was The Raven.

"They were forged in the Second Age and were used in the War of Elves and Sauron," he said, looking up to me again, "One of our greatest generals wielded them, I knew her well,"

_This elf is older than I thought! He lived through the Second Age and I'd bet anything that he fought in the war! _I thought, astounded at his age.

I noticed a little sadness come into his eyes as he looked at me.

"She died in the final battle yet the gloves were passed through the generations until the line ended recently and they were gifted to Lord Elrond," he said.

More silence…My glance shifted between the Lord and Lady, not sure of what to say.

"You must forgive him," Galadriel excused the Lord, "You remind him so much of her,"

I only nodded, still unsure of what to say.

"The real reason I called you here was to see if it was all true," the Lord said, snapping out of his sorrow.

My face wrinkled in confusion, hadn't they already heard the truth from Aragorn?

"It is shocking to us that such a ravenous outlaw can become so innocent in a matter of moons through memory loss," he said calmly, "I could not be certain if you had forgotten, that is why I called you here. And to see if you possessed the real Karka and Rakka."

I only nodded, longingly looking at Tooth and Claw, wondering if I would ever get them back.

"Aragorn has told us that you are repaying your crimes through this journey," Lord Celeborn continued, "That is very brave of you,"

I felt a little blush and my eyes move from my gloves to the Lord. Never had I expected an elf to be so nice to me!

"However, it will not suffice," he said gravely.

_Not suffice?! I'm hauling myself all the way to a fiery mountain of death and slaying monsters of pure evil to redeem myself! How does that not suffice?! _I thought with an angry look.

"All I am asking…" Celeborn said, putting his hand up in defense, "…is this: after your journey, you will return to Lothlorien and we will begin trying to restore your memory. Once it has been restored, you will take us to where you have stashed your stolen goods. There are many things More Aiwe has taken from us. Then we can leave Middle Earth,"

I gulped, thinking of how some of the things I could've taken in my past were lives.

"I understand," I replied.

"I give these back to you now," he said, handing Tooth and Claw back to me.

"But…" I hesitantly raised my hand to them.

"You may have stolen them from us, but they are the only chance you'll have to succeeding in your mission and repaying your debt," he explained with a saddened look, "And the weapons belong with someone so resembling of their original master,"

Galadriel still wasn't done talking in my head, oh no! As Lord Celeborn sent me away and I descended the stairs, I heard her voice but it was much less calming this time.

**_Your days of stealing have not ended. _**She murmured darkly. **_When Tooth strikes discord, you will have stolen the most precious thing you could ever imagine. _**

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><p><strong>RR plz! Next time: BOATS!**


	12. Karka and Rakka Revamped

**I had to upload this in Docx format because the Story format wasn't taking my bold/ italics thing. Concerning chapter length, I wish I could make them longer and I'm trying to right now however these are chapters I wrote a few months ago. I write ahead of the chapters that are uploaded here so I won't fall behind. I've actually had bad writer's block for a while but I promise that when they get to Helms Deep, I'll make the chapters longer (because that's what I'm writing now)**

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><p>(Let's Write) Chapter 12<p>

I was hoping I could get away from the elf without hearing a prophecy (after all she was a sorceress of some kind) but she had gotten me just as I was trying to escape. But what had she meant?! My glove, Tooth, was foretold to strike 'discord'? What kind of discord would he strike? With this disturbing prophecy festering in my mind, I came to the pavilion where the fellowship was settling down. I too began to unpack my things until I noticed the song that rang from the treetops. It was a lament for Gandalf and every word of it hit me like a dagger. Galadriel's order to be calm had long passed and I felt my will to live slipping. Without even thinking, I crept light-footed away from the group, trying to get away from the singing. All it did to me was remind me of my second chance, the second chance _Gandalf_ deserved!

Finally, I slumped against a mighty tree, giving up on escaping the voices. The voices seemed to fill the entire forest and reach everyone's ears! I crumpled into a ball and since the prisons of Rivendell, I let the reservoir break open. No matter how desperately I tried to muffle my hiccups and sobs, they just kept coming. I tried my very best to think of Shalen and the other things that urged me to stay alive but the dark thoughts outweighed me.

_I should've suffocated in that coffin. _I though miserably. _I should've never gone on this stupid journey!_

Frodo said this journey would help me find myself, but now I wanted to forget who I was! I cried and cried until, a strange peace came over and I felt my body fall on its side into a deep sleep. That night, I slept better than I had in a long time! All my troubles left me in the void of sleep and I floated through nothingness until the stressful world brought me back again. A tiny hand was shaking me as I groaned in protest to wake up.

"Come on, Calen! It's time to go!" chimed a chipper voice.

"Maybe I should get some water," came another voice.

"We can't throw water on a lady!" the other voice snapped.

"Huh? What? I-I'm awake!" I shot up from the mossy ground, my black hair covering my vision.

Half asleep, I messily pulled my hair out of my face and looked up at Merry and Pippin groggily.

"Have ye been cryin'?" Pippin asked.

I put a hand to my face, noticing the encrusted tears and puffy eyes.

"No," I lied horribly.

The two hobbits exchanged skeptical glances at this.

As I rose, I felt that something was off. I could tell something was missing but I couldn't know for sure. My hands flew to each other, feeling for the usual gloves on them!

"T-Tooth and Claw!" I exclaimed, looking around frantically, "Where are they?!"

"We thought you left them back at the pavilion," Merry shrugged.

"N-no, they were here when I fell asleep!" I stuttered, overturning rocks desperately.

"Maybe the elves have 'em," Pippin said casually.

"What?!" I whipped my head around fiercely.

"I saw one walkin' off with them last night. I didn't think it was too important," he said defensively.

Without another word, I tore off through the woods, grabbing my stuff at the pavilion, I ran through the woods, swinging on branches and flipping over rocks. Finally I reached a river where the rest of the Fellowship was. Tooth and Claw had a way of calling me, don't ask how but I could find where they were by instinct. They all looked at me strangely as I burst through the clearing, out of breath with a crazed look on my face.

"Where were you last night?" Aragorn with a bewildered look.

Before I could answer, I heard two pairs of little feet coming from behind. I turned to see Merry and Pippin running after me, out of breath. They finally reached us, gasping for breath and we gave them a few moments to catch their breath.

"Don't run so fast!" Pippin gasped, "We could barely keep up!"

"I'm surprised you did…" I muttered with an astonished face.

Remembering the task at hand, I whirled around to the others, about to ask about my gloves when something else cut me off.

"Please stand ready to receive Lady Galadriel's blessings," an elf ordered, and we all quickly got into line.

As the Lady glided out of the woods, I tried to whip the puffiness away from my eyes. Looking down to the front of the line, I saw Legolas and all I could do was hope my gaze would kill him.

_It's YOUR fault I feel so awful all the time! _I thought spitefully. _You just had to tell me I should be dead! How can you live on so oblivious to what you've done to me!?_

I was stopped short of my glaring when Galadriel stopped before us. Nine assistants came with green cloaks and she had them fasten them around us. Pins in the shape of green leaves fastened the cloaks around us. The entire visit to Lothlorien slowly changed my outlook on elves: maybe they weren't so bad after all…oops, forgot about the prince, he was still a jerk! Then, the Lady presented us each with gifts. She gave Legolas a new bow, sturdy and perfect for a marksman such as himself. For Merry and Pippin, she gave them Elvish daggers that had been fought in wars. Sam received Elvish rope and Frodo got some vial that was referred to as 'a precious star' but I was unsure of what it did…Despite his bashfulness, Gimli worked up the courage to ask the Lady for a single hair from her head: she gave him three. When the brillian blonde woman came to me, I almost mistook her very presence as my gift. Her alone standing before me gave me a sense of awe.

I almost missed the gift she handed me.

"I believe these are yours," she said, handing me Tooth and Claw.

Carefully, I took them from her and immediately noticed something different.

"We strengthened them in the night," she explained as I slipped them on, "Let they reach your enemies so that they may not reach you first,"

The gloves almost reached my elbows now and they felt much sturdier. The engravings of 'Karka' and 'Rakka' had been redone and accented as well. Unsheathing the hooked blades, they shot out to the length of a shortsword! The Elven guards jumped a little at this that I pull out a weapon in the presence of Lady Galadriel but she only smiled at my admiration for the weapons. We left for the river before we saw what Aragorn was given but I couldn't see anything distinctive when he caught up with us. Our new motive of transport were boats, very nice ones at that! They were pure white with carvings of trees on them and even the oars matched! We were supplied with everything we could need including Elvish rations which was a strange bread called 'lembas'. I barely remembered it from when Shalen taught me about the elves but I did remember to only have a bite, or you'd have a killer stomach ache!

Originally, I was going to row one of the boats with Merry and Pippin but then came the dwarf. He was so heavy that even with Legolas at the back of the boat, it still almost flipped over. Reluctantly I sat in front of Legolas. I had really hoped I wouldn't have to be anywhere near him on the river trip. A whole day, stuck in a floating piece of wood with the world's cruelest elf! Finally, we pushed off and left the safe haven of the elves and entered back into the murderous world. By all the scowls I shot Legolas for him to not talk to me or ask what Galadriel gave me, he was able to take a hint and not bother me. Yet, I had also succeeded in making him curious.

That night, we camped at the edge of the river and this time there was no serenity of elves to help me sleep. Instead, I lay on the rocky ground, ignoring the pain in my back, and looked up to the starry sky.

_Wherever you are, Gandalf…_I thought feeling tears prickle at my eyes…_I'm sorry. I never knew you well but everyone else is devastated that you're not here. It's like the wolf pack has lost its alpha. I tried to keep it a secret, really I did, but I told that stupid prince about my resurrection. Now all I can think of when I think of him is you. I was a murder but here I am, alive. All you were was a wise wizard, making everyone brave and happy. Nothing could stop you…so why aren't you here now? Why am I alive?_

Sighing, I rolled over, thinking of how silly that was. I was never one to pray to the dead but at this point, I would do anything to feel like I had a reason to live. That night, no sleep came to me and I was well awake before Aragorn had us up and moving again. We were now on greater rivers with stronger currents and I found myself marveling at the scenery in between yawns. I even had to keep pinching myself to keep from falling asleep.

"Mankoi lle n'kaima?" a quiet voice came from behind. (Why do you not sleep?)

_Not now. _I thought, gritting my teeth.

"Mankoi lle irma sint?" I growled, trying to stay quiet so the others wouldn't hear. (Why do you want to know?)

There was a short silence while Legolas continued rowing as he searched for a reason.

"Lye Dela ten' lle," he finally replied stiffly like it was hard for him to admit. (We worry for you)

_YOU worry for ME?! You're the reason I'm so hollow! _I thought, clenching my fists.

** (In Elvish)** **"Was it something that the Lord and Lady told you?"** he asked persistently, **"We were all shocked when they asked to meet with you,"**

** "That has nothing to do with it,"** I hissed back.

** "What did they tell you? We were all curious,"** he muttered back with another question.

** "It's none of your concern,"** I growled.

I felt him twitch a little and saw him look at the banks with urgency from the corner of my eyes.

** "But enough about me,"** I smirked**, "What's got you so frightened,"**

** "I am not frightened,"** he growled after a long pause of him looking around.

**"Of course, I can tell by the way you're sitting on edge and paddling far ahead from the others,"** I smirked back at him devilishly. He'd been like this since we left, acting like something was following us.

He blinked in shock and turned around to see that he had gotten a few yards ahead of the others.

**"Thank you," **He said insincerely, his voice becoming harsher with every whisper.

**"You're not welcome," **I whispered back.

**"Why do you hate me?"**

** "I don't hate you, I just strongly dislike you"**

That shut him up. Yet it only made him more curious.

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><p><strong>Next time: Borimir begins his path to DEATH! Yay cuz I really don't like him. (not really a spoiler because I'm guessing you've all read the book or seen the movie or both)<strong>


	13. But They will not See Him

**Shout out to BlossomsAtSunrise for all your reviews and amazing feed back! Love you!**

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><p>The day trailed on without a peep from anyone including the immortal behind me (Thank the stars!). We passed through chasms and even went by The Argonath, two giant statues. They were Dunedain kings and it seemed like a pilgrimage for Aragorn to see architecture of his own people. It was a little scary moving by the two kings, their toes bigger than our boats and their arms menacingly outstretched. I thought of how many years it must've taken for them to be built but it began hurting my head. A migraine to go with my drowsiness was something I didn't need so I gave up thinking about it. After floating past the kings, we reached a lake with a waterfall at the end. Luckily, Aragorn was smart enough to steer away from the drop of death and steered to shore. The bank was littered with old ruins of cloaked statues and remnants of an old dock. They only made me more uneasy.<p>

It wasn't Legolas anymore that was on edge about something but Aragorn could sense it as well. The sense of a stalker had reached me too and I could feel a beast tailing us. I wasn't sure what but my thief senses were tingling! The hobbits started up a fire while I perched myself on a tree branch, feeling the elf's worries come to me as I felt our stalkers drawing nearer.

"We cross the lake at nightfall," Aragorn announced to the group, "Hide the boats and continue on foot. We approach Mordor at the North."

_The sooner the better. _I thought, fidgeting nervously.

"Oh yes?" Gimli questioned Aragorn, "Just a simple matter of finding our way through an impossible labyrinth of razor sharp rocks and after that, it gets even better!"

I wasn't told much about Mordor other than it was a dangerous place full of fire, darkness, and killers. The path to the place had never been explained to me but now that it was, I felt myself getting even more worked up.

"The festering, stinking marsh lands as far as the eye can see," Gimli finished with a growl.

"That is our road," Aragorn retorted, "I suggest you get some rest and recover your strength, Master Dwarf,"

"Recover my…?!" Gimli snarled then went back to mumbling to himself.

At this opportunity, Legolas strode over to Aragorn quickly with the same urgent face.

"We should leave now," I could barely hear him mutter.

_For once I agree with you._ I thought.

"No," Aragorn disagreed, "Orcs patrol the Eastern Shore. We must wait for cover of darkness,"

"It is not the Eastern Shore that worries me," Legolas replied as he warily looked out into the forest, "A shadow under threat has been growing in my mind…Something draws near…I can feel it,"

"Elves are not only immortal," I heard Shalen's voice ring in my head, "They can hear and see up to miles away. It's just another perk that makes the SOOO perfect,"

Shalen's old lessons helped me remember that if anyone knew what was chasing us: it was Legolas. He probably saw the chasers long before we even sensed them! The memory of Shalen almost made me smile but there was no time to be living in the past. Then, after a silence of scanning the forest, we heard the two words NO ONE wanted to hear.

"Where's Frodo?" Merry asked.

At this we all jumped, frantically looking around for him but he was nowhere to be found! Strangely enough, Borimir was gone too.

_Don't you dare! _I thought, hopping off the tree branch. _Don't you dare let it take you, Borimir! I'm not about to lose you! You were the last person to show me kindness and I was beginning to think you would give me the will to live but how can you do that when you're corrupted?!_

"We have to split up and find them!" I ordered to the group, making them all turned to me with shocked looks.

"What?!" I asked frantically, "Do you want them to die?!"

Aragorn looked at me for a few moments as if to ask 'who made you leader?' then only shrugged it off and nodded, taking off. I bolted into the woods, hoping our pursuers hadn't found the two first. Desperately, I sprinted through the trees, looking for any sign of an evil ring or a hobbit. Why of all times had the ring stopped calling to me?! Finally, I dug my Elvish gloves into a tree and began to scale it. When I reached a tall branch, I crawled to the edge and looked out on the forest. I scanned my surroundings for anything that spoke to me as if it had already been used by a Halfling but I heard nothing. For what seemed like ages, I leapt from tree to tree, trying different viewpoints to find the two but it was all in vain. I guess my tracking skills weren't up to par with Aragorn's.

After Tooth and Claw had dug into about twenty different trees, I felt something vibrate through the branches. From the moment I felt the trees shake and the air be filled with war cries, I knew it was our stalkers: orcs. But these were no ordinary orcs, these ones had the audacity to attack us in daylight. They had to be much different from a regular orc to do that! Quickly, I jumped from the tree I was on and tore off, putting my hood up, and unsheathing my gloves to their new, long length. When I tracked the sound of sword fighting, I found Aragorn, fighting for his life against a whole horde of orcs around a ruin site! From out of hiding, I leapt on the first on the first orc that passed me, twisting his neck parallel to the ground. That caught their attention and soon enough, I was locked in battle with half a dozen orcs.

Tooth and Claw sailed through necks and ran through eyes, even disarming the enemy whether it was by parrying or chopping an arm clean off! Legolas and Gimli followed quickly after, arrows taking down an orc every second and an axe slicing through black flesh.

"Aragorn, go!" Legolas shouted to his companion.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Aragorn run deeper into the woods as more orcs chased him.

_But wait, why are these orcs here?! _I thought, then it hit me. _The ring. They're after Frodo! He must be running! Then the least I can do is handle these monsters from getting any closer._

**Slice. Cut. Jab. Snap. Crack. Stab.**

_Shouldn't be a problem._

I cannot say for sure what happened between the Ring Bearer and Aragorn but whatever happened, I was too busy slaughtering orcs to care. I rolled under blows and tripped the beasts up, leaving them as sitting ducks for the killing blow. Gimli continued to clobber them as well and Legolas had switched to a new weapon. Now he was resorting to Elven daggers which I had never seen him use before! He used them in a similar way to Tooth and Claw but less savagely. He only chose to stab and slit throats rather than decapitating or mutilating. An orc almost grazed my chest while I was admiring his dagger skills.

_Focus, Calen! You hate him anyway, remember? Even if he is really good with daggers…_

We fought on until all of the orcs lay dead around us. All the ones that tried to escape were sniped down by Legolas. As silence was so close to coming in, a loud, bellowing noise sounded through the forest. It sounded like a horn but whose it was I couldn't say.

"The horn of Gondor," Legolas breathed.

_I guess that means Borimir!_

We took off downhill, following the horns blasts of distress, praying that Borimir wouldn't be dead! Surprisingly, Aragorn took the lead and was soon out of our sight! We ran and ran and ran and we arrived at the scene. Gimli was far behind but Legolas and I had managed to make it (although it was easy for me to keep up with an elf despite being human).The orcs were gone and Borimir lay like a pin cushion, stuck full of arrows with Aragorn kneeling over him. I almost didn't notice that Merry and Pippin were gone. They had been taken.

_I was too late. _I thought, gasping for breath. _Please don't die… I can't have another death to feel guilty about._

"I would've followed you my brother, my captain, my king, "were Borimir's last words before he died.

Another life from the fellowship: taken. Another life that deserved to be brought back.

_He died with honor and deserves to live again. _I thought, taking off my hood and letting my green eyes sparkle with tears. _I died with a noose around my neck. Why am I alive to see all these good people die?!_

"Be at peace, Son of Gondor," Aragorn whispered, kissing the man on the forehead.

Then Aragorn stood up, leaving a moment of silence. What was once a hectic battle left a serene forest strewn with bodies of beasts and blessed with the body of a man. Legolas and Gimli looked as devastated as Aragorn and the elf seemed to understand death much better now. Borimir no longer existed but he lived on in our memories forever.

"They will look for his coming at the white tower," Aragorn whispered as he stood above the body, "But they will not see him."

We stood on ceremony for a few moments, offering our last silent prayers to Borimir before we began to carry his body off. We couldn't leave his corpse to rot along with orc bodies. Little did we know that while we grieved, the Ring Bearer was venturing off on his own with a faithful companion that would follow him anywhere: even if that meant drowning.

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><p><strong>Little tribute to Sam's bravery there. Daw Sam is so cute! RR please!**


	14. Run

**This one's a shortie. Sorry but I cut it short because it ends the first movie of the Lord of the Rings series.**

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><p>Frodo and Sam had reached the Eastern Shore by the time we brought Bormir's body to camp. But first thing was first, we had to give him a proper burial. But we didn't bury him in the earth, we buried him in the water. We pulled the arrows from his chest and stomach, placed him in one of the boats, and sent him down the lake, towards the waterfall. We watched him go, sword, shield, and all, downstream toward the drop until the boat disappeared over the falls.<p>

_Goodbye._

"Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the Eastern Shore!" Legolas yelled as he pushed a boat into the water.

I only looked at him then looked back to the Eastern Shore, watching two little people run off into the distance. This was something Frodo had to do on his own…and Sam was coming too, of course. Aragorn only stared at the ground, grieve still painted on his face, trying to decide our next action. Instead of giving out an order like he usually did, he only silently watched the hobbits disappear.

"You mean not to follow them," Legolas said, his face dropping.

"Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands," Aragorn replied.

There was a silence among us. Aragorn was giving up!? The whole mission was to bring the ring to Mount Doom but now that we had given that duty to another, what was our purpose? Even I felt useless.

"Then it has all been in vain, the Fellowship has failed," Gimli sighed.

Slowly, we trudged up to Aragorn, awaiting some kind of order, something that would give us some kind of hope! I stood with the elf and dwarf by my side, looking at Aragorn who would not meet our eyes.

_Say something! _I pleaded in my mind. _Without a journey, I'll have nothing to keep me from dying!_

Finally, he turned to us and placed a hand on Legolas' and Gimli's shoulders, "Not if we remain true to each other,"

_I knew you wouldn't give up. _I smirked.

"We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death," he said fiercely with fire in his eyes, "Not while we have strength left!"

He turned from us and began to ready his weapons, "Leave all that can be spared behind, we travel light."

Then he turned to us and smirked, "Let us hunt some orc,"

We all had hope in our souls once more! I grinned, throwing my hood back to reveal my long, black hair and my determined green eyes. We bolted into the forest to save our little friends and for once, I forgot about all the guilt that nibbled away at my heart. I felt free as I ran through the forest, my companions by my side! This was the path I chose from the very beginning: from the dungeons of Rivendell, I decided my fate.

Run.

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><p><strong>Next time, we start on the second movie!<strong>


	15. My Reason

"_Go back to the shadow!"_

_ "I realize that you came on this adventure to find yourself and I forgot that it is not always easy to do so."_

_ "I am NOT leaving you!"_

_ "JUST GO, DAMN IT!"_

I felt my whole body flinch as I awoke from my nightmare. Since we left to save the two halflings, all I had were bad dreams, filled with memories of Gandalf and Borimir's deaths. But this night, I had dreamt of something so different. The last few words were unfamiliar to me. Who was yelling at me to go and why? I was slowly discovering more about my past and rather than it exciting me, it terrified me! The past of a killer and a thief was one I did not want to know about.

Painfully, I sat up from the jagged rocks to face the night sky. We had been running for two days and it was only now that Aragorn allowed us a short break but I could see that he slept with one eye open. Even Gimli, who usually slept like a rock, had his hand on his axe as if he would be ready to run again. We all slept restlessly, especially me with all my awful dreams, but no one was as tireless as Legolas. He refused to sleep during the chase and even at night, he stayed awake, staring off into the horizon. Not long after I awoke, Aragorn called us to move on and we were once again on the journey.

My agile legs held fast and kept me going but I could just barely keep up with Aragorn and Legolas. Every step to stay close behind them came with quickened breath and aching feet. Well, at least I wasn't as bad as Gimli. The little dwarf was always far behind us, trying to make his stubby legs move faster! It almost made me laugh a bit when I looked back to see him stumbling around…but I had nothing left in me to smile. My bursts of freedom when I ran were brief and I found myself going back to the same question: why was I alive? By the end of each day, I looked like a running corpse with every inch of life sucked out of me but no one questioned it. They only assumed the cross country was taking a toll on me…except one.

I came to a screeching halt when I noticed Aragorn had stopped moving. He had his ear to the ground and seemed to be listening closely for something.

"Their pace has quickened," he said, "They must've caught our scent,"

With that, he took off sprinting faster than before! My long legs pounded against the ground after him. For another day we ran without rest and soon my shin bones and knees were screaming for mercy! I tried my best not to show weakness because Aragorn and Legolas seemed just fine but it's hard to not wince when it feels like your bones are being splintered! At sunset, there was a point when I lost sight of the two but when I rounded a corner, I found them. Aragorn kneeled before something on the ground.

"Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall," Aragorn muttered.

I peered over his shoulder to see one of the emerald green pins that the Fellowship had been given in Lothlorien. I too still wore mine.

"They may yet be alive," Legolas breathed.

I let loose a faint sigh of relief, at least more people didn't have to die! Maybe these friends of mine would be spared still!

"Less than a day away," Aragorn said, beginning to run again.

_I won't let anyone else die! _I thought. _But if I want to keep Merry and Pippin alive, I have to keep running! I'm not about to let two innocents die and let their faces haunt my dreams!_

I took off after him, hearing Gimli panting in the distance. We ran for a little while longer until the chasm of rocks vanished and we stood before an enormous valley. It was littered with more jagged rocks but something about it gave me a kingly feel, like someone prestigious ruled over it.

"Rohan: Home of the Horse Lords," Aragorn presented the land to us.

"Oh," I said with dread in my voice.

The three (Gimli had just barely caught up) looked at me strangely.

"Well…they aren't fond of me, right?" I asked nervously, thinking of my past.

Aragorn and Legolas exchanged worried glances as if they had completely forgotten about my situation! From what they told me of The Raven, I had stolen from Gondor before, leaving raven feathers in my wake.

"…Ah…We will work something out…"Aragorn stumbled over his words, "But for now, keep your weapons hidden and your hood up. I'd like to avoid…any conflict that involves you. I wish not to lose another Fellowship member,"

_You too huh? _I thought worriedly as I took Tooth and Claw off and hid them in my cloak and put my hood over my black hair.

Aragorn turned back to the plains then turned to Legolas ho he caught looking at me with worry etched into his face. Legolas only ran out ahead of us and stopped, staring off into the field.

"Legolas, what do your elf eyes see?" Aragorn called to him.

"The Uruks turn North East!" Legolas replied, "They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!"

"All the more reason to keep moving!" I shouted without thinking, scared of losing the hobbits.

_Maybe if I just close my eyes for a few seconds…_I thought, my eyes beginning to droop.

**SLAP!**

I felt my hand whip my face, keeping me from falling asleep. I had been hitting myself since Aragorn gave us a few hours rest so I wouldn't have nightmares. It wasn't worth it to get a good rest if voices of the dead and the unknown fill your mind!

_Lights fading…_I began to feel my body lean but I caught myself, readying my hand to slap me awake.

"Lle anta est," a familiar voice whispered in the dark. (You need rest)

"Mani sii'?" I asked groggily. (What now?)

I turned my heavy eyes to Legolas who stood behind me, looking down on me although I could barely see him in the dark.

**(Bold means it's in Elvish, sorry but my vocabulary in that language is really limited)**

** "Since the mines you have been like this," **he whispered with concern, **"Barely sleeping, no life in your eyes, and no kindness towards me."**

_I'm going to kill you. _I thought, rolling my eyes and standing up to meet him.

**"You really don't know, do you?" **I hissed at him, then striding off from the others.

**"What is it that I don't know?" **he asked curiously, carefully following me at a distance.

Finally, when we were out of earshot of the others, I slowly took off my hood and turned back to him. He still had utter cluelessness written on his face but rather than hate him for it, this time I only pitied him. I guess I had been blaming him for something that he was unaware of this whole time. How was that fair?

**"Amin hiraetha. I shouldn't be blaming you," **I finally said, my voice cracking. (I'm sorry)

**"Blame me of what?" **Legolas asked, becoming more confused.

**"…The night we escaped Moria…" **I managed to say with more cracks in my voice.

I looked to my side to see Legolas there, looking at me with a pained face. He seemed to have realized where this conversation was going.

**"You…told me I didn't have a right to live…" **I spoke, tears starting to blur my vision.

Remembering that long time ago, Legolas raised a hand to comfort her, **"Calen, I…"**

** "Don't apologize!" **I retracted from his reach suddenly. Why was I so nervous about his touch? I sighed and looked at my feet, "**It was inevitable. It would've been impossible to avoid the fact. I killed and stole but I was brought back…My second chance should've been given to those who deserved it,"**

** "You shared your knowledge of death with me when I most needed it," **I heard the prince speak sincerely but I couldn't meet his eyes, **"And I thanked you with a stab in the back,"**

Shakily, I looked back at him. His face was filled with sorrow and regret. All I had done was make another member of the fellowship feel bad about themselves!

**"As I said, do not regret what you said," **I muttered shakily, **"If anything, I should be thanking you. The truth would've had to reach me eventually. I'm glad you told me what was yet to come."**

** "How can you see this as a gift?" **he asked, his low voice soothing the night air, **"I have despised you since we began this journey. It was wrong of me to persecute someone with no memory of their past,"**

** "To be honest, I didn't like you very much either," **I felt a smile tug at my lips a little as I rubbed my eyes to rid myself of tears.

Legolas smiled at this a little himself. It was the first smile in a long time that had filled me with hope rather than leave me hollow.

**"You have a reason to live," **he said on a more serious note.

**"Ar mani naa tanya?" **I muttered, my little smile drowning in the darkness. (And what is that?)

**"That is for you to find out," **Legolas replied, **"But you cannot wish the past to be undone. You are alive now and that's what's important. Gandalf and Borimir wouldn't have wanted to see you this way,"**

It seems small and insignificant. Like what he said wouldn't help at all. But it did. I had wanted to be dead because I didn't think I deserved to be alive, but now I realized something else. I wanted to be dead because no one seemed to want me. They never said anything that would make me want to be amongst the living and after Gandalf died, that's when it was at its worst. Of all people who wouldn't understand Gandalf, people looked to me. I had barely known him so no one in the Fellowship would want to talk to a girl who couldn't even sympathize with them. I had been left in the darkness, not knowing why I wanted to be dead. But now I knew, I needed someone to want me alive.

** "I didn't think anyone I wanted me alive," **I breathed, wide-eyed as I turned to the elf.

**"You are a member of the Fellowship, Calen," **he said sincerely, his blue eyes boring into my green ones, **"We do not desire you dead,"**

I felt my eyes well up in tears as a huge smile crept over my face.

**"Diole lle," **I whispered. (Thank you)

Legolas smiled back to me and nodded in response, **"Get some rest, we'll be moving again soon,"**

_I have a reason to live. I have a reason to live. I have a reason to live. I have a reason to live…that reason is him._


	16. Kanius of Calius

**I've been having really bad writers block lately but luckily I have some prewritten chapters to fall back on. Shout out to ro781727 for asking a very good question! Check out her question in the review section because the answer is 'yes'.**

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><p>For days on end, we ran. I can't say for sure but I believe it was about four days with one small break at night. Although my nightmares had been driven away by a prince, I still slept less than an hour before Aragorn got us moving again. Yet my lack of sleep hardly mattered anymore! I had a whole new reason to live, people wanted me to live, and I wasn't going to let myself become hollow again! I ran with more determination than the time I escaped from Rivendell!<p>

_If you could just see me now, Shalen! _I thought as I broke into a smile while I sprinted.

I stole a glance to my left where Legolas ran and he actually did a double take! I bet he was thinking how strange it was that I was smiling since I hardly smiled during entire journey. I only smirked and let my adrenaline take me farther, inching myself a little farther ahead. His usual rigid expression cracked into a slight smirk as well as he ran faster, taking the lead by a few feet. Letting my feet carry me farther, I broke into a spurt of speed, passing up Aragorn who had been in the lead. Legolas was quick to follow and even began to slowly pass me up. I looked back to him and that same little smile was still staring back at me.

"Legolas! Calen! Slow down!" Aragorn called sternly, making us skid to a halt.

As the man passed us he barked at us to stay focused, making us cringe, realizing we should be taking the mission more seriously. Still, I couldn't help but see the happiness in his eyes to see me smiling again.

"And keep your hood up, Calen!" Aragorn called back to me, "We cannot risk revealing your identity!"

Reluctantly, I put the sweaty hood over my head, making it seem like I was looking through a cave crevice. Legolas' eyes dropped at this, then he took off after Aragorn. Why did he seem so disappointed? After another mile of feet aching travel, Aragorn stooped down to do some more tracking. As he scanned the ground for traces of Uruks or Hobbits, a shriek echoed through the valley. Quickly, he signaled for us to hide amongst some boulders and not a moment after we hid, the earth began to shake.

Past us rode a legion of horse riders, armor, spears, and all! Seeing all the horses reminded me of Mearokko, making my heart sink. I still wondered where he was, if he had been put down by the elves, or even sold. Just as the last horse past by us, Aragorn emerged from his hiding place.

_What are you doing?! Aren't we supposed to be avoiding contact with them! _I thought urgently. _Well I guess __**I'm **__supposed to be avoiding contact. Looks like it's time to attract as little attention to myself as possible._

"Riders of Rohan!" Aragorn called to the horse masters, "What news from the Riddermark?"

Instead of a friendly greeting in return, the men began to lead their horses towards, us slowly and gradually surrounding us. Everywhere I turned, I was met with the intimidating glare of a war horse and a sharp spear pointed at my cloaked face.

_Nice…_I thought, shooting a look to Aragorn (who luckily couldn't see my face from under my hood).

A man riding a white horse emerged from the circle of horses. He seemed to be the ring leader of the herd judging by his more prestigious armor and long blonde hair.

"What business do 2 men, an elf, and a dwarf have in this land?" he asked demandingly, his stare towering over us.

_He thinks I'm a man!? Well, at least I know my discretion skills are working well. _I thought.

"Speak quickly!" the man ordered.

"Give me your name, horse master, and I shall give you mine," Gimli sassed.

Fury lit up in the horse master's eyes as he dismounted his horse and approached the dwarf.

"I would cut off your head, _dwarf, _if it stood a little higher from the ground," the blonde man hissed.

The sound of an arrow being drawn across a string came swiftly and we all turned.

"You would die before your stroke fell!" Legolas threatened, getting dozens of spears pointed at his head.

I knew he had grown close to Gimli since the beginning of our quest but I didn't know he was that close to him! Aragron placed a firm hand on the elf's arm, making him lower his bow. If Aragorn had to keep these two in check any longer, he'd go insane.

"I am Aragorn son of Arathorn and this is Gimli son of Gloin, Legolas of the Woodland realm, and Kanius son of Calius," Aragorn explained.

_I like my new alias. _I thought.

"We are friends of Rohan, and of King Theoden," Aragorn continued.

"Theoden no longer recognizes friend from foe," the man sighed, taking off his helmet to reveal a tired warrior, "Not even his own king,"

Whoever this man was, he must've been important because Aragorn seemed shocked to see him.

"Sarumon has poisoned the mind of the king and claimed lordship over these lands," the leader scowled.

_Damn it! I thought we were done with him! _I thought, clenching my fists.

"My company are those royal to Rohan," he continued to explain, "and for that, we are banished."

Now that I looked more closely at the herd, I noticed how weary every man looked. Even their horses were drenched in sweat and looked as if they were ready to give out at any moment!

"The White Wizard is cunning," he went on, "he walks here and there they say. An old man hooded and cloaked,"

The man turned to me, making my stomach churn in fear.

"And everywhere his spies slip past our nets," he muttered.

I swear, if he had held his glare any longer, he would've ordered that I show my face! Thank heavens for Aragorn!

"We are not spies," Aragorn replied, making the man take his stare off me, "We track a group of Uruk-hai westward across the plain. They have taken two of our friends captive,"

A dark look of sorrow swept over the man's face, "The Uruks are destroyed, we slaughtered them through the night,"

"Two hobbits! Did you see two hobbits with them?!" Gimli shouted worriedly.

"They would be small, only children to your eyes," Aragorn elaborated.

"…We left none alive…" the horse master admitted.

I felt my heart drop into my belly. They were dead?! How clumsy were these men that they would kill two hobbits along with a murder of Uruks!

"We piled the carcasses and burned them," he pointed to a cloud of smoke rising in the distance.

_Idiot! _I almost shouted but I bit my tongue.

"…Dead?" Gimli muttered.

"I am sorry," the horse master said awkwardly.

More people were dying around me and all I could do was sit and watch as they fell, died on the floor of a forest, or be burned with beasts! Suddenly, the leader of the herd whistled and two steeds came out of the group. One was a light brown and the other was pure white.

"May these horses aid you better than their former masters," he said in consolation and with that he mounted his horse again.

I had spent enough time with Mearokko to know a scared horse when I saw one. These two were tense and their eyes darted every second. With their masters dead, they feared what would become of them.

"Look for your friends, but do not trust a hope," the horse master said as he began to ride off, "It has forsaken these lands,"

"We ride north!" he shouted as the herd galloped off, leaving us.

Quickly, we mounted our frightened steeds and ran to find Merry and Pippin…in hopes that somehow…they had lived.


	17. His Second Chance

**I apologize for the wait but I've been busy helping Alicia Online's campaign to come back. Don't know what that is? Check out the links in my profile to the petition and my deviantart. I'm also thinking about uploading art that relates to my fics on my DA. Anyways, sorry for the wait but here you go!**

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><p>With only two horses, I had to share the brown horse with Aragorn and of course he wouldn't trust a woman with the reigns. When we arrived at the scene, scorched bodies of monsters lay in a pile, making my nose crinkle at the smell of burning flesh. Fighting every urge to retch, I bounded off the horse and darted up to the bonfire of bodies. Unsheathing my gloves, I used the blades to frantically dig through the pile, searching for any sign of a halfling! Wedged between a broken cutlass and a cracked skull, I found a charred Elvish dagger sheath. It was the same one Galadriel gave one of the halflings. Slowly I turned, holding the sheath to the others. No words were needed, they all looked completely hopeless. Merry and Pippin were dead.<p>

Letting the sheath fall from my hands, I trudged away from the smoking carcasses and allowed tears to gather in my eyes. From behind, I could hear Legolas muttering a prayer in Elvish for hobbits' souls to pass on peacefully. Aragorn shouted in rage and kicked an orc helmet as hard as he could (which sounded like it hurt a lot! I hope he didn't break his toes!)! He fell to his knees, still shouting to the heavens, when he stopped suddenly. I turned and through foggy eyes, I noticed that he began to search the ground.

"A hobbit lay here," the ranger announced, feeling the ground with his skilled hands, "And the other…they crawled,"

At this, Aragorn stood up and began to trace obscure tracks in the ground that I would've never noticed. Rubbing my eyes, I followed after him.

"Their hands were bound…"

He found a rope buried under the dry soil.

"Their bounds were cut!"

Aragorn began pacing away from the bodies.

"They ran over here…they were followed!"

Aragorn broke into a jog, making us follow. This man was incredible at tracking! I don't think an elf could ever match his skill!

"The tracks lead away from the battle!" he called until he came to a halt, "Into Fangorn Forest,"

We found ourselves standing in front of a mangled, twisted, and ancient forest. It gave off an ominous aura, one that I had never felt before. Most trees called to me to use them, even the Elvish ones that gave a foreboding feeling weren't that bad, but these ones…I did NOT want to put Karka or Rakka anywhere NEAR these! Instead of speaking, they screamed, 'USE US AND DIE!' My heart raced and my breath quickened in fear. I wasn't sure if I wanted Merry and Pippin to be under smoldered orc bodies or lost in a sinister forest!

"Calen?" a voice snapped me out of my fearful day dream.

I turned to see Aragorn and Legolas looking at me with concerned faces (Gimli was oblivious).

"I'm alright," I breathed shakily.

Fangorn was the most terrifying place I had ever been in! I just want to stress to you that I had ran over a bottomless pit with a demonic dragon at my tail and had been stuck inside a coffin! But THIS scared me far more than any of those experiences combined! I was surrounded by trees that I would normally use to my will but now I recoiled from even a small branch. Now I knew how a mouse felt when it was cornered by a mouse trap. It could take the cheese, but it was far too frightening, so all the rodent would be able to do was cower. Never had I felt more imprisoned than in that wood. For a change, Gimli actually noticed something.

"They're just trees, Lady Calen," Gimli said to me as he walked along.

"Calen…" was all I could respond with.

"Hm?"

"Just Calen…I'm just Calen…" I muttered.

"What is it that you sense, Calen?" I heard Aragorn call from the head of the pack.

Rather than answer, I looked over at Legolas, hoping he had been sensing it as well.

"Th-the trees are…" I sputtered.

"Alive," Legolas finished, "I've felt it since we stepped foot in these woods,"

_I was going to say threating to kill me if I so much as brush against them but that works too! _I thought.

Gimli waddled over to a bush and smudged off a familiar red liquid. He tasted it for a second then spat it out with a scowl on his face.

"Orc blood!"

Aragorn investigated a little himself, bending over to search the ground, muttering something about 'strange tracks'. A groan rang out in the forest very faintly but it still made me shiver. As the groan became louder, the trees seemed to become larger, making me feel smaller. Gulping, I took a deep breath and hurried to keep up.

_They're just trees…just trees…It's not like Legolas actually meant they were 'alive __**alive'. **_I thought to myself, crossing me arms in fear. _Probably just an elf thing…right?_

"The air is so close in here," Gimli complained.

I had noticed it too. The trees gave off a much more ominous feel and all I could sense is that we weren't welcome. I just kept thinking to myself that it wasn't the trees…just something else…

"This forest is old," Legolas thought aloud, "Very old, filled with memory, and anger,"

A booming moan swept through the forest, making me freeze in my tracks. The trees didn't speak to me anymore but growled, the way a bear would growl to protect its young.

"The trees are speaking to each other!" Legolas announced.

"But…they're just trees in an old forest, right?" I asked shakily.

**GROOOAAAAN**!

Another growl much louder than the one before echoed through the woods, making me flinch and almost unsheathe Tooth and Claw.

"They have feelings too my friend," Legolas warned me.

_Wait…So they ARE alive!? This is my worst nightmare! Trees that actually talk and not just to me! _

"The elves began it," Legolas said, staring off into the forest, "Waking up the trees and teaching them to speak,"

_If that's the case then you elves suck! You made my worst nightmare!_

I resorted to wondering what Shalen would say to make me feel better. Probably something along the lines of, "So elves were so lonely that their only friends were trees! Bahahaha!" That made me smile a bit, thinking of the red head's snarky remarks. My sass had really rubbed off on her during the time I spent with her.

"Talking trees," Gimli grumbled, "What do trees have to talk about, hm? Besides the consistency of squirrel droppings,"

Just as I was beginning to adjust to the murky place, something else put me on edge. Apparently Legolas' elf senses were tingling again because he seemed to notice something. Now I thought the Uruks had put him on edge when they were tracking us but this really seemed to alarm him! His sapphire eyes flared with alertness and every second, he darted his head every which way and I thought I was the nervous one!

When he could take it no longer, he darted up to Aragorn, "Aragorn, **Something is out there!" (Elvish)**

"**What do you see?" **Aragorn asked.

"The White Wizard Approaches,"Legolas whispered forebodingly.

Slowly, I let the daggers in my gloves begin to slide out.

Aragorn turned back to Gimli and I, "Do not let him speak, he will put a spell on us,"

It was payback time for that obnoxious snow storm!

"We must be quick," Aragorn muttered as we readied our weapons.

In a single second, we all turned, unleashing our blows into a blinding white light. It was all a blur but all I can tell you is that the wizard disarmed us all. I'm sorry I don't have more but it's hard to remember things when a wizard uses telekinesis to push you into a rock! Shaking off the daze, I hopped to my feet, ready to dodge another spell.

"You are tracking the steps of two young hobbits," Sarumon pointed out as he hid within his blinding light.

"Where are they?!" Aragorn asked demandingly.

"They passed this way the day before yesterday," the wizard explained, "They met someone they…did not expect. Does that comfort you?"

"Who are you?" Aragorn asked, "Show yourself!"

Sarumon stepped out of the light but as it turns out, this wasn't Sarumon. An old face that I thought we had lost, one that I thought deserved a second chance. And here he was, Gandalf indeed had his second chance.

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><p><strong>Next time, Calen is reunited with an old friend!<strong>


	18. Mearokko

**Shout out to LinwelR for their reviews!**

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><p>I never thought I'd see the old coot again. I hardly knew him but I couldn't help but feel over joyed that he was back! For an odd reason, He wasn't the old scraggly man he was but now he wore white robes, a white staff, and he had even bothered to comb his new, white hair out!<p>

"…You fell,"

"Through fire…and water. From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak, I fought the Balrog of Morgoth. Until at last I threw down my enemy and smut his ruin upon the mountain side. Darkness took me. I strayed out of thought and time. The stars wheeled overhead and everyday was as long as a life age of the earth. But it was not the end, for I felt life in me again. I had been sent back, until my task is done,"

I felt like a child listening to one of the great epics that were heard about in legend. His tale sounded so heroic and I was still astounded that he was alive! From what he had said, he had been sent back. If he was sent back because his task wasn't done…then maybe I wasn't any different from him. Did I still have a destiny to fulfill?

"Gandalf," Aragorn whispered in awe as he approached the wizard.

"Yes…yes that's what they used to call me: Gandalf the Grey. That was my name," he mused, "I am Gandalf the White now. And I come back to you at the turn of the tide,"

With that, we were off, walking back out of the woods. I was dying to be free of the oppressive atmosphere and finally breathe air that wasn't so tense!

"What stage of your journey is over, another begins," Gandalf told us as we walked through the forest, "We must travel to Edoras at full speed,"

"Edoras?!" Gimli exclaimed, "That is no short distance!"

"We hear trouble from Rohan, it goes ill with the king," Aragorn explained to Gandalf who seemed to be one step ahead of him.

"Yes and it will not be easily cured," Gandalf mumbled.

"Then we have run all this way for nothing," Gimli continued to complain, "I hate to leave those poor hobbits here in this horrid, dark, dank, tree infested…"

The dwarf was cut off as another groan that sounded through the trees. This time, I did not flinch. With Gandalf amongst us once again, I felt so fearless that I could march right to Mordor and take down the Black Gate myself! The Fellowship had become so hopeless in the wise man's absence but now we were ready for whatever "turn of the tide" Gandalf spoke of.

"I mean, charming! Very charming forest!" Gimli said hastily.

"Twas more than mear chance that brought Merry and Pippin into Fangorn," Gandalf snapped as he turned to Gimli, "A great power here has been sleeping here for many long years,"

I turned to Legolas who was still staring off into the trees as if he knew what the wizard was referring to. By wondrous look on his face, I could only assume it was the trees.

"The coming of Merry and Pippin will be like the falling of small stones that start an avalanche in the mountains," Gandalf continued.

"In one way you have not changed," Aragorn chuckled, "You still speak in riddles,"

"A thing is about to happen that has not happened since the Elder Days," Gandal continued, joining Legolas in his pensive staring at the trees, "The trees are going to wake up and find that they are strong,"

_Well forget that! _I thought. _I don't care if we have Gandalf with us, all I know is that I don't want to be amongst trees that are STRONG and can MOVE. I don't think they'd like a girl that digs daggers into their bark for her own use._

"So stop your fretting, Master Dwarf!" Gandalf quipped as he continued at a brisk pace through the trees, "Merry and Pippin are quite safe! In fact they are safer than you are about to be!"

I giggled at this, leaving the dwarf and jogging to catch up with Gandalf. When I caught up to the old man's side, he gave me an amused look and smirked.

"So how fare's your debt, are you fulfilling it well?" Gandalf asked.

"I think you should ask them," I smiled, looking back at the others, "I'm not sure if I've been doing the Fellowship any justice,"

"She has helped us in many fights. The way she uses her gloves is an impeccable skill," Aragorn reported, "We may not have won a few scraps without her,"

"That's going a little far," I muttered under my breath but Gandalf heard.

"Nonsense! The Fellowship is truly blessed to have such a legend with them," Gandalf laughed lightly.

"Please stop," I tried to fight a blush.

I could hear the rest of the Fellowship chuckle from behind a little. I grimaced at this, it wasn't just the flattery that put me off was what he called me.

Legend. _I WAS a legend. _I thought. _But I now I'm Calen, not a killer, not a murderer, not a thief. Just Calen. I know I can never leave that title behind, I'll be persecuted for it for the rest of my life, but can't they have the tact to see past that?_

"But I'll need you to remain low," Gandalf said on a more serious note, "Although you are harmless, Gondor would not take kindly to an outlaw that has broken so many laws in their country and neither will Rohan,"

"If I keep my hood up, I'm usually mistaken for a man and am called Kane…" I started to suggest.

"No," Gandalf cut in, waving his hand dismissively, "You cannot keep your hood on forever. Middle Earth will eventually have to know that a woman is travelling with the Fellowship, but not all of them have to know she is The Raven…at least not yet,"

The wizard winked at me, making me smile and glow inside. How I had missed the old, wise man! Finally, we reached the end of the woods and retrieved our horses. As I silently praised the heavens to be out of that awful place, Gandalf let out a piercing whistle that cut through the wind. For a moment nothing happened but then the whiny of a horse echoed softly through the plains. From out of nowhere, the most beautiful white stallion galloped through the valley, its white mane and tail flowing behind it. If only Mearokko could see the beauty, he'd feel young again.

"That is one of the Meares, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell," Legolas breathed as he watched the equine.

I barely remembered Shalen teaching me about the Meares. I assumed this one was the legendary Shadowfax, the Lord of all horses. That was all I really knew besides that it understood human speech but I didn't know any lore behind the horse. The stallion trotted to a halt before us and I felt myself holding my breath at its sight.

"Shadowfax," Gandalf introduced the stallion to us, "The Lord of all Horses, and has been my friend through many ages,"

_For once you made a white friend that didn't betray you (coughSarumoncough)! _

As Gandalf stroked his trusty steed, I just noticed something peak out from behind a cluster of trees. It only took me one look at half of the head to recognize him. Two black hooves emerged, a dark brown coat following it with a white blaze adorning its head. He looked at me from the distance and I stared right back, feeling my face spread into a grin.

"Mearokko!" I cried, sprinting from the others.

My feet carried me across the plain faster than I ever thought I could go! Flinging my arms around my horse's neck, I breathed in his brown coat.

"I missed you," I whispered to him as I embraced the horse.

I felt his snout nibble my hair in return. I must've been out there hugging Mearokko for a long time because the rest of the Fellowship had mounted their horses and reached me.

"Did you bring a friend along with you, Shadowfax?" Gandalf asked his friend as the white horse bobbed its head up and down.

"I didn't know you owned a steed," Legolas said, scanning my horse up and down, "It's a very fine one,"

"I left him in Rivendell," I explained, patting Mearokko's neck.

"What?" Aragorn questioned.

"Oh…I never told you how I followed you," I said, turning to them awkwardly, "You see, I had been imprisoned in Rivendell while you were there and I escaped the day you left,"

They all stared at me with horror so I quickly added, "But I'm paying off my debt right?"

"I suppose so, there's nothing we can do about it now," Gandalf laughed, "I find it funny that you've waited so long to tell us!"

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><p><strong>Next time, we get to see King Theoden! Yay I guess because I really don't like him.<strong>

**Also**

**MAJOR AN: I TOTALLY forgot to tell you how Mearokko showed up again. Shadowfax is the Lord of all Horses so Mearokko simply responded to his call and escaped Rivendell. I thought the line that Shadowfax 'brought along a friend' would help but I guess that was a little vague. Again, so sorry!**


	19. The Exorcism

**Shout out to a random Guest and Terinka14 for their first time and loving reviews! I'm on a writing spree but I go back to Dragon Academy soon so that may end.**

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><p>We pushed our horses into full gallop for the whole day until dusk fell. I thought Mearokko was the best horse in the group, but Gandalf proved me wrong when he took the immediate lead with Shadowfax. That's what you get for underestimating the Lord of Horses! Finally, we gave our horses a rest and made camp for the night. I slept peacefully against Mearokko, matching my breathing with his. There was so much I wanted to tell him about my journey but as soon as I settled down to begin, I was out. It doesn't matter where you are or what has happened, as long as you have a friend nearby, nothing can keep you from sleeping.<p>

"We'll reach Edoras by evening," I heard Gandalf say.

I could hear the Fellowship talking and getting ready for the journey but their voices seemed so far off. I was still half asleep, deep in serenity. Just as I thought they would all be quiet and let me sleep in, I felt a bristled nuzzle nibble my nose. I woke up, laughing from the ticklish hairs on Mearokko's snout.

"Fine, fine! I'm up, boy!" I laughed as I got up and rubbed my eyes.

Light barely peaked over the horizon it was so early! Whatever was infecting the king must've been very bad because Gandalf wanted us moving whenever we could. I mounted Mearokko and waited for the others…and when I mean others, I mean Gimli. He wasn't very skilled with horseback riding and I was wondering if he had ever ridden a horse before!

"You're lucky you have such a bond with your stallion," Gimli grumbled as he tried for the second time to mount the horse behind the elf, "I wish I was as good with horses as you were, then I wouldn't be in such a predicament,"

In an attempt to mount his other leg over the horse, the dwarf toppled off the white equine, hitting the ground with a thud. He sputtered that it was completely intentional but I couldn't stop myself from smirking. The following hours were filled with the sound of hooves hitting the ground until we finally reached our destination. Edoras was a small city that had been completely built on a huge hill! Just the thought of all the work they would've put into building such a thing astounded me! The elves had some impressive architecture but I don't think they could ever bend nature's will enough to build a city on a steep hill!

"Edoras," Gandalf pronounced the city to us, "There lives Theoden, King of Rohan whose mind is overthrown. The mind of the king has been corrupted by Sarumon. Be careful what you say, do not look for welcome here,"

I gulped at the warning. I was already nervous enough that I'd be presenting myself as a woman to them which they would already question, hiding my identity as a wanted thief and murderer, and being wary of the king. The notion of his mind being "overthrown" by Sarumon made me wonder what that looked like. I was about to find out. We took off galloping in the direction of the city, eager to liberate the king of his curse. The city itself looked amazing on the outside but it was dreadful on the inside. Everyone there looked like a plague had rolled in, looking at us with hopeless eyes.

"You'd find more cheer in a graveyard," Gimli muttered.

He could say that again, the dead would be far better company than these somber villagers. When we reached the king's hall (which was a very steep climb up the mountain, I took a mental note to reward Mearokko for his hard work later), we were met with a group of guards, all armed, tense, and hostile.

"I cannot allow you before Theoden, our king, so armed," the head guard said, "By order of Grima Wormtongue,"

Gandalf nodded to the others who handed over their weapons. Aragorn and Legolas handed over their bows and hidden daggers while Gimli gave them his heavy axe. The guards were surprised when I pulled out Karka and Rakka to give them, the thought of a woman being armed must've shocked them. Still, they took it, eying me strangely. Besides, they wouldn't recognize me as an infamous thief by my gloves; they were too foreign. The elves identified me by my weapons but I wasn't sure what Rohan would use to recognize me, so I'd have to be careful. When we had finally unarmed ourselves, Gandalf waited for the head guard to let us in.

"Your staff," the head guard pointed out.

"Oh, no," Gandalf said haggardly, "You would not part an old man from his walking stick, would you?"

_I never thought you were such a good actor. _I thought, marveling at the wizard's old man routine.

The head guard only fidgeted and finally let us in. Gandalf winked to Legolas who linked arms with him to make the wizard look older. The hall was dimly lit as if an evil shadow had consumed the little palace. At the end of the hall sat the king who looked pathetic. He was wrinkled as a turtle and his skin was as pale as ice. Clouds of grey had fogged his eyes and I could tell that something or someone was in control of him. When we entered, the door was promptly shut behind use and when I turned to the sides of the hall, I saw assassins lurking the shadows. Gandalf was right, we were not welcome here. We were wanted dead here. Trying not to focus on our killers, I looked back at the king, noticing another man I had missed before. The Wormtongue the guard had spoken of. His face was screwed into a perpetual scowl and his long, greasy, black hair made him even more repulsive. He sat close to the king, ready to whisper poisoned thoughts into his mind. If I didn't know better, I'd say this Wormtongue was the one corrupting the king. Wormtongue leaned over to the king and whispered something.

"The courtesy of your hall has somewhat lessened as of late, Theoden," Gandalf grimly called to the king.

More whispers from Wormtongue.

"Why…should I welcome you…" the king moaned in a raspy voice, "…Gandalf Stormcrow,"

"A just question, my liege," Grima praised his half dead ruler, "Late is the hour of which this conjurer chooses to appear,"

The slimy man walked up to Gandalf, making me wrinkle my nose to see his hideous face even closer.

"Be silent!" Gandalf snapped at him, "Keep your forked tongue behind your mouth,"

At that, Gandalf raised his staff, making the snake back off in fear.

"His staff!" Wormtongue hissed, "I told you to take his staff!"

The assassins hiding in the shadows leapt for Gandalf, but it was our job to defend him. Gimli and Legolas seemed skilled with hand to hand combat, but I wasn't so accustomed to it. I was given a few bruises before I knocked my opponents down. Hand to hand was like fighting with Tooth and Claw except without the longer reach. If anything, I found myself defending myself rather than the wizard. Instead of actually wounding the mercenaries, I was only tripping them up and twisting their arms while they laid blows on my face. Fighting with fists just wasn't my forte, each fist that flew at me terrified me. Even if I did land a blow, it was puny compared to the damage I could dish out with Tooth and Claw. It was rather embarrassing to need Gimli and Legolas help me get rid of my opponents. After all the guards were down, I wiped the blood from my mouth and turned back to the king to watch the exorcism.

"Theoden," Gandalf called to the king, "Too long have you lived in the shadows,"

As the wizard held out his hand, he said, "I release you from this spell,"

And then nothing happened. Instead, the ancient-looking king began to cackle.

"You have no power here, Gandalf the Grey!" the king smirked.

Gandalf threw back his grey robe, revealing the blinding, white robes underneath. Gandalf was Sarumon, now. Theoden shrieked in horror and shrank back into his throne as far as he could.

"I will draw you, Sarumon, as poison is drawn from a wound," Gandalf growled as he thrust his staff out, making the king writhe in his seat.

From the corner of my eye, a woman with long golden hair who reminded me much of Galadriel, came in. At the sight of the king, she tried to run to him but Aragorn caught her. Judging by the way she tried to go to him, I assumed she was a close relative to him.

"If I go," the king seethed, "Theoden _dies,"_

The white wizard only thrust his staff again, making the possessed man writhe even more!

"You did not kill me! You will not kill him!" Gandalf ordered.

"…Rohan is mine!" the king sputtered desperately.

With another thrust of his staff, Gandalf shouted, "Begone!"

In one last attempt to save himself, the king lunged at Gandalf, yelling like a madman. Gandalf returned the attack with another thrust of his white staff, throwing the king back into his throne and dispelling Sarumon once and for all. The hall fell silent until Theoden let out a weak groan and began to fall from his throne. The blonde woman ran to him and caught him this time. Slowly, Theoden rose his head, looking around with alert and lively eyes. His wrinkled skin morphed back into a smooth, colorful complection and his frail, grey hair turned to blonde hair that resembled the woman's. This was the real Theoden.

"I know your face," he whispered to the woman, "Eowyn…Eowyn,"

Then, the king looked to Gandalf, looking rather surprised to see him there.

"Breathe the free air again, my friend," Gandalf smiled warmly.

With a little difficulty, he rose as king once again.

"Dark have been my dreams of late," the king muttered to himself.

"Your fingers would remember their own strength better, if they grasped your sword," Gandalf suggested as an ornamented sword was presented to the king.

Gradually, the king's hand gripped the sword in familiarity. But the way he looked at his old weapon was that of power. He had so much anger pent up in him from being corrupted, and he knew who he was going to take it out on.

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><p><strong>R+R please!<strong>


	20. Funeral

**Shout out to LadyVanya for her super supportive review! I've been really unsure if yall were liking this fic so far but this review rly helped. After all, this is my first attempt at a more serious and very complex fanfic. Enjoy!**

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><p>Grima Wormtongue was thrown from the top of the palace steps and sent tumbling down to earth! The king slowly stalked him with his sword thirsting for revenge.<p>

"I've only EVER served you my lord!" the snake pleaded.

"Your witchcraft would've had me crawling on all fours like a beast!" the king roared.

The commotion had attracted the entire village to watch the execution of the king's advisor.

"Send me not from your sight!" the snake shamelessly begged.

But the king raised his sword, about to bring it down on the traitor. Out of nowhere, Aragorn grabbed the king's arm, stopping Theoden's blind fury.

"No my Lord!" Aragorn shouted, "Let him go! Enough blood has been spilled on his account."

Aragorn extended his hand to Wormtongue to help him up. I knew Aragorn was a kind soul but even I knew that you had to draw the line! This man had corrupted the king of Edoras, why should he be shown any mercy? Instead of taking the ranger's hand, the snake spat on it and tore off through the crowd.

_That's what you get for being too nice. _I thought, crossing my arms.

As Wormtongue fled into the distance the city bowed to their king once again…but wait. There was something I hadn't noticed before about the people that lived here, they were all wearing black! Someone of the royal family must have died. Someone very important to the king.

"Where is Theodred?" Theoden wondered aloud, "Where is my son?"

Theodred had been killed by Sarumon's forces while his father was under Sarumon's control. A funeral was hastily arranged for the next day and because I was part of the Fellowship, I was expected to attend. But when I realized the throbbing bruises and cuts on my face, I knew I couldn't show myself looking like that!

"Calen…" Legolas began to say but I cut him off.

"I know, I know. I can fix it," I mumbled, hiding my face from him.

It wasn't just my cuts I was hiding but also my red face. Eowyn took me to a spare room where I'd be staying and had cold water brought immediately. I found the woman to be very kind as she cleaned out my cuts. I found her hands to be gentle even when the water stung my bruises. When she was done, she handed me a fresh cloth soaked in some kind of alcohol and told me to put it over my right eye which had begun swelling.

"I'll be singing at the funeral tomorrow," she said awkwardly, trying to start conversation as she rung the bloodied rags out.

"I'm sorry for the loss of your brother," was all I could say.

"He was my cousin," he said.

"Oh, um," I stumbled over my words, "I'm sorry, I thought you were the king's daughter…"

Eowyn smiled faintly, "We are mistaken for father and daughter often. I'm told we look much alike,"

"You do. Does your cousin?" I asked then felt like hitting myself.

_Stop asking insensitive questions, Calen! _I shouted mentally at myself.

She paused for a moment, her face dropping into sadness until she changed the topic.

"Y-you're a woman in your group?" she asked curiously.

"Yes, I'm Calen," I introduced myself.

"I am Eowyn. It is an honor to find a woman as brave as to be part of an adventure of all men," she smiled faintly again.

"It's not too difficult," I shrugged, "They're all very kind to me,"

"I can tell,"

I gave her a confused look.

"By the way that elf looks at you," she said slyly.

By instinct, I would've done anything to change the subject or ask her not to talk about such things but when I saw her face, I couldn't bring myself to do it. She had been under so much stress from her uncle being possessed to her cousin dying that I couldn't deprive her of something that made her smile.

"Who, Legolas?" I asked, trying to play dumb as my face heated up.

"I didn't see any other elf," Eowyn bantered, "Did you not see the way he took notice of your injuries so quickly?"

"Th-that's just one small thing," I flustered, "You can't think he fancies me just by that!"

"Oh, I never anything about him fancying you," Eowyn laughed, "But you've answered it yourself. There's no point in hiding it. I can especially tell that you fancy him judging by the shade of your face,"

My face red as a beet, I only looked away as the woman laughed. At least I was making her happy but yet I wanted to scream for her to stop!

"Forgive me of my boldness, Lady Calen," Eowyn giggled as she finished wringing the last of the towels.

As she turned to leave, I called out, "Oh, by the way. It's just Calen."

I would've fought every order to wear a black veil but when I saw Eowyn wearing one, and how sad she looked, I couldn't show any disrespect. It's not that I hated her cousin, I didn't even know him, I just didn't want to be subjected to being like every other woman: wearing a disgusting veil. If I was part of an adventuring group of men, shouldn't I be treated like one too? I stood in front of the mirror in my room, looking at the veil. It battered my pride to wear such a thing so sexist and I had to force my green eyes to look in the mirror at myself.

_I'm doing this for Eowyn. _I thought to myself. _I'm not going to show any disrespect. It could be worse, they could be forcing me to wear a black dress._

I walked in the procession with the other members of the Fellowship, mourning the death of someone I didn't even know. Half way to the tomb, I peeked over at Legolas just barely. He looked about as sad I did. By now, he seemed to accept death as a part of this world. It no longer confused him. I never thought there would be so much death in this journey that would make an elf understand what it meant to die. As we reached Theodred's tomb, I craned my neck to see poor Eowyn. She looked like she was about to cry a river and I could tell she was holding it back by the way her hands shook. I couldn't believe that she even had the courage in her state to stand up and sing in front of her people.

Even if I stood up to a thousand orcs, I'd never have the courage to do what she did. As her cousin was slowly lowered into his resting place, she mustered up her strength and burst into a somber lament. I'm sure her voice is usually lovely, but my ear drums cringed every time her voice cracked from tears. We stood on ceremony until everyone dispersed which took way longer than I thought it would!

_Theodred, I don't know who you were. _I thought as I looked at the sealed tomb. _But I'm sure you were a great man. Just look at how Eowyn is so brave, I bet you taught her…or I don't know if you did. Maybe you did. Sorry. It feels so weird giving prayers to a person I never knew._

When I got back to my room, I ripped off the black veil and threw it in some remote corner. Gasping the air of a free woman, I collapsed on my bed, trying to rid myself if the sorrowful atmosphere I had just been through. Sighing, my eyes scanned the room, looking for something colorful that make my life less depressing. An apple stood out on my night stand, making me think of someone. Mearokko. Snatching the apple, I strode out to the stables, hoping the company of my friend would cheer me up. When I cracked open the door to the stables and peeked in, I saw that all the horses had been fed for the evening but luckily no one was there. I quietly closed the door behind me and went through the line of stalls to find my dark bay horse.

I found the stallion sticking his head out of his stall, looking eager to see me.

"Hey boy," I whispered softly as I stroked his mane, "We have a lot of catching up to do,"

As Mearokko at his supper, I leaned against the stall and began my tale from when I left Rivendell. I told him about how I came to join the Fellowship, the Crebain, the snowy mountains, and the Mines of Moria. By the time I reached the part where I learned I could fight in the Mines, I had completely forgotten all about the funeral and my worries of Eowyn. I had been swept up in my own tale, reliving every moment I told to Mearokko. My horse was also a very good listener, snapping his hay right up and watching me contently as I spoke.

I smelled him before I heard him. Amongst the smell of horses and hay broke a smell of the forest. It almost felt like the woods were creeping into the stables, bringing with them the aroma of fresh dew and sweet flowers. Stopping mid-story, I turned around to see the Prince of Mirkwood.

"Vedui'," his voice said softly. (Greetings)

I only smirked and rolled my eyes playfully.

"Can't we have a conversation in my own language, just this once?" I asked.

"Manka lle merna," Legolas replied slyly. (If you wish)

"What are you doing out here?" he then asked after a second of silence.

_I could ask you the same thing. _I thought. _There's no way he came out here to see me. It's not like Eowyn is right! He doesn't fancy me!_

"I was telling Mearokko about my journey," I explained as my eyes shifted to the horse, "He has been eager to hear what he missed,"

"That is a menacing name," Legolas cringed as he eyed my horse, "Gore horse…"

"It's supposed to be," I held back a laugh, "But in all honesty, I don't know his real name,"

Legolas looked at me strangely.

"I had him before I suffered my amnesia," I continued, turning to Mearokko, "He knows more about me than I do him,"

My hand reached up to stroke the stallion's neck and I found myself getting lost in his black mane.

"And yet he stays by my side, even after I have forgotten everything," I breathed, "If you could only speak, my friend. I would remember everything,"

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><p><strong>What happens in Calen and Legolas's awkward confrontation, find out next time! I'm so sorry about this awful cliff hanger, I know it isn't good to end a chapter mid conversation but I did anyway. -huddles under desk- please don't throw things at me!<strong>


	21. Leadership

**You may want to look over the last sentence or so of the last episode b/c u may have forgotten what happened...due to the awful cliffhanger. But I promise I won't ever make another anticlimactic choppy and horrible cliffhanger ever again.**

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><p>Strong, broad neck. His rugged mane as dark as midnight. Hooves sturdy enough to run on fire. Deep, brown eyes that opened a portal to another world. A world where I was once The Raven. A world I wasn't sure I wanted to explore. Then I felt another pair of eyes on me. Blinking to snap myself out of my thoughts, I remembered the elf was still there.<p>

"Sorry," I turned back to him, a little embarrassed that I had forgotten about him, "Um…so why did you come out here?"

"King Theoden has requested that the Fellowship meet with him soon. I came to retrieve you," he explained.

I only smirked again and pulled the apple out from my bag hanging on the stable wall. His sky blue eyes boring into mine made me shift uncomfortably for some reason and I needed something else to focus on.

"I'm surprised the king even acknowledges me as the member of the Fellowship," I said softly with a sly smile.

"Why is that?" Legolas asked, his innocent face drawing my emerald eyes to just glance at him for a moment before I looked back to the apple.

"They seemed shocked that a woman would be a part of such a mission," I shrugged.

"We have told them that you are a good friend to Aragorn and that the two of you were rangers together," he said.

"Then I'll have to start acting closer to the ranger then," I chuckled softly.

There was an awkward silence while I gazed into the ruby apple in my hands.

"Are your injuries healing well?" Legolas broke the silence.

"They weren't that bad," I snickered, rubbing my black eye, "Just a shiner over the eye,"

Then I sighed, "I'm nothing without Tooth and Claw. I suppose Rohan is right to think a woman isn't all that strong,"

I only meant it as a joke. Just something clever to say…but…

"Calen, the mistress of Tooth and Claw,"

I looked up from the red fruit.

"A master of battle and agility. No enemy can best her and no elf can outrun her. She rides a mighty stallion with talent. The woman of the Fellowship. I would find it hard to believe that Rohan see you as weak,"

My mouth almost dropped open and the apple almost rolled from my hands. The sincerity in his voice caught me off guard. He meant everything he said, and what was better, he didn't mention the Raven! Everyone knew me as the fabled thief of legend but Legolas had seen past it all, and recognized me for who I was _now._

"B-but…what about the Prince of Mirkwood, the tireless of all the Fellowship?" I asked, trying to get over the shock and at the same time, trying to be as genuine as he had been. Of course, I did him no justice with a feeble complement like that.

"My deeds would pale in comparison to Calen's," he said in a hushed voice as he took a step closer. He spoke as if we would be told in stories (although I already was but it was for The Raven, not me).

And then there was Mearokko. I had forgotten he was the third wheel and that he may be uncomfortable with someone getting so close to his rider. He stuck his head between us and began munching happily away at the apple in my hand. Mearokko broke the tension and I found myself laughing at the sly horse.

"I'll see you in the main hall soon," I smiled as I stroked Mearokko.

"Very well," Legolas grimaced.

I could tell he was a little embarrassed to be broken up from me by my horse. A few moments after he left, I let loose a sigh. Had I been holding my breath? Why was my face heating up so much? Even Mearokko seemed inquisitive as he cocked his head in confusion.

"I should conclude my tale that I have been given a reason to live," I whispered to my horse, "He gave it to me. It's him. He wants me alive…now I must go,"

With a skip in my step, I made my way to the small palace but what I found there wasn't what I was expecting. I had been expecting to see Gandalf sitting by the king and the rest of the Fellowship sitting in the hall but there were two unexpected visitors. Two _children, _one boy and one girl, sat at the other end of the hall. They looked starved and tired as they slurped away at soup. As I approached the others, I took a seat next to Aragorn and asked who they were.

"Survivors," he murmured back, "Sarumon has been using his forces to pillage the surrounding villages,"

I looked to the kids, they looked like they had seen a lot. Too much for children of their age. I noticed Eowyn talking to them, trying to get a solid story out of them.

"They had no warning," she said finally, "They were unarmed. Now the wild men are moving through the West Fold, burning as they go,"

"Where is Mama?" the little girl asked but was hushed by Eowyn.

"This is but a taste of the terror Sarumon will unleash," Gandalf said to the king, "We should ride out and meet him head on,"

Gandalf put a hand on the king's throne.

"Draw him away from your women and children…you must fight!" the old man encouraged him.

"You have two thousand good men riding north," Aragorn suggested, "Eomer is loyal to you. His men will return and fight for their king."

At this, the Theoden stood up and walked towards us. I looked down, feeling a little threatened that he'd still look down on me as if a woman didn't belong in the Fellowship.

"They will be three thousand leagues away by now," Theoden sighed, "Eomer cannot help us. I know what it is you want of me but I will not bring further death to my people. I will not risk open war,"

I was about to find my voice, to stand up to the idiot blinded by the death of his son, but Aragorn stepped in.

"Open war is upon us, whether you would risk it or not," the ranger protested.

King Theoden only turned to him, scowling.

"When last I looked, Theoden, not Aragorn was king of Rohan," Theoden glared at Aragorn.

_I knew since the day I met him he had some sort of potential hidden in him. But now that I see his natural talent of ruling, he is much like a king…maybe he once was…or will be…_

"Then what is the king's decision?" Gandalf asked impatiently.

Theoden looked at the ground in reluctance then turned to the wizard.

"I will lead my people take refuge in Helms Deep," he ordered.

Without thinking, I stood up.

"What good will that do?!" I objected, turning every head in the room, "All you'll accomplish is locking innocent lives in a death trap! There's no way out of that strong hold! Sarumon _will _send his forces after you and they _will _kill your people!"

Theoden's face screwed up in disbelief and anger. If another second of silence had passed, the king would've scolded me himself but Gandalf held out a hand.

"Calen, sit down," the white wizard said calmly, "His decision is final,"

Staring daggers at Theoden, I took a seat. For some reason, I hated the feeling of being ruled over by this IDIOT! What was he doing!? It seemed Aragorn wasn't the only one with a hidden talent for ruling. I too had every urge to stand up and fight this king on the matter. It seemed my first instinct but I had to fight it. There was still so much about me that I did not know.

"Never have I been objected to so many times in one day," Theoden growled as he walked off.

_Then you must not be used to being king. _I thought, biting my tongue.

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><p><strong>Don't forget that Calen was never told who Aragorn really was dundunDUN. But we found out today that legasp! Calen doesn't like being told what to do and likes being in a leadership role! Insight to her past! The puzzle continues to come together!<strong>


	22. A Guessing Game

**SOSOSOSO sorry for the unannounced hiatus. First off, I had finals, and then I went on a Memorial Day weekend trip so I wasn't able to write at all. Well here's the next chapter in Calen's story! Shout out to and Girl of Twilight Wings for your first time reviews, welcome to the story! Again, so sorry, and enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Left. Right. Left. Dodge. Dodge again. Dodge again. Right. Block. Grab-<strong>

As I grabbed my opponent's hand his other fist came straight below my jaw, stopping just short of impact.

"Your grips aren't tight enough," Aragorn pointed out as he easily wriggled his wrist out from my grasp.

After the meeting, Aragorn and the others offered to help me with my hand-to-hand skills, after all, my black eye was still visible. We practiced in the main hall while Gimli and Legolas watched on the side lines.

"Use your legs more, your arms are weak," the ranger instructed.

My mind was already raging inside from the meeting. Something about being ordered around, being looked down upon boiled my blood. Now I had Aragorn telling me I was weak in the arms?! Had he even seen…just…ugh! I went at him again, throwing more kicks at him this time but they soon escalated into enraged punches. I could dodge him just fine but it was the hitting I had a problem with. Throwing a punch, he grabbed my arm, twisted it, and I fell to the floor on my knees.

"Wrath clouds your judgment, Calen," Aragorn said as I got to my feet.

"I'm fine," I sighed, pushing my black hair behind my ears.

He only gave me a skeptical look.

"…I'm just as angry as you all are," I huffed, crossing my arms as I turned to the others.

"His decision is final," Aragorn said regrettably, "Nothing we can do will change it,"

"It's not just the king's foolish choice that angers you and I," I said, looking at Aragorn, "You have a knack for leadership, I've noticed it since I joined this quest. You don't like it when you're not in control. You try to hide your potential but it shows through at times. Who are you really?"

Quiet fell over the hall as I kept my eyes dead on the ranger's. I could see he was hiding something, the reluctance in his eyes gave it away.

"Maybe you should ask yourself that question first," was all he said.

Rolling my eyes, I went at him again with punches and kicks.

The next morning, the entire city was bustling with citizens packing for the long trip ahead. I followed in a line behind the Fellowship to see Gandalf off, who had decided to fetch Eomer and his men. We wouldn't win without them.

"Helms Deep," Gandalf snarled as he walked.

"They flee to the mountains when they should stand and fight," Gimli joined in protest, "Who will defend them if not their king?"

"He's only doing what he thinks is best for his people," Aragorn said monotonously, trying to hide his own defiance, "Helms Deep has saved them in the past,"

"There is no way out of that city," Gandalf scoffed, "As Calen said, he's leading his people into a death trap. But also like Calen, we can do nothing about it,"

Gandalf approached Shadowfax, the magnificent stallion.

"Theoden has a strong will but I fear for him," Gandalf thought aloud, his eyes lost in worry, "I fear for the strength of Rohan. He will need you Aragorn. Rohan will need you,"

The wizard looked to the ranger, "Their defenses _have _to hold,"

Once again, I saw the potential in Aragorn but also the blind faith Gandalf put in him. Now I really knew there was something special about him if the wizard relied on him alone.

"They will hold," Aragorn replied.

Gandalf gave him a look as if to say "they better".

"The Grey Pilgrim they used to call me," Gandalf muttered to himself as he stroked Shadowfax, "Three hundred lives of men on earth and now I have no time,"

He mounted the white horse as Aragorn pushed the stall door open for the Lord of Horses.

"Good luck," Gandalf said, looking us all over, "My search will not be in vain. Look to my coming at the first light of the fifth day! At dawn, look to the east,"

With that, Shadowfax tore through the stables and dashed through the doors. I only placed my hand on Mearokko's snout, hoping he would be as fast someday. Aragorn left to check on supplies while Gimli, Legolas, and I saddled up our horses. As I buckled the girth on Mearokko's saddle, I pulled it too tight, causing him to whinny and flinch backwards.

"Whoa, sorry boy," I snapped to.

I didn't realize how angrily my every action was!

"Tira ten' rashwe," his soft voice advised. (Be careful)

Legolas laid his slender hands on mine, guiding my hands to readjust the saddle's buckle. It sent a bolt of lightning through me, feeling his breath on my shoulder and his warm hands over mine as he stood behind me.

"Why are you tense?" he asked with worry in his voice while he led my hands to finish fastening the girth.

I paused, trying to find a bit of calmness in my mind so I wouldn't lash out.

"We're escorting these people to their deaths," I managed to say with anger shaking my voice (also the closeness of the elf), "And perhaps our own,"

At that, he pressed his lips against my ear, whispering through my hair, "I will not let you die,"

His breath flooded through my ear and travelled to my heart, making it beat ten times faster! His fingers left mine and he went to finish saddling his own horse, leaving me standing as still as a statue. Shaking my head, I broke from my daze and finished prepping Mearokko for the journey. Soon, the sound of hoof steps filled the air as the Fellowship and I led the emptying of Edoras. As we rode, I kept my head forward and my jaw tightly shut to keep myself from speaking my mind again. I had to remember what Aragorn and Gandalf said, there was nothing I could do about it.

"How long will we travel until we reach the Deep?" I asked my companions once we were well into our journey.

Aragorn and Legolas responded at the same time.

"Not long," the elf replied.

"Three days," the ranger replied.

I could stop myself from letting a little laugh escape my lips.

"I think I prefer Aragorn's answer," I stifled a laugh.

"And why is that?" Aragorn asked, amused.

"You could ask an elf how long it would take to be one thousand years old and they'd still say 'not long'," I smiled roguishly.

Even Aragorn chuckled at this and I noticed a slight grin tug at Legolas.

"It is not our fault we live so long," Legolas joked back.

"And how long have you lived?" I asked slyly, giving the elf a side glance.

The prince wasn't going to give me a straight answer, oh no, he would keep me guessing for as long as he could; for his own entertainment.

"I'll give you the liberty to guess," Legolas smirked.

As Mearokko's hoof steps rocked me back and forth, I studied the Prince of Mirkwood.

_Context clues. Something about him that gives it away…Let's see…long hair that shines like the sun and is always flawlessly braided. Pure, pale skin that is immaculate even after a battle. Bright, blue eyes like a newly polished sapphire. Breath like a mellow autumn breeze on your neck. Scent of a forest that has just been blessed with the season of spring…_

"Calen?" Aragorn laughed as I flinched back into reality. He could tell I had gotten lost for a few seconds.

Blushing madly, I looked down at my horse, "Um…two thousand?"

I risked a peek up to the two to see if I guessed right. Aragorn gave a discreet gesture by pointing up, telling me to count higher.

"Three thousand?"

More gesturing.

"Four thousand?"

"Over five thousand," Legolas finally answered for me, his low, sweet voice making it all clear.

"Wow," I breathed, "You're old,"

Realizing how offensive that sounded, my face heated up even more.

"I-I mean to me it sounds old," I stuttered, "But to you it m-must seem very young,"

Legolas and Aragorn only chortled at my sputtering. It all reminded me of Shalen's famous 'immortal snob' line, making me smile along with them.

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><p><strong>Just some fluff in this chapter but it will get better, trust me. In the next few chapters, Calen's life is going to be turned upside down (u know, if suffering amnesia wasn't enough)!<strong>


	23. Up in Flames

**Shout out to Raider-K, for her supportive, first time review! Thank u so much, but they'll be no humorous dialogue in this episode. Shiz is gonna get real now. Did you enjoy all the adorable LegolasxCalen fluff? I sure hope so because it's all going up in flames now! Enjoy!**

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><p>Night fell upon us and rather than sleeping with the rest of the women, huddled in bunches, I rested far from the others. My source of warmth was Mearokko. As always, he laid down and left room for me to prop myself up against him, matching my breathing with his. Silently, I named all the constellations I could remember in my head. Some of them had not appeared yet as the night was still young, the sun's glow could be seen ever so faintly in the farthest horizon.<p>

"Calen," a rugged voice came.

I turned from the speckled sky to see Aragorn, standing a few feet away from me.

"What is it?" I asked, standing up to meet him.

"I must speak with you," he said seriously.

"Alright," I responded with a nervous quiver in my voice.

"We must speak alone," he added with the same sober tone.

"No," I objected defiantly, crossing my arms, "Anything you have to say you can say in front of Mearokko,"

The dark bay horse looked up at the ranger from where he lay. Aragorn almost chuckled at the thought that the first thing on my mind was my steed. He only looked around to make sure no one was listening, then he approached me.

"I've noticed you have grown fond of Legolas as of late," he said pensively.

I felt a hot rush of sweat run through me and I opened my mouth in defense but he cut me off.

"Now I will not ask why or how you have grown close…but," he stumbled over his words, finding it difficult to speak, "The elves will not dwell in Middle Earth forever…"

"Yes I know," I shrugged, remembering Shalen's lessons on her least favorite race.

The red head taught me that the elves remained immortal by traveling every million years for if they stayed, they would become mortal.

"It is not long until they leave," Aragorn explained, trying to help me see the gravity of the situation.

"How long?" I asked with another shrug.

…

"They board the ships to the Undying Lands as we speak," he admitted, sorrow seeping into his eyes.

My own eyes dropped at this as my breath became heavy in disbelief.

"Legolas will join them once the conflict of the ring is solved," Aragorn went on, sympathy etched into his face, "Believe me, I share your pain. An elleth I have loved for a time is leaving as well,"

Tears invaded my green eyes, refusing to meet the ranger's dark ones. I felt his hand clasp my shoulder in comfort.

"I am sorry Calen," he murmured, "But it is best you do not get any closer to him, it will only cause more pain when the time comes,"

After several blinks in an attempt to fight back tears, I nodded.

"You're right…" I whimpered, "I…I just had no idea…"

I tried to say more but my words become incomprehensible as salt water flowed from my eyes and my voice began to hiccup.

_What am I doing?! _I thought in shame. _I'm an empowered fighter, a woman of strength! Why am I sobbing like a child? Why am I crying so damn much over Legolas?! Am I really THAT attached to him?_

It was the first time in…well…since I could remember that I cried so hard. My sobs echoed silently in the night air, miserable and pathetic. Aragorn put his arms around me and held me close, resting his chin on the top of my head, whispering 'I'm sorry…I'm so sorry'. His voice was full of pain of his own. The elleth he loved must've been very important. Now I realized I shared the same burden he had. I had to do what was best for the one that I loved, not bring him down when the time came. My cries were muffled against the ranger's chest and I felt like he was some kind of father that I never had. He did seem protective over me since we entered these lands, and I never saw it before. He held me for a long time until my intense sobs turned to silent weeps.

As usual, Mearokko had had enough of strange men being so close to me. He wedged his snout in between us and Aragorn backed off respectably. Then I hugged my equine friend, crying into him now. I heard Aragorn leave. I leaned against Mearokko again after a while but I wasn't as tranquil as before. Every breath had a hiccup and every blink blurred my vision with tears. Mearokko tried to breathe calmly to help me be at peace, but he only succeeded in putting himself to sleep.

_I thought I had someone who knew me for who I am and not who I was…I thought I could love him freely…but I guess I'm just the same foolish girl who woke up in a coffin. Dumb and oblivious!_

I continued to cry well into the night until I cried myself to sleep.

I dreamt of watching boats sail away that night. I stood on a decrepit patch of earth that slowly wasted away below my feet while the boats sailed to tall mountains made of gold. When I woke, I could feel the tears encrusted on my face and the puffiness around my eyes.

"Calen,"

The hundredth time I had been called out of my thoughts. I turned to see the person I wanted to see the LEAST. One look at Legolas and I flinched back like he was a giant spider! He had woken me up, judging by his hand on my shoulder, where was Aragorn to keep him away?!

"What is it?" He asked hurriedly at my unexpected reaction.

"N-nothing," I stuttered as I clambered to my feet, "I-I-I…I'm fine!"

_So convincing, Calen. _I scolded myself mentally.

"Are you certain?" he asked again, rising to meet me.

I only backed away with fear in my eyes. Mearokko was once again on it, and he stepped with a –thud- of a hoof in front of the elf prince, giving him a snort. Quickly and thankfully, I mounted him and rode off before I had to be in Legolas' presence any longer.

_Distance. That's the key. Distance. _I thought, gulping deep breaths.

Our journey to Helms Deep continued but it felt more like a body guard mission. Aragorn made sure he rode between Legolas and I and I made sure to keep my eyes ahead. Mearokko even made intimidating gestures to the horse Legolas rode if it tried to get near me. After long hours under the beating sun, I ventured a glance at the Prince of Mirkwood. He gave me a curious look that asked 'why?' and I foolishly gave him a glance that said 'I'm sorry'.

_Stupid! _I thought, fighting the urge to hit myself. _The goal is to push him AWAY not lead him on!_

Two riders straying from the group caught my eye. Something wasn't right. Legolas sensed it too as he dismounted and rushed off to check on it. I pulled Mearokko out of the current of people then halted him to see what was happening. The scream of a soldier and the shriek of a horse alerted the others. Legolas leapt out of sight and the sound of a bow being fired echoed through the valley. Aragorn was quick to dismount.

"Wait here," he muttered as he ran off.

The ranger stood a ways from the group until he turned, running back to us.

"Wargs!" he shouted, "We're under attack!"

Panic spread through the villagers and the order was soon made by the king for all riders to stay and fight. Aragorn mounted his horse once again then looked to me. I knew what he was going to say.

"If you think I'm not going to fight, you've gone mad!" I barked, spurring Mearokko into full gallop.

I had never seen a warg or fought on horseback but how hard could it be? It was just like fighting but with Mearokko, right? Well the wargs weren't as scary as Aragorn made them out to be. They were just oversized, spotted wolves with orcs riding them. There was what seemed to be a decade of suspense as the two forces ran at each other, weapons ready. As we got closer, I held the reign with one hand and held out my other, letting Claw unsheathe itself all the way.

Closer…

Closer…

_I can't do this! _I panicked.

The armies collided, and blood filled the air. It frightened me far more than the Mines but I just had to remember that in my past, I could fight. All I had to do was display it…

But I must've never learned horseback combat when I was The Raven. I still impaled wargs and sliced through heads but I found myself almost toppling off of Mearokko many times. Soon, however, the old cockiness of The Raven kicked in and I felt like I could take on anyone in battle! I ran recklessly at each opposing beast and cut them down; I didn't care if I was being reckless and almost falling off my horse. I had killed at least four riders when my sights set another many yards away.

_You'll be my fifth!_

Letting go of the reigns all together, I unsheathed Tooth, ready to strike. I was so close now, I could taste its fear!

**_BAM!_**

A warg rider had hit us head on.

Something big rammed into Mearokko and the world tilted on its side. The ground continued to rotate all around and I could hear my steed's screams as I rolled. Finally, I felt myself drop for half a second before I hit the ground. I was left there, trying to bring the air back into my lungs and blink the dizzying colors out of my eyes. For a while, I thought I was just dreaming but I soon snapped out of my daze and shakily got to my feet. The first thing I noticed wasn't the cuts pouring blood all over me, but that Mearokko wasn't anywhere. I had fallen off a small jutting rock, obscuring my sight of the battle…and what was about to come. My five senses were still recovering; I didn't hear him; my ears still rang. I didn't smell him, I could only smell blood. The orc launched itself at me and managed to pin me. A disgusting breath gagged my throat and a hideous face burned my eyes as the orc raised its cutlass.

At the last second, I slashed Claw at him, barely slashing his face but enough to make him bleed. Blood dripped into his eyes and he screeched as he staggered backwards, vigorously trying to wipe it out. Squinting my eyes to try and see past the dizziness, I ran clumsily at the monster. He easily blocked my blades and pushed me back, making me lose my footing. I would normally just do a flip and regain my balance but the earth felt like water beneath my feet. One moment I was looking down, searching for where I could safely regain my footing, and the next there was a cutlass jutting from my lower stomach!

…I just looked at it. It was strange. No pain. The shock must've been great if I didn't feel such a heavy blow! Hoping the shock would last a little longer, I took the opportunity to run Karka and Rakka through the orc's neck. A foul bubbling noise came from his mouth as crimson rushed from his lips. The beast fell and I was left, still in shock. Even when I took the blade out, no pain. The ringing in my ears blotting out the fight, I waited for the pain to come.

"Aaagh!" I screamed as a fire erupted from my stomach. It hurt more than anything I had ever felt!

Looking for Mearokko, I wandered aimlessly. I couldn't find him. I couldn't see anyone! The jutting rock I had been pushed over was on a slope which hid me from my companions. Letting agony take me, I collapsed under the jutting rock. I had to bite Tooth so I wouldn't cry out from the pain or vomit from the sight of so much blood gushing from me. The only signs of anguish were the tears that flowed shamelessly from my eyes. Desperately, I looked around, waiting for something to say 'USE ME' like it always does…but nothing spoke. I was truly alone. Except for the warg.

The rugged canine jumped in front of me, teeth bared. I tried to get up, but my body erupted in misery.

_I always knew I hated dogs. _I sighed, finding peace with myself. _But death is only the next adventure…_

A piercing whinny sounded and I saw Mearokko jump over me and land square on the canine! He trampled the dog until its body went limp. Then, like the overprotective stallion he was, he trotted over to me, running his muzzle over my face.

"Shhh…it's alright, boy," I whispered with a hoarse voice, "Get down, the last thing need is to be spotted by another warg,"

Mearokko laid down next to me obediently but still made nervous purrs with his throat. At last, the noise of battle subsided and I was left lying in silence. I thought that was where I would die, by my friend's side. But Mearokko wasn't one to give up.

"Mearokko?" I croaked as he stood up, "Don't you dare,"

But he did dare. That stallion tore off, back to the others, whinnying and screaming as he went.

"Please don't," I breathed, "They shouldn't have to see me die,"

**Audience POV (I guess…just no one's POV rly. Just your own)**

Legolas stood over the cliff at the raging rapids below. Aragorn couldn't be dead. He…he was the heir to the throne! The last of his bloodline!

"Get the wounded on horses," Theoden called to the remaining soldiers, "Leave the dead,"

Legolas shot a glare of disbelief at the king. He couldn't believe they would leave the King of Gondor's body…but there was no retrieving it anyway.

"Wasn't there another with you?" King Theoden asked, looking around, "The woman?"

"Calen," Gimli gasped in shock.

"Find her quickly," the King of Rohan ordered, "We must make haste!"

The dwarf and the elf scanned the battle field frantically for her and were about to check dead bodies when over the peak of a hill, came her horse. It bucked and reared in panic, frantically shaking its head and shrieking!

"Mearokko!" Legolas called, running for the horse and leaving Gimli in the dust.

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><p><strong>DundunDUUUUN! I love torturing my characters, don't you? Please review!<strong>


	24. I am Not

**The climax of Calen!**

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><p><strong>(Still in audience POV)<strong>

** (Bolded is in Elvish I'm too lazy to translate)**

Legolas skidded to a halt before the spook horse. He cautiously placed a hand on it, muttering calming Elvish words to the equine and it slowly eased itself.

**"Where is your mistress?" **he asked.

Mearokko turned tail and cantered down the slope from where he came and rounded a rock jutting from the side of the hill.

**(Back to Calen's POV)**

Out of my blurred eyes, Mearokko rounded the corner, urgently whinnying. A tall, lanky figure followed him and froze at the sight of me.

"Mearokko…no," I croaked.

The tall figure bent down and grasped my hand, squeezing so hard I thought my hand would fall off! Squinting to see, I could see the ocean…the sparkling ocean…wait…they were eyes! Legolas was barely visible between the stars and colors that danced in my vision.

"I'm dead…no hope…just go…" I managed to slur out my mouth.

"We ain't leavin' ya, lass," I heard Gimli's voice huff.

I tilted my head slowly to see the gruff dwarf, huffing and puffing, looking like he had run a long way.

"You'll make it to Helms Deep," Legolas observed as he examined the enormous, carved out abyss in my lower stomach that had slowly subsided bleeding (but I was still drowning in my own blood), "I will ride with Calen, can you ride alone Gimli?"

The dwarf only nodded. By now, my eyes were fogging again but I could still notice how our group lacked a ranger.

"Where's Aragorn?" I gasped weakly.

"Dina," Legolas said monotonously and quickly. (Be silent)

_They're not telling me something. _I thought with a rush of anxiety. _What could've happened to-_

I let out a quick yelp of pain as the elf picked me up. My stomach felt on fire again and now that I couldn't feel the ground beneath me, the world spun. I felt the elf run nimbly with me until I felt Mearokko between my legs. Two arms were placed around me as the elf gripped the reigns. The prince sat behind me, bringing the scent of the forest with him. I gladly let it fill me and take me. The sounds of hoof steps were replaced with the sound of swaying trees and singing birds. The taste of blood was replaced with the tanginess of wine. The feeling of searing pain was replaced with a soft breeze on my body and a soft bed under me.

I didn't feel like I was fleeing a battlefield. I was somewhere else now. I groggily opened my eyes and I saw that I wasn't on a horse anymore. Looking to my left, I saw the sunlight bleeding in through the emerald green trees. When I turned to my right, I saw that I was in a pavilion surrounded by woods, like the ones I admired in Rivendell. I looked down to see that my wound was gone and my sweaty adventurer's clothes were gone and replaced with a green dress. It reminded me of the one Galadriel wore. I also noticed I wasn't lying in my own blood but on a day bed with more pillows behind me than I needed! Still trying to take deep breaths and comprehend where I was, my eyes fell on him. The blonde elf prince sat at the edge of the bed, watching me with thankful eyes; as if he was relieved I had woken. He wore a grey robe, it looked beautiful on him. I never thought he could look any more stunning but with all the weariness and grime of travelling off him, I thought my heart would stop at the sight of him.

"Am I dead?" I asked, barely a whisper.

"Far from it," Legolas smiled, his deep voice making me feel safe.

His green robed arm reached towards me and caressed my cheek. It felt warm on my cold skin and the fabric of his robe felt divine.

_If this is a dream, I hope I never wake up. _I thought.

Gracefully, I lifted myself up to meet his immaculate face. His eyes alone were enough to stop my heart! I felt his arms wrap all the way around my waist, holding me closer to him.

"I told you I would not let you die," he whispered to me, his eyes locked to mine.

Everything was perfect. I still knew this was a dream but yet…it felt so real! Just as I was starting to get lost in his sapphire eyes, I heard a squawk. My head flinched to the side to see a raven hopping around outside the white pavilion. It looked at me and cawed again before flying off. Then I knew. Turning back to Legolas, I looked in his eyes again but not in the same way.

"You're not real…" I murmured faintly, making him look at me with worry.

"What is it?" he asked, placing a hand on my cheek.

Pushing him away, I screamed, "YOU'RE NOT REAL!"

With that, I shoved my palm into his face and I watched as his body dissolved into ash. In a mixture of horror, shock, and confusion, I staggered off the bed, clenching my head in my hands.

"N-NONE OF THIS IS REAL!" I screeched.

One stomp of my foot and the peaceful forest setting shattered like glass and fell into darkness below me. I was left standing in a black void, a rage adding onto the mixture of feelings.

"_I _AM NOT REAL!" I howled.

My hands flew to the neckline of the dress and I slowly began to rip it off my body. Once I had ripped the elegant gown to pieces, I let it fall into the abyss as well. But I wasn't done, oh no, I still wasn't real. Not yet. With fury shaking my hands, I lunged for my scalp! With what nubby fingernails I had left, I dug into the top of my scalp, feeling warm, slushy blood bubble up from it. Wailing in pain, I ripped the skin apart, slowly peeling it off. Soon, my skin had come off my face and my head's fleshy muscles were exposed. I tossed the skin into the abyss too, watching strands of blood and hair follow it. Next, I went at my arms, grotesquely pulling the flesh off the left and right. Down into the abyss went the skin from my arms, my legs, my stomach, my back!

I screeched and fell to my knees once all the skin had been ripped free. Something else was growing in its place. Black needles shot out from under my exposed muscle tissue! My screeches turned into squawks and the biggest needle protruding from my mouth split into two parts that moved apart when I screamed. It was a beak. The other, smaller needles bulging from my skin grew fur, no, _feathers_. They were as black as the limbo I was in and they soon covered my entire body.

_What am I?! _I thought, turning my now heavy and feathered body around.

There was a mirror now behind me and when I looked into it, I saw vomit sludge from my beak at the sight of my reflection. I walked on two…legs…if you could even call them that! They were so heavily covered with feathers like the rest of my body that my jagged talons barely poked out from the bottom. My arms were hanging wings but they were far too big for me to lift so they only hung at my sides like useless corpses. My face was hideous, so many feathers that I couldn't even see my eyes!

_What am I?! _

My reflection moved on its own accord, reaching a limp wing towards me.

_What am I?!_

The creature in the mirror slowly limped toward me, careening as it went, wing still outstretched.

_What am I?!_

There was no more mirror, the monstrosity's feather almost touched my beak.

_WHO AM I!?_

My whole body lurched, sitting bolt upright! A scream would've been released but it got caught in my throat. I shook, I sweated, my heart pounded faster than I thought possible, I breathed like a laboring woman, and I was scared. Then a familiar pang of fire passed through my stomach making me wince and grind my teeth. Carefully removing the bed sheet, I saw my injury had been stitched up and bandaged but it still hurt like hell! Slowly, I rested against the back board of the bed and took a long while to calm myself down. When my breathing slowed to a slight panic rather than a full on anxiety attack, I decided to look around. I was in a bed, surrounded by other beds of sick looking people. I had made it to Helms Deep. Some of them I recognized as Riders of Rohan who fought with us against the wargs. Looks like they got hurt as badly as I did.

It looked like the others had left me here to be healed. How long I had been out, I couldn't say. With a nightmare like that, who knows how long! My heart rate starting to escalate again, I asked myself again.

_Who am I?_

My green eyes slowly inched toward Tooth and Claw, sitting on an end table next to my bed.

_I am not Calen._


	25. Amnesia Banished

**I have a few things to address before we start the chapter. First of all, the last chapter was, in my opinion, the best I've written! Yay! I hope it made you want to vomit from its scariness! lol jk**

**So I've started uploading another story called Our Realm, an Ouran Highschool Host Club fanfic (yes, another) but I haven't abandoned this story. I'll be updating that one more because I have lots of chapters written in advance for it while I'm still trying to keep this one on an 'updated once a week' schedule. However, I'm one chapter ahead so I decided upload this one.**

**I also forgot to do the first time review shout outs so...shout out to yuuki91, AriellaSerenity, ElvithienAranel, and Raider-K! You're reviews mean a lot to me. Btw, so sorry if I forgot a first time reviewer or I repeated you. I'm a bit off from forgetting to do them last time.**

**Another thing, no I don't know how amnesia works but I just invented my own laws of amnesia psychology of Middle Earth, hope you like its twisted ways. If you're confused about how she recovered from amnesia, the trauma of near death revived her memories. Well then, let's find out who Calen really is!**

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><p>Have you ever recovered from amnesia? It's not an enjoyable experience. It doesn't just click and you remember everything, you have to let every memory you ever had come back in a jumble. Random childhood memories and feelings flooded my brain. For one second I'd be remembering an old friend and the next I'd be recalling a near death experience! It was coming too fast- The Raven's thoughts were coming too fast for me to keep up with! Although I was beginning to remember, I couldn't put one memory with another! I still didn't know who I was! The only thing I did know was that I was not Calen. Adrenaline numbing my pain, I jumped out of my bed, shoved Karka and Rakka on my hands and began surveying the room around me.<p>

'Use me!' a wall across the room said. I looked to the wall and there, at the top of it was a tiny window. Breaking into a sprint, I scaled the wall and just scraped through the tiny window. I dropped down from the window. Helms Deep was like a cage filled with people! It was so enclosed and stuffy!

_I have to get out of here! Have to escape! _Were my thoughts, still unsure of who I really was. _Find my horse! I have to find my horse! Wh-who is my horse?! Who is my horse again?!_

With adrenaline still pushing me, I ran across the deserted street and climbed a wall. Running along it, I looked for a place where they might keep horses but I didn't see a trace. I dove across more streets, balanced across walls, scaled towers, and I found myself running down a narrow alley way. When I rounded a corner, I saw a balcony, looking over the valley beyond the Deep. There, on that balcony, were my companions but at the time but I wasn't sure who they were. I had a vague idea that they were my traveling partners but with all these memories clambering for a spot in my brain, I couldn't say exactly who they were.

The three looked shocked to see me up considering the blow I had on my stomach.

"Calen?!" Aragorn gasped, standing up, "What are you doing up?"

I tried to say something but nothing came out. He started to walk towards me but when he was a yard away, I unsheathed Claw.

"S-s-stay back!" I warned, my voice shaking in fear.

"You should be resting…" he began to say as he came closer.

Sloppily, I swung Claw at him which he easily dodged then grabbed my arm.

"Calen, calm down…" he tried to speak again but I responded by cutting him off with a swing from Tooth.

That made him let go and I took the opportunity to run! Confusion took my mind as I blindly bolted through the night, trying to make sense of the new me.

**(No one's POV)**

Calen bolted from the ranger's grasp, speeding off into the darkness.

"She's in shock, if she runs any further she'll reopen her wound," Aragorn announced to his friends, "Gimli, go to the sick bay and tell them to be ready to receive a resisting patient. Legolas come with me, I'll need help catching her."

The ranger and the elf were soon in hot pursuit of their friend.

**(Calen's POV)**

_This memory goes here and that happened after that! There! Perfect! No! NO! That's not right!_

Every time I tried to piece a new memory together with another nothing worked. Remembering was a lot harder than I thought it would!

_Just keep running and you'll remember! Yes, yes, that's right just run!_

My swift movements weren't the only ones I heard. I turned and my bloodshot eyes spotted the elf, sprinting after me. Was he calling my name? All I could hear was the blood rushing inside me.

_Run and you'll remember….that's right…hehe… _I thought like a madwoman.

Noticing he was gaining, I took a sharp turn and scaled a stone wall, my hands desperately grasping for jutting stone to grab. When I reached the top, a rope that stretched across two walls spoke to me and I darted across it. When I made it across I turned only to see the elf even closer! Damn, he was fast! With a burst of adrenaline, I took a gravity defying leap and landed on the roof of a house. When I landed, a sharp pain resounded in my stomach, making me keel over. It was only when I heard the elf land behind me that I snapped out of it. Franticly, I broke into a run again, ignoring the blood that began to drip from beneath my shirt. I rolled off the roof (more pain) and half stumbled down the street. When I turned, he was only a yard away and I could hear his breath. In one last attempt, I took a sharp turn down another street but I didn't see what was coming.

The Ranger grabbed me and tackled me to the ground.

"Calen, you need to calm down!" he yelled but I only began screaming in protest.

I tried to swipe Tooth and Claw at him but I couldn't move my hands from my bleeding body, it hurt too much.

"The more you move, the more the wound will reopen!" he tried to reason with me.

I responded with a kick that he easily dodged. Then I fought against the fire in my stomach and threw Claw at him, fully unsheathed. That got him and left a shallow scratch mark across his face as if a cat had gotten him. He stumbled back a little and I got up clumsily, holding my gloves at the ready against the elf. Then there was a dull pain on my head and I hit the cold stone.

**(No one's POV)**

"Was that really necessary?" Legolas asked Gimli skeptically.

"Well she wasn't calming down anytime soon," he huffed, "A sharp hit to the head with an axe handle seemed only logical,"

**(Calen's POV)**

** Click. **Like a puzzle, everything fit now.

My eyes cracked open ever so slightly and they were clouded by that sticky stuff you get in them when you sleep in too late. Then I felt fresh stitches on my stomach and a killing pain in it too!

"Shit…" I groaned as I pried my eyes open the rest of the way.

"Calen?" came a voice but my ears still seemed fogged.

_That's right. _

I lunged in my bed to get up and kill them all but I didn't make it off an inch from the bed before I was thrust back down. My hands were bound. Great.

"Looks like those were a good idea after all," I heard a gruff voice. Gimli.

"Calen, can you hear me?" the first voice spoke again but this time I recognized it. Aragorn.

When my eyes cleared up of the goo and I saw a blonde elf.

"You!" I spat, trying to move again.

He seemed a little taken back. He didn't know yet. I only sighed and laid back down, looking at Aragorn.

"You went into shock, do you remember?" he asked with a concerned expression.

Isn't it great when you know something that no one else in the room knows? I grinned like a cat and began chuckling.

"Oh yes," I giggled mischievously, looking up at the ceiling, "I remember EVERYTHING!"

Silence cascaded across the room and I waited for someone to make their move. The girl they thought they knew this whole journey wasn't the girl they knew anymore!

"…What is your name?" Aragorn finally asked.

"My name is Ren and I am The Raven," I said smugly.

The Fellowship had been horrified by my recovery! They never expected to see me remember who I was! Most likely it was the trauma that caused my old memories to resurface. Instead of speaking, Aragorn signaled for them to leave the room, leaving me tied to the bed (I swear it felt so wrong!). Legolas looked the most mortified. When their urgent voices faded away down the hall, I began wriggling. I managed to put my knees up and just barely lift my body up. From there, I sawed my hands back and forth, slowly wearing away the rope under the bed. Soon, it became frayed enough for me to snap and then it was only a simple matter of undoing the knots. I grabbed my Elvish gloves and slipped into the hallway. All I had to do was follow the sound of an argument that echoed through the palace and I soon found my "friends".

Flattening my back against the hallway wall, I peered into a throne room to see Aragorn confronting the King of Rohan with Gimli and Legolas at his back.

"She may be an enemy to your people but she is bound under oath to compensate for her crimes," Aragorn reasoned.

Looks like they had told him the whole story.

"If what you say is true and she remembers everything, what says that she won't break that oath and revert to her old ways," Theoden responded coldly.

"She can fight for us…" Aragorn spoke up before being cut off.

"An army will be here by nightfall to slaughter my people!" the king roared, "The last thing I need is a potential assassin amongst my forces!"

"And what do you propose to do with me then?" I asked roguishly as I stepped out from the shadows.

The Fellowship turned in surprise to see me up and the king jumped to his feet, gripping the hilt of his sword.

"Throw me in a dungeon?" I suggested, "Lock me away? Kill me?"

I strode nonchalantly into the hall then stopped before the king's throne, "Correct me if I'm wrong but you were never able to succeed in any of those in the past,"

"Calen…" Aragorn whispered to me in warning.

"It's Ren," I replied bluntly without turning to him.

Theoden took a few deep breaths before calming down and sitting back on his throne.

"At least let her tell her story," Aragorn pleaded.

"What story?" I turned to him with a confused face, "Doesn't he already know everything?"

"He does not know yet the tale of The Raven," Aragorn replied, "Nor do we,"

I scanned the Fellowship, they all looked at me with the same love they always did. But why? Why did I deserve that? I wasn't Calen anymore!

"Alright," I heaved a heavy sigh, "Get comfortable, this could take a while…"

(Underlined is Ren's past story. I'll be telling it to you like I have told you this fic so far but just imagine Ren telling it to her companions)

I was taught when I was very young to take whatever I wanted. However back then, I didn't have a need for thievery. I could afford a kingdom eight times over and I could empty an entire store in one day! My father was of wealthy nobility in a small city on the border of Rohan. He coddled me well into my young adult years and it was in fact him who taught me to take whatever I wanted. My mother wasn't around to teach me better. She was an elf but her immortality didn't last as she died a week after I was born. However my father and I had one more trait that made us so both of us were half elf which is why I'm so dexterous today. My great great great great…so on grandmother was an elf and eventually, man was mixed into our family tree. It wasn't just because my mom was an elf, it was deeper than that.

Growing up, I never had any real friends. The others only wanted to be in my company because of my wealth and title. Eventually I let go of the silly notion of friends and I focused on a more important thing: arranged marriage. But somewhere along the lines, I forgot what "arranged" meant and thought I'd have the liberty to choose whoever I wanted. At age 19, I found out my father had arranged for me to marry someone in less than a month. I didn't take it too seriously, I was sure whoever my father gave me to would be the right man for me. Except he was abusive. I barely ever spoke a word to him because he would shut me up with a quick blow to the face. In under seven days, I grew spiteful. But then I remembered my father's words: "Whatever you want, take it".

They were trying to take my life away so I was going to take theirs. It was only a simple matter of sneaking into my father's chambers at night, slitting his throat, stealing a horse, and riding into my new life! My first few days on my own were terrible! I soon resorted to begging and one night, when I was laying by the side of the street, letting my stomach eat itself, I saw her.

"Hey," she said, poking me on the shoulder.

My mud smeared face peeled itself off the ground and I looked up to see a freckled face girl. She had long, curly red hair and sparkling green eyes.

"Come with me," she whispered.

I was in no place to object. I hadn't eaten in days and hadn't had a bath in longer! I trudged behind her as she led me into a narrow alley on the outskirts of the town. I had to go sideways down the alley it was so skinny! Finally, she crawled into a little sewer hole in the side of the wall which, rather than taking us outside the city, led to a small room. We both had to hunch over so our heads wouldn't brush against the slimy ceiling.

"It's not much," the girl said as I looked around.

There was a pile of rags that had an imprint of a body in it so it was probably where she slept. On the other side was a crate with a few coins and flawed jewels.

"But I'm willing to share it," she offered.

I only looked back at her and asked, "Do you have any food?"

I dismissed all manners I was ever taught and tore away at the loaf of bread like a wolf on the floor while the girl sat down next to me.

"What's your name?" she asked.

Too caught up in eating, I didn't reply so she only shrugged.

"My name is Shalen,"

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><p><strong>Whaaaat?! Shalen knew Ren before she became Calen?! This will be cleared up eventually, don't worry. Next time, we get to learn more about Ren's back story! Yaaay!<strong>


	26. The Heirloom

**Thank u for all of your reviews. I'm very sorry if this whole "Ren" thing took you off guard but I promise I'm not dropping Calen entirely and Ren certainly hasn't forgotten her. Just be patient, she'll still be a major part to the story! Underlined text is flashback.**

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><p><span>"My name is Shalen," she introduced herself, "My parents abandoned me in this town and I've been a street rat ever since. I stay alive by picking pockets,"<span>

Licking my lips of the excess flower, I asked, "Is that what that money is from,"

"Yes," she smiled triumphantly, "I stole that fortune all by myself,"

"I wouldn't call it a fortune…" I muttered under my breath then said, "I'm Ren…why did you help me?"

"You reminded of me when my parents left me, I couldn't turn away myself," she smiled.

"…Well thank you," I muttered.

"Where do you hail from?"

I told her my city and my title but rather than gawking or asking to bow down at my feet she just stared at me expectantly.

"And that meeeaaans….what?" she laughed, unsure of what to make of my nobility.

"You don't know of my nobility!?" I almost shrieked at her then I sighed, "Well what else can I expect from a street urchin?"

"The pot shouldn't call the kettle black," Shalen said with a now serious tone, "And you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you 'Miss Nobility',"

I only stuck out my lower lip and turned away.

"If you act like this life is so bad then how did you end up like this?" Shalen asked.

Looking over my mucky body, I scowled at my "new" life.

"I killed my father for trying to make me marry an abusive psychopath," I spat.

For a moment, Shalen didn't reply from the surprise that just fell out of my mouth!

"Uh…wow," she breathed, "Well that makes my story look pretty silly, huh?"

"You have no idea," I scowled.

The red head stood up, placed her hands on her hips, and looked down on me.

"You better stop being such a sour puss," she scolded like a mother, "Because I've made up my mind. Starting today, you'll stay with me and we'll carry each other's' weight through petty theft! What do you say?"

Shalen held out a hand to me. I looked at her grimy hand. I'd usually crinkle my nose at the sight of such an atrocity but at this point, I looked the same. Then I looked back up to her determined, green eyes. Shalen flexed and un-flexed her hand with impatience.

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><p><span>"YES!" I squealed with delight as I hit the ground.<span>

Shalen jumped from the window after me and landed next to me.

"Ren! Shhh!" Shalen hissed, "You're going to give us away!"

"Lighten up, that fool is as drunk as a…" I cockily said but stopped to think of a simile, "As a person who can't think of a simile!"

"You mean like you?" Shalen whispered playfully to me through the night air.

"Shut up," I responded in kind, punching her in the arm.

"But we should get out of here," Shalen warned.

"Yeah, yeah!" I snapped, putting my hood up.

The two of us ran into the shadows, dodging through the skinny streets of Rivendell. After a bit of sneak-sprinting, we stopped under an empty pavilion to check out our loot.

"We're rich," Shalen smirked as she held up two bags of gold coins which we had stuffed with cotton balls so they wouldn't jingle.

"Can that compare to _these?" _I asked and pulled out two gloves.

They were bulky and I could feel metal inside them. On them were engraved Elvish characters.

"Karka and Rakka: Tooth and Claw," Shalen whispered to herself as she read the engravings on them, "What are they,"

"Remember our first heist?" I asked.

"Yeah, it took us almost a year of petty theft to get up to that level of crime,"

"And I explained to you why I was so agile?"

"Because you had Elvish mixed in your blood line?"

"Yes," I explained, "But the woman to start my bloodline was an elleth. She fought in the war of Sauron and the Elves with these gloves and passed them down through the generations. It wasn't until recently that my mother decided not to pass them down. She was an elf but she, for whatever reason, didn't want a human to have an Elvish antiquity…although we've had humans in our family possess them in the past. But anyways, she gifted them to Lord Elrond but now I'm taking them back!"

"So this really isn't stealing?" Shalen mused, "But just taking back what's yours?"

"Exactly," I replied evilly.

In the midst of our "story time" a guard spotted us and was now calling for back up. Shalen and I took off once again, not caring about trying to stay hidden anymore. I could've easily out run them all because I was half elf but I had to be creative with Shalen: she wasn't as fast.

"Where are you going?" Shalen called as I took a sharp left.

"Just come on!" I called back.

I knew I had to be even MORE creative when an arrow landed with a –thunk- just an inch from my foot! I grabbed Shalen's wrist and yanked her back to the east! By the time we reached a dead end of a wall that bordered the city, we could hear the Elvish footsteps drawing ever closer!

"Shit, shit, shit," I cursed under my breath, looking around for something.

My eyes caught a ladder that just poked over the wall. Now I knew ladders couldn't talk but I felt as if it was telling me to use it!

"That ladder wants me to use it," I grinned almost like a maniac.

"Well that's not very helpful! There's no jutting stones to scale this wall with let alone reach the ladder!" Shalen cried.

Then she stopped and turned to me with an epiphany dawning in her mind.

"The gloves!" she exclaimed, "Use the gloves!"

"I don't know what they do!" I shouted.

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE WE HAVE ANOTHER OPTION!?" 

I shoved my new gloves on and as I clenched my fists within them, praying for a miracle…

**-Shink-**

Three hooked blades each unsheathed from the gloves at a neck breaking speed, making the both of us jump back! It only took one glance at Shalen to know what to do. I leapt at the wall and dug the blades into the stone, quickly climbing it as fast as I could. When I reached the top, I threw the ladder down! Shalen climbed it just in time for an arrow to hit her in the back of the thigh! She wailed in pain but kept climbing. I hauled her up the rest of the way, and to desperately avoid another few arrows, I jumped from the wall, holding the girl close to me, and gripped a tree with Tooth and Claw.

Our combined weight let us slowly descend, Tooth and Claw leaving sratch marks as they went.

"Can you walk?" I asked Shalen as she stumbled to stay up.

She only nodded and threw an arm around me. Together, we half limped, half ran into the woods. If it weren't for the fact of me being half elf, we would've never escaped.

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><p><span>I flexed my hands in and out, watching Tooth and Claw's blades move in and out. The noise they made was satisfying and I could get used to it. I finally had the heirloom I always wanted. After all, I was taught to take whatever I wanted.<span>

_But now what will I do? What else is there for me to want? _I thought, taking the gloves and placing them on the dusty floorboards. The inn wasn't the nicest I had stayed in but you couldn't blame me for complaining, I used to live in a palace after all and I didn't have time to be choosy when I wandered into the town, looking for a place that would take an unconscious red head with an arrow sticking out of her. I had to pay for the room, double to keep them quiet of our whereabouts (can't have elves on our asses now can we?), triple for them to send for a healer, and quadruple to pay the healer. So all the gold we stole from Rivendell was gone but at least it went to a good cause.

"Ren, where am I?" I heard Shalen croak and I turned to see her still lying on the bed but looking at me with an irritated face.

"A town," I shrugged, deep in thought.

"Where did I get shot?" she asked.

"Why don't you try moving and find out?" I joked.

Shalen didn't laugh.

"Lower right thigh, but don't worry, I got you fixed up," I reassured her, "But it cost all our money we stole from those immortal snobs,"

"As long as we're alive," she smiled, "Why do you always call elves that?"

"Well they think just because they're immortal they can look down on everyone else," I sighed, pushing a strand of black hair behind my ear, "Just look at my mother. Because my father and I were mortal, she deemed us 'unworthy' to wield Karka and Rakka."

"They kind of bug me too," Shalen giggled faintly, "But I like that term: 'immortal snobs'. It's funny…"

…

"Shalen…I've been thinking, we've been planning that heist since our first heist. We saved every last coin on building up for supplies to make it work but now that it's over…" I stumbled through my words.

"…You don't know where to go," Shalen finished for me.

I nodded at her, thankful for her understanding.

"Why don't you sleep on it and we can decide in the morning?" Shalen suggested with a yawn, "It's been a mad night,"

As I took the bed adjacent to hers, I thought back to the first day I met her. Shalen had always been there for me, supporting every decision I ever made. I owed her my life. Without her, I would've died that night on the side of the road.

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><p><strong>RR!**


	27. The Raven

**Underlined is flashback. And yes this is another flashback chapter. I realize Ren isn't being very well accepted so after a few chapters, I'll be calling her Calen again. HUGE shoutout to lizziecats for her EPIC suggestion and while I don't want to use all of it for the sake of being original, I will be taking her advice and have Ren ask if she can still be their Calen.**

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><p><span>I pushed my way through the crowd of bounty hunters, Shalen guiding me by the hand. When we waded through the sea of men, she pointed to a piece of parchment on the wanted board. It was a rough sketch of a hooded man and underneath it read, "The Raven". At first I thought was any ordinary outlaw but when I looked closer, I saw the charges against him.<span>

**The Raven**

**Wanted dead or alive**

**Reward: 100 gold**

**Charged for the crime of petty theft, heists in several towns, and for the theft of a royal treasury in Rivendell**

Shalen and I quickly darted out of the crowd of bounty hunters and found a nice back alley to talk in.

"Ren!" Shalen scolded, "Stop laughing, this is serious!"

Between repressed cackles, I sputtered, "They think…I-I'm a MAN!?"

"Ren! When you're ready to take this seriously, then we can talk!" she talked like a mother.

"Alright…alright," I said, pushing down giggles, "I'm serious now,"

It took only a matter of seconds for me to burst into laughter again. I heard an exasperated sigh come from Shalen. Finally, I got all the laughter out of me and found my composure once again.

"Now this isn't so bad," Shalen said calmly, "They think you're a man because they don't have an appearance to go off of. But if we continue stealing from big name places like Rivendell, we might slip up and then they will be drawing your face on that parchment!"

"Relax, Shalen," I retorted coolly, placing a hand on her shoulder, "We won't slip up again,"

"We almost got caught in Rivendell!" she hissed, clenching her fists at me.

"But we didn't" I replied, "It can only get better from here and I know how it will,"

Shalen only raised a skeptical eye brow at me.

"I decided what it is we should strive for next!"

The skeptical eye brow stayed raised. I leaned in close to her, my nose almost touching hers.

"I want to start a guild of thieves," I whispered.

Her green eyes might as well had flames bursting from them she looked so angry! Instead of saying anything, she dragged me back to the inn, had us check out, haul me out to the forest, and find a little cave in the middle of nowhere.

"ARE YOU CRAZY!?" she screamed.

She had taken me out there so we wouldn't've caused a scene in town. I was shocked to see this side of Shalen! I tried everything I could to smooth the idea over.

"If we create a guild that's big enough, we might not even have to go on heists! We'd have enough thieves to do it on their own! We'd share the wealth, have an organized system!" I tried to make the idea sound appealing.

She looked like she was starting to calm down a bit.

"You could be the second in command!" I told her.

She only leaned against the cave wall, her sigh echoing through the cavern. She took a moment to herself before turning back to me.

"I would normally support this because you're my friend. But you do realize why I am hesitant about this, right?" she asked.

"Because we were almost caught in Rivendell," I answered.

"Yes. And because we chose to do such a grand heist in such a grand city, it put us on the map. Now you're wanted and I'm afraid they'll find a _real _drawing of you to put on those wanted signs," she said, looking as terrified as ever.

I realized her annoying fretting and resistance wasn't for nothing. She wanted to protect me, to make sure that nothing bad would happen to me again when it was her who got shot! How selfless was she?!

I had calmed down too. Taking both her hands, I looked her dead in the eyes.

"I know you're scared. But we'll never know if we don't try," I said, almost a whisper.

"But if we fail, you could die…that girl I found in the mud won't be with me anymore," she said with tears in her eyes, "I won't have a friend anymore…"

"Let me just try," I begged, "Let's just assemble…three more- just three more thieves! We can pull a heist or two and if it proves that our numbers are dangerous than we can forget about it. We can leave it all, go back to petty theft just like the good old days,"

We were like sisters. Shalen was always younger than me but she acted so much older, having more reason and wanting to protect me. I was her little raven in the mud and she didn't want to lose me. But all ravens have to fly.

"So where do we start?" Shalen asked as we trudged through the forest.

"I believe there's a town about a day away," I thought aloud, "We can start looking there,"

"What kind of people are we looking for?" she continued to question me.

"Anyone with talent," I shrugged.

"What kind of talent?"

"Talent for stealing," I replied bluntly, getting annoyed with her constant nagging.

The town was like the one before, shabby and a hole in the wall. The first place we checked was the main hub of any civilization: the tavern.

"What about him?" Shalen asked, pointing to man as we took our seat.

He had a huge sword by his right side and a morning star mace at his left.

"He'd wouldn't survive a minute out in the field. He's not the sneaky type," I scowled as I looked him over.

"Can I get you two anything?" a woman asked, stopping by our table. Looks like she worked there.

She looked like me, black hair, green eyes, around age 21, but she was much taller! Her legs were longer than her body and her fingers were slender enough to fit into a key hole. I realized that we were staring and making her feel strange so I simply asked for some ale.

"But I don't like ale," Shalen whispered.

"Shut up!" I hissed, still watching the woman as she walked off.

I watched her grab some mugs off the wall with ease and begin filling them up. She moved in a strange way, her feet stepping only a foot apart from one another. The woman never left the spot she was standing in, only turning, and grabbing different things for the customers.

"Ren…" Shalen tried to snap me out of it but I waved my hand at her to shoo.

"She moves as if she's in combat," I whispered to myself.

When she walked back to us, balancing eight drinks on a single tray, I took one of our gold coins and threw it at her! A normal person wouldn't see such a small thing coming and it would bounce right off them. Even if the average human had seen it coming, they would've ducked or jumped out of the way. She only turned to her side, letting it sail past her! Now I knew, she had been in a fight before.

"What was that for?" she asked with a very confused look.

I turned to Shalen and winked, signaling that she was our candidate.

"Nothing, I just saw a fly," I joked but the woman continued to stare at me suspiciously.

Then she gave us our drinks and continued with her job as I continued to watch. As soon as she was on the other side of the room, Shalen and I huddled close across the table.

"She's the one! She's perfect!" I squealed with delight, "Did you see her perfect form? Her flawless stance!? Oh I'd love to see her working with us!"

Shalen and I staked out until she finished her shift. As she walked out of the tavern, Shalen and I got up casually and sauntered after her. We stalked her in the dark, waiting for the right opportunity to approach her. But somewhere, she noticed us but we didn't notice that she had.

"Uh…where did she go?" Shalen asked as we looked around for her.

I didn't get a chance to respond before a hand grabbed my neck and thrust me against a wall, my feet not even touching the ground as she held me in a chokehold.

"Why are you following me?!" she demanded.

Shalen was about to launch a counterattack but the woman pulled out a dagger and held it out to her in warning.

Overwhelmed by her strength, I managed to sputter, "You're AMAZING!"

"What?" she turned to me in confusion.

"Where did you learn this hold? How are you so tall?" I continued to ask away in a choked voice.

She fumbled with her voice for a second, unsure as to how to respond before she went back to square one.

"You didn't answer my question! Why are you following me?!" she demanded again.

"Put me down and I'll tell you," I smirked.

Her green eyes eyed me suspiciously before she released my neck, letting me fall to the floor. I immediately stood up and beamed at her like a child does to their idol.

"Where did you learn to do that? You're so strong! And stealthy too, we didn't hear you coming up on us!" I grinned, examining her long and slightly muscular arms.

Almost self-consciously, she hugged herself.

"Just answer my question," she spat.

"Let me answer your question with a question," I said slyly, crossing my arms.

I could tell she was getting fed up with me.

"How would you like to work with the Raven?" I asked.

It was her turn to fawn over me.

"You know him!? I could work for him? Really!?" she gasped, her insulted face turning into a happy one.

It felt so good when you knew something the other person didn't know. I struck a cocky pose and announced, "I _am _The Raven,"

Her jaw dropped in shock.

"Y-you're The Raven?" she gaped, "You're a woman?! That's amazing!"

"I know, I know, I'm amazing," I sighed, enjoying the praise.

I heard Shalen clear her throat and when I turned to look at her, she looked insultingly neglected.

"And this is my friend, Shalen," I introduced my red-headed friend as I threw an arm around her shoulder.

"My name is Eila," she told us, not hesitating to give away her name, "I'm skilled at throwing knives and stealth. I've always wanted to work under a famous theif!"

Then I realized. She was selling herself to us. I was such a legend in her eyes that she would do anything to work with me! If I could build up more of a reputation, I'd have thieves begging to work with me left and right!

"There's no need to try and prove yourself," Shalen reassured her, saying the opposite of what I was thinking, "We already observed your foot work and sneaking skills. You're very impressive,"

"Thank you," Eila breathed, a grin still on her face, so shocked that legends were talking to her.

There was an awkward silence.

"U-uh, I'll go pack my things!" she exclaimed.

"Wait!" Shalen spoke up, holding out a hand, "You just want to leave everything behind?"

Eila looked as if the answer was so obvious, "This town stinks. There's nothing here for me but enough money to keep me alive and daily sexual harassment,"

"Well then what are you waiting for? Go, get! We'll be waiting here for you!" I shooed her away playfully.

Eila excitedly nodded and ran off into the night.

"See, that wasn't so bad," I shrugged, turning to Shalen.

"I thought she was going to kill you for a moment," Shalen gave a sigh of relief.

"As I said," I smiled, staring off into the darkness, "It can only get better from here,"


	28. Eila

**Underlined is flashback.**

* * *

><p>"So that's it," I shrugged, "From there, I gathered more and more thieves until I formed a guild. All went well until there was a mutiny which is the reason I got amnesia and forgot who I was,"<p>

The Fellowship looked enthralled with my story but the king looked so conflicted! He just sat there, looking me over as a heavy decision weighed his mind. He spoke after a long silence.

"I cannot allow a murder amongst my ranks," he said sternly.

I could feel the Fellowship's eagerness to jump to my defense but Theoden held up a hand to silence them.

_So what are they going to do with me? _I thought.

That was soon answered as two guards firmly grabbed my arms. My thief instincts immediately activated and I began to struggle. To the guards' surprise, I was more slippery than I looked and it took another two guards to restrain me. It came to a point where I was all out thrashing and even biting!

"Don't fight them, Calen!" Aragorn called to me with apologetic eyes.

He called me Calen again.

"He'll have you released when the battle is over!"

"You'll all be dead by then!" I screamed, strands of my raven hair falling over my face.

Then the truth came crashing back to them. They would die in The Deep no matter what hope they had, they wouldn't survive.

"You'll all be DEAD!" I continued to wail as they dragged me off.

I hoped I had scared the elf. I was used to being hurled into cells and my body hitting the cold stone felt like the old heists that I used to mess up. Waiting for the guards to leave, I lay there, listening for their footsteps to fade and for me to make my move.

_Almost gone…almost gone… _I thought to myself, slowly getting up. _Aaaaand…NOW!_

I flung my face into my hands, sobbing hysterically in a violent rhythm. My shoulders heaved up and down and my whole body shook in despair. It wasn't the isolation nor the betrayal that made me weep so terribly. The moment I pieced my memories back together, I felt that one sin hit me like a waterfall. I had kept the guilt of it in so the others wouldn't see me cry but I just couldn't finish the story in any more detail than when I started. The deeper I got…the more likely I was to break down in front of them. But now that I was alone, no one would see me cry. Part of me wish I was still Calen, innocent and unaware of her past.

"I'm s-so sorry, Eila," I hiccupped, "I'm so sorry…"

My cries echoed through the empty prison, making me feel that much more alone. I had forgotten about my companions: I was alone again. Besides, they would never accept Ren, only Calen. Even Shalen who had the tenacity to not tell me who I truly was wouldn't accept me. If she truly wanted Ren back, she would've recovered my memories besides replacing them with new ones! I was the same little raven in the mud that I was so many years ago. Unwanted and abandoned. But this time, no one came for me.

* * *

><p>I fell asleep. After so many long days of endless travel, I was finally able to have a restful sleep without keeping an eye open for wargs. But even as I awoke, my sin was still there, dwelling in my mind. It almost pained me to wake up and face it again. As I pushed my tear-stained face off the floor, I heard marching outside my small window. Pushing my forehead against the bars of the small window, I looked down to see all the women and children of Rohan solemnly walking into the caves for safety. I realized why the king stashed me here and not the cave with his people. He was still afraid of me, afraid that I would lash out and kill his own citizens. He'd rather have me die than tarnish the innocence of his people with my presence. The thought made me feel disgusting and unwanted all over again so I took to huddling in a corner.<p>

_It could only get better from there. That's what I told her. _I thought, thinking back to the past once more. _And I thought it was getting better. But it only got worse._

* * *

><p><span>It took a few years for me to build up a band of thieves and another year to renovate a cave system into our hideout. But it was all worth it as we became the most feared guild of thieves in Middle Earth. We had a total of 58 members and I had even devised a system to keep them all organized. We were the most fearsome band of thieves that ever lived! I sat in my office, jewels and coins scattered on my desk and piles of parchment with heist plans scribbled on them. I had just settled down to double check a plan one of the guild members gave me, when my door was so rudely flung open. Shalen and Eila stormed in, looking as mad as ever. I guess you could say that we had grown more distant since I started the guild, they disagreed with my ideas, said they felt powerless as second in commands, and threatened leaving me but I knew they wouldn't. They were too cowardly for such a thing.<span>

"What did you _do?!_" Shalen barked, she and Eila's eyes swords daggers at me.

"…I don't know, what _did _I do?" I asked casually.

"You gave permission for the guild members to KILL on their heists!" Shalen roared in anger.

"So?" I asked.

"We're thieves, not assassins!" Shalen shouted back.

"All I did was make our jobs easier," I shrugged, "Why sneak around a guard when you can just kill him and move on?"

"It's going to make our bounties higher!" Shalen continued to yell.

"All the more publicity!" I laughed, "Besides, even when we have gotten caught, we've always escaped execution anyway!"

"We'll all end up dead if our bounties raise anymore!"

"DO YOU WANT TO RUN THIS GUILD!?" I finally shot back at her, lunging out of my chair to meet her face.

At that, she and Eila backed away. Of course they didn't want to lead the guild, weak rulers like them would be overthrown. There was a small stand off before someone else walked into my office. He had brown eyes, jet black hair, and a sly expression.

"There you are, Ren," he said smoothly as he walked towards me, "Thought I might find you here, you're always fighting with these two,"

Shalen and Eila stared swords at him as well but he was used to it and paid no mind. He only draped his arm around my shoulders and pecked me on the cheek. I returned the gesture with a playful look.

"He's the source of your evil ideas," Eila scowled, "It's not healthy for you to be sleeping with a _cat _like Lupus,"

"Come on now, don't drag me into this," Lupus said coolly then turned to me, "You've got a recruit waiting for you in the main hall,"

"Sure, I'll see you later tonight," I whispered.

Thrusting Karka and Rakka on my hands, I looked up to Shalen and Eila, "As my second in commands I need you at the initiation,"

They only crossed their arms, looking away, and giving a reluctant 'fine'.

The three of us walked down to the main hall which was stone pillars and stairs built off the walls and floors of a cave. Banners of a raven hung from every pillar, its wings outstretched in a Celtic pattern. Shalen, Eila, and I stood at the top of the steps and at the foot knelt the initiate. She was blonde with blue eyes that shakily glanced up at us in anxiety.

"Nyxa, you have proven yourself a resourceful thief," I announced, my authoritative voice echoing through the halls, "Are you ready to become one of The Raven's Wings?"

"Yes," she managed to respond as she put her right hand over her heart.

I took a deep breath and began the oath, "On pain of death and suffering screams, you will serve the bird of black. Until upon the ground your blood does gleam, to the law you will never go back,"

The initiate removed her hand from her heart but remained kneeling as two members came behind her. I could tell the poor girl was wincing as the two ripped her shirt off, as well as her dignity. Another member entered too, carrying a long needle and a well of black ink. She knelt behind the recruit and began tattooing Celtic raven wings on her back. The initiate's muffled cries faintly filled the hall as the needle carved deeply into her flesh, leaving behind my legacy.

"This is disgusting," Shalen scoffed.

"Oaths like this prevent mutiny," I shot bluntly back at her, not bothering to turn away from the initiate.

"Things like this _cause _mutiny," she hissed.

Just about sick of her nagging, I whipped around to meet her dead on in the face.

"Don't act like this doesn't work," I spat, "You two had the same done to you and I haven't seen a single assassination attempt from you two!"

Eila looked away, remembering the day I forced the two to get the same tattoos. Shalen acted similarly, stroking her back where the wings were engraved. After putting them in their place, I turned back to watch the rest of the initiation ceremony.

* * *

><p>The sound of metal scraping against the stone floor woke me. Had I fallen asleep in my own tears? I was still huddled in the corner of my cell, hugging my knees to my chest, just the way I left myself. Looking to the bars of my cell, I noticed a small trey of food had been slid under a gap in the bars. Looking up a bit farther, I saw the Prince of Mirkwood. Realizing that my eyes were still red and puffy, I scrambled to my feet, whipping my eyes furiously.<p>

"Were you crying?" he asked.

"No," I shot back bitterly but I could tell I wasn't convincing him.

Trying to avoid conversation with the immortal snob, I reached for the trey and went to the back of cell to sit. He wouldn't leave.

"Why did a _prince _bother himself with bringing a criminal dinner?" I scowled, looking over the bits of provisions on the trey.

"I needed a rest from the mayhem out there," he sighed, just as bitterly as me.

"Heat of suspense too much?" I smirked as I poked at the mystery meat.

"We are all going to die here," he muttered to himself.

I only guffawed at this, making him look at me with a curiousness.

"Well maybe _you _will," I laughed, "But I won't,"

I continued to laugh but his curiosity turned to irritation.

"Wouldn't that be funny, a dead elf?" I laughed, "I didn't know they could do that!"

As I kept chuckling away, his expression became an angry glare.

"Tell me the rest of the story," he demanded and my laughing immediately ceased and cold sweat ran through my body.

"…What?"

"You didn't go into as much detail at the end of your story," he pointed out, "Why?"

"Why is that important now?" I asked, beginning to take the defensive.

Rather than give me a justifiable reason, a flash of a plea came across in his eyes. I knew that he had accepted the fact that they would die, but he was afraid. He wanted something to get his mind off of things. Or maybe it was because he still cared about me. But how could he still care about me if I Ren now? I sighed, and hugged my knees against my chest again.

"I never miraculously was given a second chance," I admitted, letting my softer side show, "Her name was Eila,"

* * *

><p><span>My leadership was crumbling. Lately, I had begun to notice a hint of defiance in the members. Sometimes they would go on heists without telling me. It made me wonder what other things they were doing behind my back! Secretly, I wished Shalen and Eila were there to comfort me more often but I never let that wish show. I couldn't let them know I was slipping. Yet every night, I could barely sleep, the thought that my very creation could turn on me at any second. And then it came. One night when I had somehow managed to fall asleep, I was rudely awakened.<span>

"Ren!" I heard Shalen's urgent voice, "Get up!"

On instinct, I jumped out of bed, swinging Tooth and Claw at her! She jumped back in reflex but I lowered my weapons when I realized it was only her and Eila.

"W-what do you want?" I asked nervously. If it had been anyone else, they would've taken the chance to slit my throat.

"They're coming," Eila warned me.

"Who?" I asked.

"Your Wings," Shalen said gravely, "Your own guild is turning against you,"

"We came to warn you and get you out of here!" Eila finished.

"B-but, why aren't you with them," I asked, breathless from the shocking news.

"No time to explain, take nothing but Karka and Rakka," Shalen ordered, "We're getting out of this place!"

We snuck through back ways until we exited our hidden base through the back. We hastily saddled up our horses, and took off into the night! We ran for hours, constantly watching our backs for followers. We finally stopped at the side of the road to give our steeds a rest.

"Who led the mutiny?" I asked.

"Lupus," Eila scowled, "He was playing you the whole time,"

"Fucking little…" I cursed under my breath then moved on to the next question, "Why did you two help me? I thought you hated me,"

Shalen's green eyes got glassy and she took me by the hand, squeezing it hard.

"No matter all the terrible things you did, Ren, we always forgave you," she confessed sincerely, "You're our friend and we would never stab you in the back,"

Shalen's tears were contagious as I felt a tear or two roll out of my eyes.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness," I cried, "I'm a monster,"

Shalen hugged me tight and I felt Eila embrace me from the other side. I never knew that I had friends by my side all those years. It took me until then to realize it. We cried for a few moments before we broke apart and became serious.

"They'll know you're gone soon," Shalen explained, "And they'll come looking for us,"

"So what do we do?" I asked.

"We run," Shalen said simply, "We run until we settle down. I managed to snatch some stolen gold before we left and I think it's barely enough to get a place,"

I liked the idea, it sounded like the perfect fresh start.

"But it won't be that easy," Eila introduced the second half of the plan, "Lupus is vengeful and he won't give up easily. He WILL keep searching for you no matter what,"

"We have to stage your death, Ren," I felt Shalen's hand squeeze mine again, "There's a town a few miles ahead and it will be the first place the guild looks,"

Shalen grabbed something out of her black horse's saddle bag and showed it to me. It was a crystal vial with what appeared to be water but water wouldn't be put in such an expensive container.

"We got this on one of our heists and we were going to sell it until we realized what it does," Shalen explained.

I only kept staring with a 'go on' face.

"Whoever drinks it will appear to be dead for 7 hours," she continued, "Our plan is to first, go into town, steal a few things that will give us some extra support for when we start our new life, have you drink this, leave you at the undertaker's, Lupus and his gang will come looking and find you then leave thinking you're dead, and then we'll get you out of there before they can bury you,"

It was a lot to take in but I had done heists more complex. I only nodded saying, "I'll do it" and we were on the road again.

* * *

><p><strong>And if yall are wondering, Eila, the way I pronounce it is Ay-la.<strong>


	29. Sleeping Drugs

**So sorry updates have been slow. I've been focused on my Ouran fic, Our Realm, and I'm rly addicted to Rune Factory 4 too. Shout out to Ariaelyne and thank u so much Random42cc! Much appreciated!**

* * *

><p><span>It was luckily still night by the time we arrived in the hole in the wall town.<span>

"There should be plenty of silver in the governor's house," Eila whispered to us, "We take that, and then commence our plan for faking Ren's death"

We nodded and snuck off into the shadows of the town. However this thief job was going to be very difficult. I hadn't even studied the layout of the town let alone the guard patterns! This heist was going to be a shot in the dark and a very messy one at that! I boarded my horse because we couldn't spare money on Shalen's or Eila's so we just hid them in the woods. From there we easily snuck into the governor's house, and began taking every piece of silver from every drawer and cabinet. I was just taking out the last plate when we heard the door being broken down! It shattered the silence, making us all freeze and exchange panicked looks. I motioned for the two to hide in a corner with me, slightly hidden by two shelves while we listened to the intruders (although we were also intruders).

"Right," said one, "Orders from…uh…"

"It says Lupus you idiot!" another voice came and smacked the first voice over the head, "You can't read for shit!"

"Ow!" The first voice flinched, "Well _Lupus _said to be on the lookout for three women, two with black hair and green eyes, and a third with red hair and green eyes,"

"Yeah and I could've swore I saw three girls sneaking in here," said the second voice.

_Damnit! _I thought. _I should've known! I taught Lupus myself how to plan heists and the one important thing I taught him was to always anticipate your enemy's moves! He knew our escape would be here and he tipped off some bounty hunters in advance before beginning the mutiny! That CAT!_

"Bounty Hunters," I breathed, tipping Shalen and Eila off.

"Let's hurry up and get them before some guards notice we broke in," one said, "After that we just send word for Lupus, he comes and sees our handy work of the dead girl with black hair and green eyes, and he'll let us join his guild!"

_HIS GUILD!? _I wanted to scream.

I gave Eila and Shalen the signal to move out. Quickly, we tiptoed out of the dark kitchen and into the back room. The back door was in close sights when…

**THUNK**

An arrow landed just above the latch on the back door, and it was in there good! There was no way of opening it now! The tree of us turned to see the two bounty hunters, and they had blood lust written all over them as they aimed their bows at us. It was Shalen's turn to improvise, she took some stairs on her right, and we followed, skipping steps by threes. Sprinting down the hall, I locked us up in a storage room at the end of the hall. All sorts of random items lay around and a window was on the other side of the room.

"Right," I snarled, unsheathing Tooth and Claw, "Open the door, I'm ready to take them!"

"What?!" Shalen gasped, "Ren, we won't let you kill them!"

"Why not?!"

"Because killing is what led you to the monster you became, you don't want to continue down that road!" Shalen objected.

"But this is an exception, if we don't kill these brutes, they'll kill us!" I shouted back at her.

The locked door started bulging up and down from the two bounty hunters ramming into it. Eila was nervously standing on the other side of the room, nervously wringing her hands.

"How different are they from the guards we avoided our whole life?!" Shalen screamed, "They had orders to kill on sight and for years we snuck around them!"

"Shalen, I am the guild leader…" I began to say, not thinking at all.

"See!" She yelled back, "You're still the monster you were in the guild, you can't even let go of your position! I knew you didn't have it in you to change! We should've just let you be killed by Lupus!"

"You two!" Eila interrupted our argument, jumping between us then pointing, "The bloody window!"

Without speaking, Shalen and I bolted for the window, Shalen dropping down first. It was a long fall but it was nothing us experienced acrobats couldn't handle. Just as I was about to climb out, I looked up at Eila, who was still staring at the door.

"Eila, are you coming?" I asked a rhetorical question.

"No,"

I sputtered on my words from disbelief for a few moments.

"W-what?!" I finally said.

"No," she repeated, "They've almost got the door down, just go,"

"Why?" I asked, making her look at me.

I saw the same blind love in her eyes that Shalen did, almost as if she had been there the night Shalen found me. Her emerald eyes turned to glass.

"Even if we do get away, what then?" she asked but answered her own question before I could, "These two have already seen us and if we try to pass off your dead body to Lupus, they'll only tell him that we got away and he'll be suspicious,"

"What are you saying? We'll think of something, we always do!" I tried to reason with her.

"What I'm saying is that they need a body," she mumbled, "…And we look a lot alike,"

"No!" I immediately rejected the very thought of it.

"It's my turn to make the plan, Ren!" she pleaded, "The only way for you to live happily is if Lupus knows for sure that you're dead and if their story doesn't check out, he won't think you're really dead. He'll just find you out and hunt you down! Let them have me then use the potion and switch our bodies!"

"Eila, no!" I tried to stop her, grabbing her arm.

"Just go!" she urged, pulling away from my grasp.

"No!"

"Just go!"

"I am NOT leaving without you!" I finally shrieked.

"JUST GO, DAMNIT!" Eila screamed right back.

She raised her right foot, the one I admired the first day I met her, the way she moved it was as if she was in combat. It shoved itself into my chest, throwing me back, out the window, and as I fell from her view, I saw the bounty hunters burst in and her sorrowful eyes watching me go. I was the last person she'd see no doubt before they slit her throat. My head hit the ground and I was out.

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><p>I noticed a small tear had just barely escaped my left eye and hoping Legolas didn't notice, I whipped it away.<p>

"So that's it," I shrugged, "The rest is a blur. I remember waking up and drinking the potion. But we didn't know a side effect was Amnesia,"

_But then again, maybe Shalen knew. _I thought. _She had to have known! Why else did she take the opportunity to lie to me and turn me into Calen? If she really didn't know that potion caused amnesia, she would've tried calling me Ren when I woke up. But she didn't._

Making a mental note to ask her about that if I ever saw her again, I looked back up to the elf. I could see that he was trying to hide his sadness. But yet, he also had a look of relief as if he could be at peace if he knew my full story before going off to die. Why would he want to know a dirty thief's story? His eyes making me fidget once more, I picked up some bread that he brought me and began munching.

"Why do you remember now?" I heard him ask.

His question took me by surprise, I didn't know he was this curious!

"I didn't think it was important to mention before, I thought you knew," I shrugged, "Sometimes trauma can reconnect memories, I guess it just took a trample of a warg and the stab of a sword to make it happen,"

I went back to grazing.

"One more question," his soft voice, making me tense up.

There was a long silence before I acknowledged his request. It was hard enough to open up myself to him (which I only did because I knew he would die anyway) but now he wanted to pry more?!

"What is it?" I replied grimly.

"Did you love him?" he asked with a worried twinge invading his cool voice.

The thought of Lupus made me clench my fists and scowl but I still didn't look up to meet him.

"No," I spat, "We only slept together because we could satisfy each other's fetishes. It's not like I was married to him or anything,"

At this I glared at him and he seemed to look a tad scandalized. I almost smirked at the prince's innocence. Instead I took another bite.

"Thank you, Ren,"

That made me look up with wide eyes. He was the first person to call me Ren, the first person to accept I wasn't Calen anymore! But was he ok with the fact that I wasn't Calen anymore?

"And I'm sorry," he apologized as he stood up.

Then I noticed a scalding migraine starting to grind away at my head. I felt myself fall over and struggle to stand again but I felt the energy draining from my body.

"But we needed to make sure you wouldn't try to escape," he said sincerely as he opened the door to leave the prison.

"You blue-eyed bastard!" I shouted after him as I tried to fight the drugs.

But then again, how could I fight them off when I couldn't even withstand the side effects of the last sleeping drug.


	30. Shalen's Return

**So sorry for the wait but if you follow my other fic (Our Realm) I made an update saying I was on vacation and I also said that on my DeviantArt (check profile for link). My DA is actually the best place to look for updates. So without further ado, Chapter 30...**

**Oh, right!**

**Shout out to lizziecats for all her enthusiasm and suggestions! While I probably won't be using them completely (I don't want to seem like a freeloader who can't write on her own ^^'), I hope to use them for future ideas.**

**Hope this chapter clears up any questions you had!**

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><p>Even now I'm still angry about this. I slept through it. I slept through it all. I knew those drugs were powerful but I didn't think they'd keep me out through the most epic battle in Middle Earth! Judging by the calm atmosphere and my alive state of being, I guessed that Rohan had somehow miraculously won! My eyes gradually cracked open, meeting a dry and dusty air, making them water up. Helplessly, I tried to move but the drug's effects were still strong, making my muscles as lax as rubber. So instead I only accomplished rolling over on my back and letting out a curse. Now that I could see, my body was covered in dust and dirt as if much of it had been kicked up from the battle. The cell's ceiling was also disheveled and some sunlight leaked through it.<p>

"Fucking drug, fucking elf, fucking Helms Deep," I muttered under my breath as I began wriggling my toes and fingers, trying to bring feeling back to my limbs.

"When I get out of here they're all going to die," I kept muttering as I regained feeling in my neck.

A guffaw interrupted my struggle and I whipped my fierce look to see Aragorn, stifling a laugh. It was the first time I ever saw him laugh but it just made me seethe in anger even more.

"What's so funny?" I growled.

"You look like a fish," he laughed.

Much like the daughter to him that I used to be, his laugh made me want to smile to but then I remembered. He still thought I was Calen.

"So you're alive?" I growled, I could wriggle my left hand around again.

Aragorn's smirk dropped as did his eyes, "Many died in battle. We barely succeeded,"

Propping my limp body on my left arm, I asked, "Did anyone in the Fellowship die?"

"Fortunately, no,"

"Good," I sputtered as I hobbled to my feet, "Because_ I_ want to kill that elf!"

Aragorn looked at me skeptically.

"You are letting me out of here, right?" I asked angrily, "The king said I'd stay in here until the battle was over!"

"Yes," Aragorn sighed, "But he still does not trust you completely. He's allowed you to be free but you must be on your best behavior. One slip and he'll send you back here,"

"Oh I'll just put on my best curtsy for him, won't I?" I scoffed, "Please let me out,"

Aragorn reached for a ringlet of keys and soon the clicking of my cell door opening filled my ears. It was a satisfactory sound. Finally free, I stepped out of my prison, breathing in the dusty air as if it were the clear air of freedom. He handed me Karka and Rakka, putting a finger to his lips as if he were sneaking them in.

"Thanks," I muttered as I tucked them away.

Why was he being so nice when I was being so cruel?

Speed walking down the hall, I entered the throne room, my eyes immediately finding Legolas. I was about to go over and give him a dose of sass when someone demanded my attention.

"Calen!"

I whipped around to the dwarf with a scowl, disgusted that he still used that name.

"Er…Hen," he stumbled with his words.

"_Ren_," I growled, pronouncing every letter.

"Pardon me, _Ren,_" he rolled his eyes, "But someone outside is asking to see you,"

_Who else knows me besides the Fellowship? _I thought, walking briskly to the grand doors.

With some effort I shoved the huge double doors, open, revealing what was left of Helms Deep. What once were walls were piles of stone and rubble. Judging by the smell, they were still cleaning up the bodies. Then she broke from the crowd of guards who were trying to stop her.

"You need to stay in the caves!" they shouted or, "We're still getting rid of the bodies!"

She sprinted past every one, ducking under every attempt to grab her. I recognized the girl's technique.

"SHALEN!" I screamed as I ran to her.

We collided in the messiest hug in recorded history. My tattered, dusty hair sprayed dirt all over her and her old rags did the same but with blood from trudging through dead bodies. Every bone in my body told me to be angry at her. Be angry for creating Calen in my place and lying about who I was, for who she was! But I was so happy to see her all my insults came out in sobs of joy.

"You stupid bitch," I cried into her, "I missed you!"

We broke apart, most of the guards having backed off from the socially awkward atmosphere.

"Oh, Calen, as soon as you left and the elves searched the town, I feared the worst!" she cried with tears rolling down her face.

Now my tears of joy turned into ones of sadness. I only stared on at her in sorrow. How could she act so innocent? Didn't she know what she had done? Her face slowly turned to a sad one as well, realizing she could no longer keep her little raven safe.

"…Ren?" she asked in a whisper, "You remember?"

"Why did you lie?" I asked, my vision blurred from all the crying.

"It's a long story…" she muttered, "Can we find a place to sit.

We took a seat in the throne room and the Fellowship decided to lurk on the other end, carefully listening in.

"Who are they?" Shalen asked.

I rolled my eyes, realizing I'd have to explain my weird friends to Shalen. Ignoring my rudeness, I pointed to each one.

"That's Aragorn," I pointed to the ranger, "He's been very kind to me, even after I remembered who I was. He's sort of like a father figure,"

"That's Gimi," I pointed to the dwarf, "Not much to say about him. Good fighter. I don't actually know him all too well,"

"And that's Legolas," I pointed to the elf, "Prince of Mirkwood. Just an example of what your lie did to me,"

Shalen looked back to me with a confused expression.

"What?" she asked.

"I only just remembered a few days ago but while I was Calen…I…" I tried to make the words come out but they were so disgraceful I could barely speak at all, "I fell in love with him,"

The very thought of it made me shudder.

"Why is that a bad thing?" Shalen asked, taking my hands and looking me in the eyes, "Does he love you back?"

"He did when I was Calen," I sighed, "But now I'm not so sure,"

"Do you still love him?" came the fateful question from Shalen's mouth in a low whisper.

There was a pause before I spoke reluctantly, "I don't know. He was so nice to me when I was Calen and I was so hopelessly dependent on him it was disgusting. He weakened me and I hate it!"

"Maybe that's a good thing," Shalen said, putting a hand to my cheek.

Her words were about to reach my heart when I pushed her hand away. I couldn't be weakened, not anymore.

"You were going to explain things to me," I said monotonously, trying to change the subject.

Taking the hint, Shalen backed off and began her story.

"I didn't know the potion would cause amnesia, Ren," she said sincerely, "You have to believe me,"

"I do," was all I said.

"At first, everything went alright. Lupus came, mistook Eila's body for yours, and then left. Of course before that I had to pay off the undertaker to do exactly what I told him. We made a deal that I would pretend to be his daughter for a while until you woke up, just in case anyone came in and questioned who I was," Shalen stopped for a moment and heaved a heavy breath, "Then he recognized the vial. He said it was called the "Memory Potion", one that makes people appear dead and wake up without a clue in the world."

Shalen's tears started up again.

"I-I didn't know what to do!" she cried, hugging herself, "I remember standing over you, knowing that you were slowly losing your memory! I wanted to wake you but I feared it would cause some other awful side effect, like make you brain dead! So all I could do was sit there, wondering how I'd re-explain things to you!"

"But you didn't"

She shook her head, "I knew you would be so distraught over losing Eila and would forever blame yourself. How could I tell an innocent woman who woke up, knowing nothing, that she had such a dark past?"

Shalen broke into hysterics, dropping her head and her shoulders heaving violently. I placed my hand on her head, stroking her crimson hair.

"Now I understand," I whispered, "You only wanted to protect me,"

I heard a faint "Mmhm" come from her weeps. Pulling her into a hug, I noticed the Fellowship had left. I suppose men can only take so much girl drama in one day.

"Not long after the elves came looking for you, I went to Rivendell and heard an adventure party had left," she explained weakly, "I knew you would follow…so did I…until I came here and I was forced into the caves with the others,"

Shalen and I stayed together for who knows how long, getting our stress and tears out until the sun started to set. Then she left to bathe and get into some less rancid clothes and I left to talk to the healers. They informed me that my injury would most likely keep me from having children but I didn't care. Children were the last thing on my mind.

As I settled into bed that night, I wondered where Frodo was. Was he even still alive? Of course he was, this is Frodo we're talking about, he's got Sam with him so there's no way he'll fail. I rolled over on my back, staring at the ceiling. That sleeping drug still had me drowsy. I still had to punt that elf into next week for that.

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><p><strong>Next time, Ren (Calen) gets a heart to heart talk with Gandalf!<strong>


	31. Ren or Calen?

**I apologize for the long wait but the source I normally use to get LOTR movies has failed (coughMegasharecough) so it took me a while to build up the tolerance to stream it from my tablet which is incredibly slow and aggravating! But I did it, so here's the next chapter! A little FYI, I will be making her be Calen again in the next chapter b/c of the bad reception Ren got. Ren will be renamed Calen again, but she will still have her memories. Just deal with Ren for a bit ok?**

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><p>"Ren, Ren, Ren!" I heard Shalen's voice from my sleep.<p>

Then I felt her hands on my shoulders, shaking me violently.

"Shove off," I moaned, rolling over and pulling the covers over my head.

Shalen only ripped them off me and grabbed me by the arm.

"Come ON!" she whined.

"No," I groaned in response.

"We're leaving in an hour!" I heard her snap.

"W-what?!" I stuttered, sitting bolt up.

"Gotcha!" she laughed.

I looked over at Shalen, her gleaming green eyes and vibrant smile. Oh how I had missed her. No day could be sour with that girl.

"Bitch," I chuckled, climbing out of bed.

"But no, really," she exclaimed, "I've got great news!"

"You get another horse in Rivendell?" I joked, digging in my pack for my clothes.

"Very funny," she rolled her eyes, "Well first off, I met all your Fellowship friends and they're really nice,"

"Even the stiff one?" I asked.

"Hm?"

"The _elf_," I said with disdain.

"Yes, the one that you…" she began.

My hand flew from my pack to her mouth.

"Not another word!" I said, flustered, "I don't anymore!"

"Okay," Shalen said skeptically, removing my hand from her mouth.

I tried to go about fixing my hair into a ponytail but I couldn't keep the question in anymore.

"Did he say anything about me?"

"Bwahahaha!"

"Shalen!" I snapped, "I only want to know…"

"Cuz you totally want to snog him!" she laughed.

I thrust my hand over her mouth again, she was too loud for her own good.

"No, _bitch,_" I hissed, "I want to make sure he wants nothing to do with me anymore,"

"…Really?" Shalen asked, looking confused, "Why?"

"Like I said, he made me weak when I was Calen," I scoffed, "And I want him to see me as Ren, not Calen. A woman who won't be weakened anymore,"

I turned away and slipped Karka and Rakka over my hands. Shalen sighed.

"You really don't want to open up to anyone do you?"

"I've got you," I shrugged.

Shalen stared on at me with pitiful eyes, shaking her head.

"But you won't always,"

"Please don't talk like that," I whispered then held out a hand, "Come, let's saddle up,"

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><p>I slung my saddle over my shoulder, lugging it towards my horse's stall, grabbing an apple from my pocket along the way.<p>

"Hey boy," I muttered, patting him on the snout, "Guess what? I remember,"

"Do you now?" an old voice asked.

I spun around to see the White Wizard, and the good one, his warm smile as it always was and his kind eyes still gleaming.

"Gandalf!" I dropped my saddle and launched myself into his arms.

He gave a jolly laugh as he hugged me back, making me feel like Calen all over again. I breathed in that old tree scent that he always had to him, probably because his staff was made from a sycamore or something. After a few seconds, I pulled away, finding myself mimicking his warm smile.

"It is good to see you again, Calen," he said, placing a hand on my head.

_Looks like I'll have to explain this to him too. Having amnesia blows._

"I…uh," I muttered awkwardly, trying to find a way to tell him.

Gandalf tilted his head to the side in curiosity. It was going to be hard to let down the man who had so much faith in me.

"I'm…not Calen," I finally blurted out.

Nervously looking up, I saw Gandalf's eyebrows raised in surprise, looking even more curious. He didn't look sad or upset like the others had!

"Is that so?" Gandalf asked, leaning on his staff down to my eye level, "Well I'd love to hear all about who The Raven really is,"

He made it seem so easy: tell your new name, your back story, and etcetera. But how could I when my past and even my name were drenched in blood. Didn't he know that? Why was he so happy about it?

"Hi…my name is Ren," I began.

"What a lovely name!" Gandalf mused.

I looked at him skeptically and he gave me an equally skeptical look back.

"Why so doubtful?" he asked, "Aren't you happy to know who you are?"

"Y-yes, I am!" I said defensively, "Really, I am grateful…alright I'm not, I hate it…"

Gandalf stayed in silence, waiting patiently for me to continue. I almost felt like a child, begging for something then realizing how awful it was and wanting nothing to do with it ever again.

"I thought that learning who I was would…do something!" I said exasperatedly, "But all it did was fill me with regrets of the past,"

I fought back tears at the thought of Eila. I felt Gandalf's hand on my shoulder, squeezing it in reassurance.

"Ren, I knew from the start that your past was a sinful one," Gandalf admitted, "I never expected The Raven's tale to be one of a happy ending. But one cannot live unaware of their history, let alone run from it for it will catch up to them. Why do you think Frodo let you come with us?"

I looked up to the old man, remembering the Ring Bearer's trusting face that day, the only one in the group.

"It was so that you could find yourself," Gandalf said spiritedly, "And you have done just that! He would be proud,"

"Proud to know the people I murdered?" I asked in a whisper.

Gandalf shook his head, "Proud to know the _real _Raven,"

The old coot was right. Everyone in Middle Earth knew me as the legend who killed and stole but now that I had rediscovered myself, I had found who The Raven truly was. Just a girl who was drunk on power and in the end, caused the death of her friend. A girl who repented for her sins and did her best to make up for them. I don't think I'd be the same Raven as I was back then if I hadn't learned that, I'd still be drunk on power. And all it took was to rediscover who I really was.

"Do you think it's too late for me to still be Calen?" I asked tentatively.

Gandalf raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"Calen allowed me a fresh start…and I don't want to leave her behind. I mean sure she was weak and stuff but I can't forget about her so quickly…" I thought aloud.

"You can be whoever you want to be," Gandalf smiled, "We are your friends and we will accept you no matter what,"

Gandalf, who had just stood there as I had my epiphany, decided to take on a lighter tone.

"So, now that you know your real name," he said, taking his hand off my shoulder, "What is your steed's name?"

Immediately brightening of the thought of my friend, I turned around to my horse and held out the apple to him. Watching him happily nibble away at his favorite treat, I remembered the last time he had an apple. The time I wished he could speak to tell me who I really was, but now I didn't need that.

"Discord," I said, patting his neck, "His name's Discord,"

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><p><strong>DundunDUUUUUUUN! Discord is part of her prophecy right? Interesting...<strong>

**Next time in Chapter 32, Ren decides to be the Fellowship's Calen once again (happy now?). Oh, and they go confront Saruman.**

**(Disclaimer: Ren's decision to be Calen again may seem abrupt in this chapter and the next but I had to do it quickly for the sake of keeping my readers happy ^^)**


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